Lie to me- Chap 1-15

I have to post this a few chapters at a time but here are the first 16 and the prologue enjoy!



Prologue: The truth behind the lies.

"Hey Lizzie, can I come over tonight? Please?"

I could hear the high pitched singing through the walls.
“Eight bottles of rum...” I cringed. On eight already?

"I…tonight isn’t the best night to come over Elliot."

"What? Why? Is something going on over there Liz?"

His voice suddenly switched from pleading to concerned boyfriend mode.

"No nothing." My little white lie was shattered as the piercing sound of glass breaking erupted just outside my door.

"Was that the ’nothing’ just now?"

"I just..."

Think of a lie, think of a lie...

"I just dropped my mirror and it shattered, no big."

I pressed the receiver to my chest and swung open the bedroom door.

"Lorraine! Cut it out!”

She had a lopsided grin on her face. "Waz duh matter? I’m just having some fun…"

"Fun for you maybe Ray!" I stooped down and picked up the remnants of the bottle, and shoved them into a wastebasket quickly.

"Who are you talking to?" Elliot’s muffled voice vibrated on my chest.

Fib, quickly.

"Nobody, the TV is on-" Bring!

My head whipped around at the sound. Shit!

"Dat was a pretty sound. Who’s at the door huh Liz?" Her drooping eyelids looked up at me and I cringed.

"That was not a pretty sound Ray. That was the last thing I need to hear."

I dug my fingers into my hair and tugged at the roots. This cannot be happening.

"That was the door bell, which means I’m completely screwed."

She dropped the bottle in her other hand and hiccupped loudly. Her body swayed from one side to the other and giggled like a ditzy blonde.

"9 bottles of rum on the wall, 9 bottles of rum! Take one and chug it down ladadadi-freaking- da."

"Stop singing!" I hissed between my teeth. I desperately tried to squelch her distorted screeching by covering her drool covered mouth with my free hand.

"Ugh! Gross!"

I shook my hand and sent her spit flying in all directions.

"Why did you have to go and skip your track meet and get yourself drunk out of your mind?"

I put the phone back to my ear and interrupted Elliot mid-accusation.

"There’s someone there isn’t-"

"Elliot I’ve gotta go! The cavalry has arrived."

"I’m coming over." Elliot said, as if daring me to defy him.

"You’re what- no!"

The line went dead.
I moved the phone from my ear and listened to the droning sound echo from the earpiece.

"Damnit Elliot!"

I clicked the end button and violently threw it against the wall- it detonated into useless fragments of plastic.
I screamed into Lorraine’s chest releasing my frustration like an atomic bomb.

The bell blared down below. Definitely dad. He’s never been one to have patience.

"Would you cool it! I’m coming!"

I grabbed Lorraine’s arm and dragged her over to the closet in my room.

"Now listen up and listen good, don’t leave this closet whatever you do alright?"

She grinned as if she were brainless. She took the locket from around my neck and fiddled with it. It had our picture inside from when we were kids. I slapped her hand away and made her look me in the eyes.

"Do. You. Understand? You understand! Don’t make any noise whatsoever! Not one sound- or we’re both dead, got it?"

She finally nodded. I sighed and kissed her forehead. My nose wrinkled in disgust. She reeked of booze.

"I love you. You’re the best girlfriend I’m not supposed to have."

She smiled and her head flopped backwards- she was out cold.

"Sweet dreams."

Ring ring ring!

"On my way!"

I grabbed the phone pieces and broken bottle and shoved them under the bed. There- the crime scene was everything but invisible.

I bolted down the stairs two at a time. The bell chimed for the umpteenth time. I looked out the peephole and the sight on the other side made my heart skip a beat, and made my eyes bug out. I twisted the deadbolt and shoved back the chain on the top of the door.

"Mom!"

She was leaning against my father in a horribly drunken stupor.

"What took you so long?"

"Um I was..."

Lie, lie...

"In the bathroom, look more importantly, what happened to her?"

I grabbed hold of her right side and hoisted her upwards. Her head lolled to the side and she giggled like an idiot.

"We were at a drug raid just now and one of the guys there was on steroids. He had some needles filled with some weird drug. Your mom got hit with the crud. The station is testing them now."

I dropped her onto the couch and her arm fell off the couch onto the floor. I dropped onto my knees at her side and held her hand. She looked...pitiful. Was everyone trying to imitate a vegetable today?

I looked down at my halfway dead mother, then back up at my father.

"They can fix her though right? She’s not going to-"

"She’ll be fine. Nobody is going to die."

I reached up and moved the bangs from her forehead.

Bang! Bang!

A perfect circle appeared at the center of her head an inch from my hand and another on her shoulder.

"M...mom?"

Her hand went limp and crimson trailed down onto my hand. A shriek rose up into my throat and readied its escape - then I felt the cold circle on my head. My heart froze in terror. I slowly looked upwards...

My father’s gun was out and pointed right at me.

"Dad..."

"Don’t move."

"What...what’s going on?"

