Totem Wolf

Totem Wolf

Awakened in the dark,
my vision was led to a light - a portal.
Its presence frightening albeit mesmerizing,
for I did not understand the way of the wolf. 
Unable to move, the paralytic force
kept me captive for the brief moment
it made its existence known.
Why me, here, now?
I was made to watch and hold the memory,
until the day it would all become clear.
Spiritual birth of a busy mother's psyche would have to wait
the long suffering years of imperfections
too vast to number. Hurt,
straining to fight against that
which has called me to open my mind,
my heart; the depths of my soul,
for it represented the great unknown.
I was shown that another way existed; that one day, I would realize
the true potential it held for me.
Patience wavering, until I was ready to accept.
Accept all that my guide offers,
and let it bathe me in its warmth--so welcoming.
Now, I understand the path my guide has opened for me.
I walk without fear.
Hope is renewed,
in a bounty that never before existed,
in the previous years of gray in my life.  Now, I believe.
Such a calling does not present itself to all.
It is sad, not for them,
for they have no idea, but for me,
who has let time dwindle without acceptance
for that which was meant to be.
No longer will I turn my back and ignore my spirit,
my Totem Wolf,
for he is my guide;
no longer an "it" I know that now!
I find joy amidst the coves of pines,
the branches of great oaks and the sweet scent of maple after a pre-spring rain.
I am accepted,
as a mother to the mother,
a caretaker of that which gives us nourishment
at the purest banquet nature has to offer.