Letter at the start through hard time, and then the main part. |
God, you've stuffed up my life Why did you do that? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT? Why did you have to give me everything I've ever wanted, and then bring it all crashing down on me with one fateful conversation? Why did you decide to let him love me now instead of when I loved him before? Why did you have to get my hopes up so damn high, to destroy them all? Why did you let me break my promise? The only promise I ever made myself? The only promise: DO NOT fall in love ever again????? Why did you let me decide that I'd found everything, that nothing would ever go wrong again? Why did you decide to let him confess two nights ago, on msn? Why did you let me write that email, instead of telling me to shut up so he wouldn't say anything? Why did you let me destroy all I had with a few words -- giving the reciever the wrong meaning? Why did you let me stuff up? Jesse, oh Jesse, I'm so so sorry I don't know what to do I don't want him I want you I just didn't want anyone hurt but of course everything I write comes across as the wrong meaning to the wrong person oh god what have I done? Please please tell me I haven't lost you Jesse please I love you forever I do really you have to understand that I can't not love you god what has this come to? Is there even an us or was it all just a stupid trick from god? Oh god I wish people could understand me, I wish they could experience my feelings and memories, see through my eyes, if only to know how this affects me. God I wish Jesse could know how devastated I am at the moment, I wish he could be here to reassure me that everything is fine, I wish this never happened. God why did you let me stuff up my only chance of being truly happy? God, you've stuffed up my life. Am I Forgiven? God, I should be sent to jail. For thinking what I did. When he wrote those words... I can't just forget it. God, I wish I could die right now. For saying what I did. When I thought of telling him... What is wrong with me? Jesus, I'm such a sinner. For doing what I did. When I wrote those words... God, I feel like shit. Jesus, I'm going insane right now. For thinking about him. When I wrote those hurtful letters... I need to go someplace, away, fom here. Jesse, am I forgiven? For everything I said? For making you imagine crazy things? For making you angry and mad? Jesse, I hope I'm forgiven. 'Cause I can't live without you no more. I need you, I don't want to lose you. Because you I just can't not adore. Taking Over They started with a flutter No more than a flurry of my nerves I tried to speak but I couldn't utter Those meaningful three words Their wings started to beat The beats were irregular They just wouldn't retreat And my heartbeats sounded like thunder The butterflies were taking over My body was now not my own The silly little things how they whispered 'Girl, you know you want to' But I'm back to myself right now When i see you it will probably happen again But who really cares, they're right after all What will be will be, i'll just let it happen Simple Things They look at us and stare They've noticed we're holding hands But who really cares They don't understand Only a few days ago The first time I let it happen It brang me closer to you Probably closer than you can imagine I've explained this a few times before I don't give trust that easily It's like some unwritten law I don't let people get that close to me But you, you're so easy to trust So easy for me to believe And I can only hope That you will never leave But I know that you won't You promised me And it's the simple things that you do That make me so happy This is a promise That I know you will keep It's Like It's like... Crying in the rain, crying in the sunlight Crying in a storm, crying when someone dies Crying when it's dark, crying when it's light Crying your heart out, crying all the time It's like... Hugging your best friend, not wanting to leave Hugging your only, not wanting to show the fear Hugging your parents, drying up your tears Hugging yourself, wishing you could disappear It's like... Kissing in the rain, kissing in the sunlight Kissing in a storm, kissing while you cry Kissing when it's dark, kissing when it's light Kissing with your heart, kissing for the first time It's like... Loving with your all, not wanting to fall Loving with your heart, not wanting to break Loving the same one, who will always care Loving all the world, just for being there It's like... Staring in the eye of a hurricane Watching lightening strike, hoping it stays away Comforting a child, when they have a nightmare Dreaming 'bout a land, where no one gets scared It's like... Smiling in the day, crying late at night Laughing with your friends, faking the whole time Hoping he'll come back, when you know he won't Finding someone new, finally letting go It's like... When we held hands, for the first time When you hugged me, and I almost cried When I hurt you, but you pretended not to care When we first kissed, when we just stare It's like... Knowing it'll last, but still having doubts Hoping that he'll never fall for someone else Feeling you're a theif, for stealin' his heart Thinking you're in heaven, when you're really in hell It's like... Finally taking down, the defenses you built Letting someone in, when you don't think you should Showing all your love, arguing who's cute ;P When people ask what's love, my answer is you :P It's like... Finally realizing, he was meant to be Finally letting yourself make new memories Forgiving the people of your past but not forgetting Allowing yourself to dream with no regretting It's like... Falling into the deep ocean blue of your eyes Showing PDA and not caring what others think Letting you know all my thoughts, feelings and dreams Making sure you know I will never leave It's like... Thinking 'bout that time, we were so damn shy We couldn't even look eachother in the eye We only communicated through this awesome site But now we don't hide, 'cause it's not a lie It's like... Meeting your true love, knowing that it's right Giving yourself up, not having to try Letting everything, flow it's own