Panic. My mind screamed at me the immediate reaction. But my body was dysfunctional; In power failure mode.

"Just listen to your father Liz. You’ll be better off."

Behind me. The voice came from behind me. Dad wasn’t pointing the gun at me...

My head whipped around at sight of the face gleaming in my father’s police badge. He was pointing it behind me.
It was impossible, illogical- but there he was holding a revolver and pointing it at my father.

Elliot.

"You don’t listen well do you Lizzie?"

He smirked and it was a terrifying expression that just didn’t belong on his face.

"So how long?"


"Long...?"

I blinked, trying to keep my face emotionless. Damn it all, why now...

"How long have you been lying to your parents Liz? Lying to me."

Lying? Since forever. Too long ago to recall.

"Don’t play stupid. Dunei told me."

Dunei? Lorraine’s friend?

"You’re a gay bitch."

My body shot up from its frozen state. His face was barely an inch from his. I could feel his breath on my face. Probably not the best idea since there was a gun now pointed at my heart.

"Don’t call me that!" I growled. My voice was malicious, violent even.

"Why shouldn’t I? That’s what you are, isn’t it?"

"Shut up!"

This isn’t happening. It’s a nightmare I’m about to wake up from.

"You love that drunk more than me huh?"

His head inclined up the stairs and towards my room. My eyes jetted upwards, then back to his face.
He knew she was here.

"Lizbet what is he talking about?"

I turned and looked at my father’s face that had slowly become as white as a dry erase board.

"You aren’t a...no, you can’t be..."

"That’s right daddy dear. Your little girl, the princess, isn’t dating me, she’s using me. I’m just a little white lie she’s been stringing along to keep you from finding out her bigger secret."

Lie. My brain screamed at me to lie. But it was too late for another lie. Far too late.
His finger pulled back the trigger. I dropped to my knees with my head between my legs.

Bang! Bang!

Two gun shots ricocheted through the room and stabbed into the air. I screamed and the sound echoed.

My father fell with a sickening thud onto the carpet and his eyes stared vacantly up at the ceiling, a hollow expression of utter disbelief was etched on his face.

"What was that your dad said a minute ago? Nobody’s going to die? I beg to differ."

With shaking fingers I grabbed the gun from my mothers holster and I ran up the stairs.

I slammed the door behind me and twisted the lock. The pounding blasted like drums in my ears.

Slam slam slam.

I threw open the closet- it was empty. But the window was open.

So she ignored me again- good.

"Let me in!"

"Over my dead body!"
A shot fired through my wooden door, an inch from my face. His voice leaked in through the bullet hole.

"That’s the idea sweetheart."

LIE TO ME

*A Year Later*

Chapter one: The moment I said it

"Man...What a day for my race..."

Above, the bleak sky was filling with roiled gray cotton and threatening a fifteenth birthday present from Mother Nature that I would gladly do without. I tilted my head up towards the heavens and I squinted up at the sky hoping for the rain to fall later- anytime but now. 

“Take your places at the starting line!”

A booming voice echoed over the loudspeaker, and I jumped as if it were the sound of God himself yelling down at me to get ready.

“Let’s go Rain! That’s my girl!”

I heard my mom and dad in the stands calling my name, cheering for me. My adrenaline mounted, my heart began to race.

I sucked in my breath focusing on the finish line in my head.

*I can do this...forget the cold, forget the sky...*

Bending my knees into running position, my fingers barley touching the gravel I lifted my head and grinned.

“This is my time to shine.”

BANG!

I heard the shrill sound of the gun shoot into the air and I tore against the floor under feet, my arms pumping, my chest heaving. The rain came pouring unforgiving, like ice on my cheeks seconds after I shot down the track. I saw the spectators in the stands filing out from the corner of my eyes and felt the runners beside me pressing only harder on the pavement. Turning I saw them with their hair plastered on their faces, glaring daggers at me. I ran faster like my bare feet were running over burning coal.
My opponents were gaining on me despite the harsh winds. I forced my eyes to stare straight ahead. I worked too hard to get here; I would not be one-upped by them.
Cold water stung on my legs, like needles grating on my skin as we splashed through the puddles. It was hard to see two feet ahead of me, but I knew the way to the finish line wasn’t far off.

Squinting my eyes I can barely make out the checkerboard design on that banner. I’m in first; just a few feet away it was there, victory at my finger tips.

“Come on Rain!!!! Show them whose faster!”

The familiar voice of my chirpy blue eyed girlfriend made my heart flutter and my legs sped up, battling the rain. She’d made it...

A flash of lightning struck the lamppost just above the finish line, illuminating it like a beacon in the darkness; the sparks flared like pixie dust and fluttered down on us all. It was beautiful and mesmerizing.

My torso struck the black and white banner and I heard firecrackers explode in the air around me. Or maybe it was more lightning, I couldn’t tell, but the shining brightness was enough to dazzle me.

Arms tangled around me, I heard cheers, I saw the familiar faces of my teammates crushing me, and lifting me into the spinning world around me. A blur in all the commotion, I felt myself rise from the ground and my own voice surprised me as laughter tickled out from my throat. A medal was slipped around my neck.

