Bright Lights, Big City

It was my first time in New York,
though I’d seen it oft portrayed,
but I wanted the experience in
Real Time to hopefully get laid.

I was looking for some Big Love.
You know, a little Sex and the City
I’d heard the tales of the women,
how they all dressed up so pretty.

Well, I grabbed a cab at the curb,
told the driver what I wanted.
He spoke to me in a foreign tongue
but I pressed on, undaunted.

He brought me to a neighborhood
with cracked sidewalks filled with Weeds
but I wasn’t paying attention
to anything more than my needs.

I walked into this establishment
where the lights were way down low.
I noticed several women
and some couples dancing slow.

It wasn’t long before a lady
approached me and asked for a drink.
She was tall and blond and lovely
and her lips were luscious pink.

We moved to the back of the place
and soon were kissing up a storm.
I asked if she wanted to take a walk
since we both were getting warm.

Outside she came into my arms
when I discovered the mirage.
There was more to her than met the eye;
she had an Entourage!

Now I believe in Brotherhood
but this was carrying it a bit too far.
If I wanted Deadwood I would go to the beach
so I quickly headed back to the car.

Well I learned my lesson well.
The next time I need a vacation,
I heading to the other coast
for a little Californication!


HBO: Real Time; Big Love; Entourage; Sex and the City; Deadwood;
SHOWTIME: Californication; Weeds; Brotherhood