way Staring at him, not needing to say I LOVE YOU! Impossible It’s not very obvious To other people The feelings they share together Because they can’t see The way they adore each other They’re blind to the impossibility Of their togetherness So it’s their little secret All of those little confessions they made Leading up to one huge feeling That joined them together Like they’ll never come apart Their love for each other is impossible But as impossible as it seems It’s there They’re made of impossibilities But that’s why their love is so strong It’s stronger than strong It’s impossible But it’s there Angel He says, I don’t know how this works You’re my little angel My beautiful little angel And I’ll love you forever Forget forever, she says Eternity lasts longer He smiles at her Yes, eternity through forever You My sweetness, she says My beautiful sweetness, What would I do without you? I wouldn’t be all there For you are the one That has shaped my total being My life You are the one Who has let me become My own person Who I am Not like those others That wanted to own me Like a little puppy dog Following orders You are the one Who has let me experience More than is possible Freedom When it comes to feelings You have made me Somebody Who is confident of herself And of her future And you have helped me Let go of my dreadful past My past that I could never forget Forgiven but not forgotten You helped me forgive Letting me believe That you are him He has found a place Inside of you To make up for leaving me And that feeling Is so dreadfully beautiful I know it could shatter Any second It feels so fragile But I know That it won’t Because this is you we’re talking about You The one Who has done everything for me The one Who has let me believe In myself In love In the future In you In us In the impossible You My beautiful sweetness You The one Invisible They don’t even know They’re just in the background Waiting for a piece of gossip That they can share with their friends But they don’t have friends Just people that they share useless information with She knows What they think of her and him together What her best friend wants to happen She knows That they want to tear them apart Just to see them collapse And what would happen after that But they’re all invisible To the couple Just people in the background People you see out of the corner of your eye He knows That she knows this That she feels this way He knows That it is nothing They are nothing Compared to what the feeling they share is They know That they will never fall apart No matter what happens Through the worst times They know That they are destined To be together For longer than forever For eternity His She has given up everything Lost control of her feelings Everything is out of proportion Everything is to the extremes Her hysterical laughing Just for the sake of laughing Her huge smile When she thinks of him Her heart, her tiny heart Seems to burst Whenever they share a moment Together And she knows He’s waiting For the time That he’ll get To be alone With her And she can’t wait For that moment She is stunned By his beautiful manner By his kind words By the sweetness that surrounds him He is like her He can never fully let go Of those that he has shared feelings with But that brings them closer For they have experienced What it’s like To be tricked and fooled And lied to And abandoned And they are both amazed By the knowing That the other will never do that Ever She has been forgiven For almost falling In love Again With somebody That is not him She believes That she must be The luckiest girl Who has ever lived She knows That he would do anything for her To keep her happy But she also knows That he would care a great deal If she did even the tiniest little thing To make them feel apart Even if he says He only cares that she’s happy She knows But she learnt her lesson The feeling that she was losing him Was enough To snap her out of it Because he is the only one Who has ever cared enough To love her back To want her To need her He is a part of her He is everything to her He is indescribable And she has lost control Of her control She is his Loved She is stuck with a feeling of disbelief That she is loved As much as she loves him It will take a while to get used to the feeling It’s new And it is beautiful She knows he loves her So much She is loved She is his little angel He is her beautiful sweetness And they have so many imperfections That just make them more together That bring them even closer Than seems possible Because everything about them is impossible And they know it But that just makes the feeling stronger He tells her That whenever she stares at him like that He feels the strange urge To kiss her He wants to hold her To take her hand And hold her forever And never let go She tells him That whenever she goes to sleep at night And has a bad dream She thinks of him And it goes away And when she falls asleep again She dreams beautiful dreams With them together Holding hands And just staring into each others eyes Not caring abut the world around them Not caring about the weird looks they’re getting Just loving And being loved She thinks silently Why doesn’t he just do it It will be perfect Beautiful Her first kiss From her beautiful sweetness That she knows she will stay with For eternity He thinks silently I wish I wish so bad That we could just happen That I didn’t have to do anything I wouldn’t have to try It would just happen Why doesn’t she start it Because making the first move Seems impossible But I know That it will work Whoever goes first Because we are meant to be She is me I am her She is my beautiful little angel And that is everything They both secretly Daydream about what could happen About the endless possibilities That they could be even closer As impossible as that seems They can always get closer But right now They just enjoy their moments together Waiting for the day That one of them will give in And start their new world together His little angel And her beautiful sweetness They are each other And their togetherness Make up their whole lives And they could never Ever Give that up Just loving And being loved |