I looked up at the clouds and smiled, thanking the heavens for this single moment, this happiness.

“Ray you did it, you did it!”

I smiled, looking down at my Lizbet, and reached out to the only pair of arms I’d been truly hoping to hold me once I crossed the finish line.

“Yes, Yes WE did Lizzie*”

A tinkling laugh escaped her lips as I kissed her nose.
I loved how she giggled it was pretty, musical in my ears.
I looked down at her, and grinned.

“You made it.”

“Of course I made it! How could I miss your big race? On your birthday no less!”

She handed me a single red rose and I smiled wider. I hugged her again and kissed her full on the lips.

Pure bliss.

I looked up and my eyes were blinded for a millisecond as another bolt struck. In that miniscule instant I saw a pale face, black hair, and charcoal eyes. A boy leaning up against the fence was watching us all, smirking.

“Wha...who was...”

I rubbed my eyes searching for that face, those eyes, but like smoke in thin air he was gone. I wondered if he’d ever been there at all...

“Ah!”

My neck burned without warning and I felt myself fall from my throng of hands.

“What’s wrong? Rain?!”

I winced grabbing onto my neck where the burning sensation was pulsing. I bit my lip ignoring it, this was nothing. No need to get Liz worked up over nothing.

Stabs of pain, they were nothing short of common for me nowadays. When you have a secret disease, hiding pain is something called second nature.

“Nu...nothing Lizzie”

I willed a smile on my face.

“I’m alright, don’t worry about me.”

My fingers wrapped around the single rose she had given me and its frail petals scattered into a puddle of rain. I looked up at her horrified.
I fumbled to pick up the petals and her hand wrapped around my wrist.

“It’s alright you klutz, I love you anyway.”

Smiling, I slipped my hand from her lock and twined my fingers with hers. My hands squeezed hers and though for the moment she was reassured, I saw the concern still lingering in her azure irises.
She parted her lips to say something else, but two more arms appeared before she could get the chance.

“Lorraine sweetie, are you alright?”

My mother’s body slithered past my teammates and onto the muddy ground with us both.

“I’m fine mom, cold and muddy but fine.”

“Let’s get you out of this wet weather, there’s some hot chocolate in the car waiting for you.”

The corners of my lips perked upwards at the thought of warmth.

“Do I get Chocó too? I cheered!”

Liz pleaded her eyes dancing. I chuckled seeing the brightened look in her eyes at something so simplistic as warm chocolate.

“Sure Lizzie. Your part of the family too you know.”

I slapped the palms of my hands together with hers, put one over the other and wiggled my fingers, and then we kissed each other’s thumbs. It was our secret handshake.
Ignoring the falling rain and the screaming, I grabbed her hand and pulled it from the throng of celebrating people. Though I was ecstatic to have won, and I loved the attention, right now, that chocolate was calling my name.

“Come on, I’ll bet mom brought the whip cream and everything.”

“If not I think there’s some in my gram’s car. You know I always come prepared for the unexpected.”

“Sadly, yes. Sometimes I wonder about you Liz, I swear whip cream in the glove compartment...”

“Oh shut it.”

I smiled. Reaching down I splashed her with one of the puddles and she shielded her face giggling. I smiled broader hearing that tinkling laugh.

“Do that again!”

“Do what?”

I splashed her again.

“Giggle!”

I grabbed hold of her arm and twirled her around again and again. I wanted so much just to dance with her, here in the pouring rain, it didn’t matter how wet we got, or how sick we’d be later. I wrapped my arms around her and let her head rest on my chest.

“God Liz…Why must you make me love you so much?”

She just smiled.

“Its fun?”

I poked the side of her ribs smiling and she writhed in my arms. I chuckle and kissed her forehead.

“That’s definitely true. There’s certainly never a dull moment with you around.”

She flipped the medal around my neck in her hands and traced the crevices like a child. It was amazing how the littlest things entertained her.

“So where are going to celebrate?”

My muscles tensed around her and I cursed mentally.

“What’s wrong?”

She pulled back from beneath my arms and I cringed seeing her eyes full of confusion.

“Nothing Liz, its just...I...I can’t tonight. There was kind’ve supposed to be this after party thing with the team-”

The confused look faded into anger and I saw the frown etch itself onto her face.

“Liz before you get mad-”

“That’s all you ever think about isn’t it.”

I saw the brightness in her eyes die. She pushed her hands away from me, and I almost fell into a puddle that was slowly becoming a lake on the gravel.

“Track this; track that, what about me Lorraine?”

She glared at me; a jolt of fear ran up my spine.

“I had tonight planned for months Ray-”

“That’s a little overkill don’t you think.”

Seconds after the words slipped from my lips, I realized how she'd take them. I held my head to my chest ready for the explosion.

“Overkill-overkill! I haven’t seen you in three weeks! I drove here for twelve hours with my grandmother’s clunky Chevy to see you, and you say I’m overkill!”

