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I revisioned the first Saw movie if it were more like a comedy I wrote. |
Sawed Chapter the First Francis woke up in darkness, on a cold, hard floor. “Where…where am I?” The lights suddenly turned on, and Francis saw he was in a dirty old bathroom. He looked down and saw his foot was chained to a lead pipe, and across the room from him, another man was in the same situation. Only he was still asleep. “Hey man, wake up! Something weird is happening…” The man stirred, opening his eyes slowly. “Uggggh...did you drug me and chain me up in the basement ?” he said. “No, someone else has done this. To both of us, see? My foot is chained up as well.” “Hmm…this is quite a problem.” “Let me think…let me think…let me think…aha! I have a solution. All you gotta do is gnaw through your ankle!” exclaimed Francis. “That’s it? That’s all I gotta do?” said the mystery man. “Yeah. And once you’re free you can go and find some bolt cutters or something to cut me loose, deal?” “I think I’d rather sit here and wait for a voice to emanate from the walls and explain our current situation, to tell you the truth.” At that moment, a voice began to emanate from the walls. “Hello Francis. I want to play a game.” “Wow, sooner than expected” said the mystery man. “Hello Mr. Voice Sir!” “Dude shut the fuck up, he’s talking to me.” Francis hit the man. The voice continued. “...you have until four o' clock to shoot and kill Harris. That’s the guy you just hit. There is a loaded gun in a small chest hidden behind some pipes in the wall, right near you.” Francis searched along the wall for the gun. “No, a bit to the left. Warmer...warmer...yeah that's it, right the- no, no, you missed it. Go back. Yep that's the spot, it's in between the two pipes. It's like right in front of you man, are you fucking blind?” Francis finally saw the chest. “Here we go…” he said to himself. Harris’ eyes widened as Francis pulled the gun out of the chest. The voice spoke again. “Anyway, as I was saying, it's noon at the moment. You have four hours to kill Harris. If you succeed, you will leave here a free man. If not, this place will become your tomb. Live or die, make your choice.” “Wait…” said Francis. “…so I have four hours to do this? Four whole hours? To kill him? Is this supposed to be a challenge or something?” The voice didn’t answer. “Hey man, don’t get any crazy ideas!” yelled Harris. “We need to work together to thwart this madman!” “Yeah but I don't mind shooting you to save myself. Haha, he gave me four hours, like it's gonna be a tough decision.” Francis pulled the hammer back on the pistol. “Please Francis…I…I’ll gnaw through my ankle.” Harris put his teeth on his ankle and prepared to bite down. “See? I’m good at gnawing. Gnaw gnaw gnaw, look at me gnaw!” “I don’t even see any broken skin. You gotta gnaw better than that to stop me from shooting you.” Harris bit down a little bit harder, but still there was no broken skin. “GNAW LIKE YOU MEAN IT!” shouted Francis. Harris, terrified, bit down hard, so hard that he began to bleed from his ankle. Francis slowly lowered the gun. “Alright now we're getting somewhere. Now hurry up, I want you crunching through bone in ten minutes.” Harris continued to gnaw. “I’m too good to you Harris, I really am. I could’ve just shot you, but instead I'm letting you gnaw through your own ankle. You're really gonna owe me one after this.” Chapter the Second Harris bit through flesh, almost to the bone. His mouth was covered in blood, and each time he bit down he screamed louder than before. “Quit whining” barked Francis. “P…please…I’m not even at the bone yet. I don’t want to do this Frank…please don’t make me do this…” Francis sighed. “Fine.” He grabbed the gun and without hesitating, shot Harris in the chest. Harris fell back, unmoving. “Okay, I’ve done what you told me! Now let me out of here.” Silence. “Hey voice! I killed Harris, just like you told me to! NOW LET ME GO!!” Still silence. “Aww geez, he better answer me soon.” FLASHBACK – Four Hours Earlier Francis was in a parking lot, walking toward his car. “Walking to the car, walking to the car, I really enjoy, walking to my ca-” Francis realized something strange afoot. He felt like he was being watched. “Umm…is there anybody watching me? God, is that you?” No answer. “I’m just going to get into my car now…umm…whoever’s spying on me…yeaah…good luck with that.” Francis got into his car and slammed the door, locking it. “Get me out of here.” He put the keys in the ignition when he noticed breathing noises coming from behind him. Before Francis had a chance to do anything, from behind the back seat an arm wrapped around his neck, holding him still. A gloved hand appeared and stuck a needle into his arm. “Nighty night.” “Oh…jesus…” Francis slumped to his side, and turned over just as he was losing consciousness. He looked up at the man and recognized him. “B…Brian…is that you?” “Yes it is! Muahahahah! Muahahahahah!” “You…fuc-fucking…cunt…uggghh.” Francis fell unconscious. END FLASHBACK “Oh dear god! I remember now! Brian is responsible for all of this! That son of a bitch! He made me kill that guy!” Francis fell to the side of the wall, and began to sob uncontrollably. Chapter the Third Little did Francis know that Harris was still very much alive. The bullet had missed his heart, and while causing extensive damage, it did not kill him immediately. Harris woke up to Francis’ crying, and decided to keep quiet for the time being. If Francis knew Harris was still alive, then he would finish the job for his own freedom. As Harris lay there bleeding, he tried to think about something else, anything to take his mind away from the pain. FLASHBACK – Three Hours Earlier Harris was in his apartment, in the dim light, holding a camera. “I can hear you breathing…show yourself…” He took a photo, lighting up part of the room. “Lorenzo Lamas, this better not be another one of your sick jokes. I’m actually frightened here.” He took another photo. Still nothing. “This isn’t funny. Whoever you are just show yourself, I know you’re out there.” Suddenly, from out of the darkness, Harris saw a pig face approaching him. His heart skipped a few beats. “HOLY WTF PIG FACE?” END FLASHBACK “A pig did this to us?” yelled Harris. Francis heard Harris’ voice. “Hey…you’re alive?” “Ah geez…um…yeah I’m alive. Only barely.” “I’m sorry for shooting you.” said Francis. “He must have a heart-rate monitor attached to you or something. It makes sense now; he knew you were still alive. That's why he didn't let me go after I shot you.” “It was a pig that did this to us, do you realize that? I had a flashback while I was lying there before.” “Huh? A pig? I had a flashback too, it was my friend Brian who did this.” “Brian?” “Yeah, he was hiding in my car.” “That son of a bitch!” “I know! But getting back to the topic at hand, how the hell are we gonna get out of this?” Just then, Harris came to a sad realization. “Frank…I’m gone…this bullet wound, I’m losing a lot of blood. Just…just finish me off.” “Yeah, I would have done that earlier when you were talking, but he only gave me one bullet.” “Oh. Well fuck you then.” |