An Unfair Advantage

Few things are more frightening to an eight year old boy than a cute girl with a crush on him. This is especially true when that girl sits in the same class and the same row, only one seat over. Such was the case with young Bobby Scales.

Every day he arrived at school with his mind a confused, prepubescent mix of dread and anticipation. He spent entire days trying to simultaneously get her attention and avoid direct eye contact. Several times daily, she would manage to catch his eye and smile, immediately turning him bright pink. This had never, not once, gone unnoticed by his fellow male primates.

Then one day it happened. He got the note. It read, “Bobby Scales, I don’t like you anymore.”

Bobby was not sure if this was good news or bad. He tried to ignore the whole thing. Shoot, he didn’t even like girls. An hour later, he was in the nurse’s office with an upset stomach and a feeling akin to despair.

The nurse checked him out and could find nothing outwardly wrong. She recommended sitting quietly in her office for a period or two which he did with emotional inertness.

The last bell of the day sounded and Bobby was excused with directions to go straight home and tell his mom that he didn’t feel well.

“Bobby! Bobby!” came a voice imprinted on his young mind.

He turned to see her, Amanda, running over to him.

“Are you okay? I heard you were not feeling well,” she said.

“I’m okay,” said the now pink eight year old.

“That’s good. I also wanted to tell you that I still like you.”

After a placing a quick peck on his cheek, she disappeared into a school bus.

Bobby floated home, no less confused.

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