“Liz it’s just one night- we can go out for dinner or something tomorrow.”

I reached my hand out to her and she pulled her arm away like I was a poison.

“‘One night Liz, one night.’”

She laughed horribly, and it was like it reverberated in the rain.

“Do you know how many times I’ve heard that?”

She scoffed in disgust.

“You promised me today…you promised.”

I saw her lips tremble where her sentence trailed off.

“I came all the way out here to see you...”

She turned and shook her head leaving her words hanging in the air. I didn’t miss the tear that fell from her eyes down her cheek.

“I hate you.”
         
Flipping out her grandmother’s keys she stuck them in the door then into the ignition. She grabbed a box from the front seat and tossed it to me.

“Happy quinceañera.”

I caught it at the last second my fingers almost letting it slip from the condensation on my fingers. The sparkling paper in my hands shimmered, and a card with a picture of the two of us holding hands was on the front. My eyes burned and the tug at my heart was something I could neither control nor escape.

“Liz wait!”

“You love them more Lorraine, let them be your girlfriend.”

Her door slammed, the engine revved, and in seconds she had peeled out of the parking lot and left. I fell to my knees, the salt water stinging at my cuts on my knees. I hadn’t realized I’d cut myself when I fell. It was just a meager pain, nothing compared to the ache in my chest. 

I tore the wrapping paper only to find a ring inside, a heart shaped diamond. I clutched it in the palm of my hand and sobbed reading the words under our picture.

“Te amo lluvia.”
I love you Rain...

The medal around my neck felt like a weight pounding into my chest- a nail being drilled into my heart.
--
--

“Lori! Baby what’s wrong?”

I heard my mom come up behind me and kneel next to me.

“Your eyes are red and blotchy, what hurts hun?”

How is it mothers have the capability to tell when their children are crying? Even in this pouring rain, she could pick out my tears from the tears the clouds made. I would have told her what hurt, but how could I? What could she do to fix an aching heart? I wanted to cry into her shoulder and have her hold me, but I knew the rest of the team was coming, I wasn’t going to let them see me like this.
A heartbroken wreck.

“Nothing mom, I’m fine can we just go home.”

“Honey is something-”

My dad started talking but I cut him short.

“Please!”

I clenched my fist but then let it drop, my voice falling to a whisper.

“Please...”

My voice was begging and I didn’t care. Nothing mattered. Nothing except Lizzie.

My dad’s eyes softened when he heard the twinge in my voice.  I knew he wanted to ask about Lizbet, but he stayed unspoken.

I went around to the front seat and slammed the door. My dad asked no questions, he just tossed me the keys.

Through the whole ride home it was graveyard silent and I was so thankful to the thunder striking in my ears. At least there was something to listen to, something to focus on instead of the guilt riding on my shoulders.

I hated myself for letting those words escape my mouth, for hurting her. I glanced at the mug of hot chocolate sitting in the cup holder, and I clenched my fingers so hard around the wheel, I felt myself bleed, but it didn’t matter. She’d come to see me even though she lived hours away, almost a day away by car.

And I blew it.

Where was she now? Still driving home like I was? Was she still crying?

My chest throbbed at the thought and I fiddled with the ring on my left hand. The finger where my wedding ring should be.

“I’ll apologize later...if she’ll ever talk to me that is...”

I grabbed the rubber band on my wrist and snapped it tight, repeatedly. I winced at the stinging sensation on my wrist. I ignored the pain, and just focused on each thunderbolt as it came down. I willed them to strike, made them dance outside my window for me.

Stupid.

Stupid stupid stupid! How could I have even brought the damn party up? I should have gone with her! It didn't matter if it was even takeout at McDonalds- it would have been a five star restaurant with her. It wasn't worth it. She was worth so much more.

*I hate you.*

I grinded my teeth together and a sudden torrent of anger overcame my senses.

Stop. Reverse. Throttle. Drive.

Screw it. Screw her.

"Honey where are we-?"

"We're making a little detour mom. I've got a party to attend."

Chapter two: Forever

The water pelted down onto the glass. My wipers furiously shoved away the water from the glass splattering onto another section of the windshield. Back and forth back and forth. In this darkness even with my high beams I didn’t dare make my speedometer read over twenty miles an hour. My nails clutching the steering wheel I struggled to read the green sign a few feet ahead of me.
Exit highway 90. 5 miles.
The little orange light flashed nest to my gas reading. Then came the annoying chime that confirmed I was out of gas.
Perfect. Freakin perfect, just what I need.
I took a sharp left turn on the exit at the last second and drove until I saw the glow of a shell gas station. I pulled into the parking lot filled by my car solely and a beat up truck to the right of my grandma’s Chevy.
I shoved the car into park and pulled the keys from the ignition. The splashed licked at my heels the moment I stepped out of the car.

God, must it rain cats and dogs?

I grabbed gram’s umbrella from the passenger seat and pressed the button for it to pop open.

Nothing happened.

I pressed it a few more times until I just broke a nail making my finger bleed.
I swore tossing it to the backseat.

“Holy- Irmhm....”

I slipped the finger in my mouth to staunch the bleeding.
The tinkling ring of the gas station doors penetrated my hearing as I sloshed inside. I shook my head and rung out my hair.

Life sucks. But what else is new?

Standing behind the register a tall gangly teenager glanced over at me as I shut the door behind me. Black charcoal hair and a smirk ornamented his face. That haughty look irritated me. I ground my eyes to his face. Somehow, he was familiar…
I looked down at the little tag on his shirt- but it was blank.
What he was too good for a name?

I handed him the little receipt the machine outside had spit out at me for the gas and dropped a twenty dollar bill on the counter. While he picked out my change I let my mind wander. How had I gotten myself stuck out here in the middle of nowhere? Crying my bloody eyes out over my best friend. My girlfriend.
*After everything I’ve done to be with her.*

I grabbed a candy bar from the rack, my favorite, Hershey’s white chocolate cookies and cream. Comfort food, when I most needed it. I’d never gotten my hot chocolate, so this would do.

“Here, just keep the change. I don’t need it.”

“What’s wrong kitten?”

I ignored him, tore open the wrapper, and took a bite of the sweet chocolate.

“What does it matter to you? You don’t really give a damn.”

I placed my hand on the door handle and started to walk out. As if by some miracle he was suddenly at the door next to me.

I stared back at him, ogling. How had he gotten over the counter so quickly? He smiled down at me and I noticed our height difference was massive. He had to be at least six foot.

“You’d be surprised. Love problems right?”

“No!”

That retort came out on its own. I didn’t think, I just answered. I bit back my lip and scolded myself for having released my weakness.

The grin on his face sharpened. His arm thrust in my path, my only way out.

“Liars don’t make it to heaven you know.”

I flinched hearing that word.
Liar.

I can’t help it: Lying is in my blood. I’m a pathological liar. Hell, there is no place in heaven for me anyways.
Not with the blood on my hands.

“Who’s lying?”

His smirk got bigger and he moved his barricade from my path.

“Thanks…”

I high tailed it to my car and scrambled inside, the creepiness he’d just emanated scared me. Starting the car I backed out of the driveway and looked in my mirror. Two charcoal eyes stared back at me, two eyes that will forever torment me until the day I die. I wanted to let out a blood curling scream something so agonizingly shrill, even an xxx-rated horror movie would look childish in comparison. My throat was silent though, like some invisible remote had pressed mute and shut my vocal cords on off.

“I really hate liars.”

That grin will haunt in me for eternity; those words infinitesimally engraved in my brain.
Suddenly I know his face, his eyes.
All thanks to those words.
Elliot.
But how can that be? It’s impossible, Elliot…
Elliot died a year ago.

His fingers trailed down my cheek and I thought I was going to die too, be killed by this pale faced devil.

“You’re going to lose her. If you don’t find her, before I do...”

His smirk turned deadly, sinister.

“She’s going to disappear forever.”

Chapter Three: Remember me

A flash of sound blasts in my ears.

The swirling world around me was made me feel as if I were zooming into a movie. I felt myself laughing and swaying to the music, though I had no control over it. I threw my head back and let down my hair. I swung it from one side to another and reveled in the freedom I had not had five minutes before.

*Lizbet*

I shook my head violently to shake away the thoughts of her.

No. This was my time to let her go. To force her, and the team, and my parents out. Here nobody expected anything of me; I could float in absolute bliss. Beer. I need beer. Lots of alcohol to drown out everything else.

I grabbed a frothing drink from the hands of a half drunk girl and I swallowed it down in one gulp. My hips bounced from one side to another, grinding against the nearest body I saw. I took a good look at my dance partner and smiled seeing who it was.

It was my classmate Dunei. She came to parties like these often too. She knew how to just go with the flow. But I hadn’t seen her at any parties lately...Not since...

Why did that nagging feeling at the back of my mind keep yelling warning signals at me? Its booze...must be the booze...

"This is the life huh Rain?"

She was pressed up against me, booze sloshing onto her white shirt and gallantly showed her perky chest. The smile on her face was radiant and maniacal all at once.

"You say can that again Dooneh."

My words were slurred and out of structure. I couldn’t even say her name right.

The music pulsed around me, vibrating under my skin. The strobe lights flashed around me, making my movements like a slideshow of pictures. Laughter tickled out of my throat. It became demonic, almost out of control. My legs began to burn. My stomach started to churn. A whirlpool of motions inside of me...

I threw my head to the side, stumbling to the nearest potted plant. The prickly green fern scraped at my face and the bile reached up into my throat. I tasted the booze and my breakfast force through my pipes and in the wrong direction. It stuck to my tongue and the corners of my face, I was sweating bullets. The contents of my stomach spilled out of me and the flavor lingered. It stung as I breathe in and the icy bitterness forces me to hold my breath. I’ll throw up again if I don’t make this world stop spinning.

I stumble through the crowd and try to force my way through the door but I’m thrown to the ground amongst the shoes pounding around on the dance floor. I can’t move, my arms are binded at my sides. The dancing is too intense. The bodies around me become constricting, suffocating. I’m being swallowed by the bodies, closed up until there are purple and blue lights swirling around in my vision. The darkness eats me to the core.

I try and shove myself upward, out of the mass, but my arms won’t budge. My hands grip at my sides, but my shoulders are immobile. I’m trapped under the noise. There’s a piercing grinding, it sounds like metal. Crushing metal. I’m caged in an abyss far too intricate for me to escape.

Ssssshhhhh.....

What?

What’s that sound? I strain my ears to listen, to hear it over the pounding music, the grinding metal, and the sirens blaring....

A slight movement frees up my hand and I wrench my arm out from the prison. The skin tears off my arm, weak flesh that easily rips off and leaves me in an agonizing stupor. I scream and the cry echoes around me.

"Lizbet!" I scream her name, begging for escape.

Something soft and silky slips through my fingers as I reach into the darkness. There are wisps of light seeping in through the cracks of my jail and I grab for them. Silk slides through my fingers, a foreign entity I can’t quite place a name to. Petals? Flower petals?

No. Feathers.

Angel feathers.

"Stop it!"

I command exploded from my lungs. The sound of my own piercing yell threw me violently back into the real world, where I was covered in grime. Hovering above my body Dunei was gently shaking me. Trying to pull me from my unbalanced state of mind no doubt.

"Are you alright Rain?"

"I...I dunno..."

"Where’s your cell? Here I’ll call your parents..."

"I’m fine..."

"Sure you are." Her attention turned back to the phone as someone, probably my dad, picked up the phone.

"Hi, Mr. Rosen? The party’s just about over, Lorraine is in the bathroom, but she wanted me to call you and let you know she was ready to go."

"What’re you tawkin’ bout? I don’ wanna go Doonie!"

She hastily covered the mouthpiece with her hand.

"Yes...yes sir. Fifteen minutes? Alright I’ll have her wait with her outside. Yes, your welcome, Bye."

She snapped my cell shut and shoved it into my pocket.

"There. I’ve done my job..."

"Wah’s that Doo?"

She smiled and shook her head.

"Nothing Ray, nothing at all."

She smiled a half smile and stood to go.

"Thanks Dunieh..."

"Don’t thank me." Her facial expression changed from lighthearted to pained.
"Really. Don’t."

I caught one last glimpse of her through my drooping eyelids as she got up, walked away, and left me on the front porch, sprawled in a rocking chair. The rain poured heavily and splashed onto my feet. May it wash away my sins...

I closed my eyes, and down came the black unfeeling abyss I longed for.

----
----

"Lorraine? Honey?"

"Wah..."

My neck ached and throbbed unbearably. Awesome. A hangover from Hell.
I lifted my heavy eyelids and a blurred face began to unfold in front of me.

"Sweetie, wake up."

My mother’s round face and brown bobbed haircut swam into my vision and the fog blurred away.

"OH! Mom! Sorry I musta...musta fallen asleep..."

I rubbed both of my eyes with my knuckles and yawned widely, forgetting to cover my mouth.

"Wait, what are you doing here? How long’ve I been out?"

"Not very. We just got here. Your friend, um...”

"Dunei?"

"Yes, her. She called us earlier and said to come get you."

"Oh." I struggled to remember what lie she had made up in my foggy brain.

"Yeah I was um, "

"In the bathroom. She told us."

"Right." Smooth. Real smooth.

"Well come on sport, lets get going." My dad said, popping up from his heels and patting me on the shoulder. He whipped out his keys and headed for the drivers seat.

"Um, hey. You mind if I drive dad?"

I nodded towards the keys in his hand and he looked down at them too. Then at mom.

"Oh, come on, you guys trust me right?"

I walked over and gently pried the keys from his fingertips.

I don’t know if the way my body swayed gave it way, or if it was my smell, but I was definitely not fit to drive. Not even close.

"Come on mom, your chariot awaits."

Your chariot...or your screaming metal death trap. Whichever you prefer.

The silence in the car was infinitesimally loud.

The silence began to let the memories start flooding in again. The alcohol was beginning to fade, and in came the pain.

Stop. Forward. Gas. Drive.
The wind tore at my hair and wrenched it backwards, leaving it in some horrific disarray. This wasn’t fast enough. Pushing a hundred still wasn’t fast enough for my body. The slick road made the car wobble ominously from one side to another on the road but I paid no attention to it. I also ignored my mother who began to plead for me to slow the car. I needed the speed; the danger to me seemed obsolete and unimportant. Only drowning out the look on her face and the three worlds that began floating in my mind meant anything to me.

*I. Hate. You.*

My throat made some terrible kind of strangled cry and my hand grabbed at the medal hanging from around my neck. My hands left the wheel and half my body was suddenly out the window chucking it as far as I could make it fly.

"LORRAINE!"

My mom grabbed hold of my shirt and kept me from, flying out of the car and becoming an unsightly decoration to the road. Dad grabbed hold of the wheel, but with my body in the way, he was blind. There was a sudden blast that pierced though the numb nothingness and echoed in my ears. A truck’s horn...

I turned and saw the headlights before I ever felt the impact. My eyes flew open like deer in headlights.

“DADDY! WATCH-”

I heard my mother shout out too. I felt her yank me inside before the collision sliced me in half. I saw my father twist the wheel with all the force he could muster, and the sound of screeching breaks. The wheels gritting against the sidewalk, and the smell of burning rubber and bark was so piercing, that aside from the pouring rain, I doubt anything can ever have been as deafening.

And then there was flame. Orange sparks of light dancing around us in a ring of fire.

The world seemed to have paused, gone in slow motion. No matter how he had turned that wheel, no matter how fast, I knew those flames would crush us all. I squeezed my mother’s hand, and kissed my ring.

“I’m sorry...Lizbet.”

Chapter four: Sanction liar

I forced open my eyes tried to make them tell me where I was, why I hurt in so many places.
But it was dark, so unbelievably dark.
I want to cry this feeling is so bad, I want to die.
I felt the wetness dripping down my face something far warmer than the cool rain hitting my cheeks and washing away my tears. I licked my lips and tasted the iron.
I knew what the dampness on my chest was too, warm and painful, it was crimson...it was blood.

“...We have to...out! Car...explode!”

I hear voices now too, yelling, the sound of feet running...
What had they said? A car? An explosion? Is that where I am, a car?
I couldn’t call them but they’d find me. They’d find mother, and father.
I opened my mouth to scream, to make them hear me, those voices. To call my mother, to call Lizbet, Dad, that boy with his smirk, anyone...
But like a smothered candle flame, my voice was broken too, fading. Like smoke.
I sniffed the air smelling just that.
Smoke.
The smell of something burning...gas maybe, and salt. I heard metal breaking; I felt the walls around me shaking, as if something was tearing at my prison chamber.
Light was starting to seep through the cracks of the darkness. I felt my arms get loosened just slightly from my metal chains. I yanked them free but cried out in agony. It hurt so much to move, oh God it hurt!

“Someone’s alive inside! The doors won’t budge! Get the ja...”

I heard them outside, those angels or devils I couldn’t tell which, but then did it matter? They’d take me from this darkness whoever they were.
My fingers felt around trying to find a handle, an exit, but instead my fingers met another piece of skin.
A hand.
It was big and rough, much unlike my own small and petite hand.
My father, I’d found him.

“Dad...dad I-I’m hee...uhr dad.”
         I struggled to get out those words, my voice croaking like I’d swallowed glass. It felt like glass had cut into my throat too.
I clutched it- but nothing replied. I felt the tears flowing down my face harder and faster.

“Da...Daddy...”

I wiggled my fingers in his coaxing them to move, to twitch, anything.

“Daddy please...”

I remembered then how familiar those words were, the last thing I told him, I’d been begging him.
Please.
Please Please Please Please.

The light finally tore through the darkness and I turned away from my dad not wanting to see him because I knew.
He wasn’t waking up.

Daddy never ignored me; daddy was always there for me. So now that he had, I knew it was only because he had no way of reaching me.

What about my mother? Where was she? I’d never found her. My hand was holding hers wasn’t it? Then why wasn’t I just now?

There’s so much commotion, so much movement, I want to just have time stand still again. I want my dad back, I want my mom back.
I want my life back.

I collapsed into the arms of the firefighter, catching a glimpse at the Jaws of Life. I scoffed at the irony. Those jaws didn’t save him, they hadn’t saved me, I’m dead too.

“Its going to be alright! Can you hear me?”

Like a droning echo I heard the voice of the face in front of me wearing a mask. Ok? Its not ok, you liar...its never going to be ok again. You took him away, you took my dad away. Now I’ll never get to see him smile again.
I can feel myself being lifted again by so many hands. I almost feel like I’m being cheered for again. I’m delusional for a minute, I almost except to see Liz come run through the crowd and hug me again, remind me that we’re still best friends.
Liz.
Lizzie, I have to see my Lizzie again, is she still crying?

I feel myself being laid onto a bed, but now instead of feeling safe in a crowd of friends, of angels, I feel more like I’m being tied down again by chains.
My eyes wander mindlessly and I see a white sheet being soaked by the rain, and a hand sticking out from underneath. My heart skipped a beat seeing the glint of a diamond wedding ring on one finger.

Mom.

I hold my breath. There’s no point, why keep breathing? Why keep living? Its not fair they can’t leave me.
No, I can’t abandon them like this.

“She’s not breathing!”

There’s far too much movement around me, the world should cease shifting.
Wires are attaching themselves to me and I fight them, I flail against them. I know those wires, those needles, mean life.

“I need a tranquilizer, now!”

Beeping, flashing, sirens blaring, people crying, walkie talkies, metal grinding, smoke, aching, unending aching.
Stop.
Stop stop stop.

A mask is strapped onto my face, cold air pumping in and out; I feel it being forced into my bleeding lungs. Can’t they see that I don’t want air? That it hurts me to breathe?

“Let me die...let me die...”

A stabbing pain plunges into my arms, an anesthetic.

“It’ll be alright now, just rest...”

My mind flashes to my motionless father, to the wedding ring underneath that pearl sheet, to the diamond heart on my hand.

“I told you already didn’t I...”

Through the haze in my brain I saw the flames envelope our car, saw the onlookers cover their faces from the scorching heat.

“Stop lying to me...”

Fireballs rained.

“Its never going to be ok...again.”

Chapter five: Run Liar Run

Three days I’ve been searching.
Three days I’ve found nothing.
I’ve called her, driven to her home, searched at her school, why is it so impossible to find her?
I bit my nails ignoring the nagging voice in my head. I knew it was a bad habit to bite my nails in my distress.
Lorraine...where was my Rain?

“You’re going to lose her. If you don’t find her, before I do...She’s going to disappear forever.”

That warning keeps playing in my head, screaming in my brain like a broken record again and again.
The threat was sounding more and more like a promise every time.

Looking to my mirror I glanced at the empty seat behind me I shuddered. There was no use trying to escape it, no matter where I ran, no matter how well I’d hide, those eyes would find me.
He’d find me, he’d destroy me.
Because I was a liar.

What truly scared me...
Is that he would find my Rain too.

Where can I search next, the field where her race had been? It seemed so unlikely but…
Shifting on the radio I listened to the buzzing of static until I got a news channel.

“….Tragic accident on highway 90….”

My eyebrows arched thinking of how I might want to take another route, there might be a traffic jam. I turned the little dial to make it louder. Trying to pick out the words from the static was a task in and of itself.

“…A fiery death occurred three days ago on East bridge road… car was crushed by a tree struck by lightning......three passengers inside….”

My heart plummeted hearing the words; I drove the car off onto the side of the road screeching it to a halt.
Three days ago, three passengers...it couldn’t be, no...

“...Two have been pronounced dead at the scene of the accident…The condition of the third passenger...teenage girl…unknown...”

A teenage girl? I probed at every possible excuse in my brain for it not to be true. It’s too much of a coincidence. No, not my Rain.
Please God don’t let him have found her, don’t let me lose her now.

“She’s going to disappear forever.”

I slammed my foot on the accelerator and pounded my way through the unforgiving waters. I had to find her; I had to find her now.
I blasted the Radio listening for anything that would help be go to her, willing the whereabouts of my best friend out.

“...She is currently being hospitalized…Crimson hospital for her injuries...”

I snapped the volume off and thrust the wheel to the side, nearly missing the exit by inches.

“Wait for me Rain. Don’t leave me. I’m coming.”

Chapter six : Just Memories

Beep. Beep. Beep…

What in God’s name is that irritating sound?
My eyelids feel heavy like I have pebbles on them, holding them down.
Ugh...my head is throbbing. It feels like a dumbbell has been thrown full force into my skull.

I forced open my eyelids and white blinded me.
White.
White, white, white, white.

I blinked trying to make the blue dots swirling around my head disappear. A groan escaped my lips as I rolled my head from one side to another.

“Ugh...where am…?”

My voice sounded gravely, like I’d just eaten nails.
I feel dizzy, impaired.
There’s something in my hand I wonder what it is…
A button?
A big red button amongst all the white.

“Help” it says under it.
I trace my fingers on the words and see the bandages covering my arms, my fingers. Tearing off the white sheets I see the bandages covering my chest, where it feels like there’s been a whole ripped into my heart.

“How, how did I end up…?”

I slammed my hand down on the button realizing how hopelessly lost I was, how vulnerable I felt. I placed my other bandaged hand over my mouth and nose, the reeking smell of medicine thrived in this air.
Seconds later a woman dressed in white walked in, a hat with a little red cross on her head, and a fake smile plastered on her face. I sat upright in a flash and cringed seeing yet another mistake. Too much movement caused pain.

“So you’re awake.”

“How long have I been out?”

“Not too long, just a few days.”

“A few...”

My fingers clenched the bedspread, my voice fissuring in my throat.

“Days?”

I searched for something, anything familiar, but everything was foreign to my eyes.

“Who...am I?”

Why couldn’t I remember anything? Why?
Why, why, why?
She shook her head.
So I don’t have a name?

“What happened, why am I here? Where IS here?”

She looked at me strangely as if I had a horn growing out of my head.

“You’re in Crimson Hospital.”

Her eyes turned soft and remorseful.

“You were...In an accident.”

Accident? A car accident?
I looked down at my broken hands and beaten body; I saw the ring on my finger. My eyes scanned the room all but empty; there were no beds beside me. The only other living creature in the room was the woman in front of me.

“Was I driving...? Were there others?"

I shot out questions, my cracking voice rising, panicking. Who else had I hurt, broken...
Who else had I killed?

Her voice was silent but her head nodded once her fingers twiddling in front of her, like she had something to tell me but it was going to kill her to tell me.

"D-did anyone other than me sur...survive...?”

The blood drained from my face. The simplest answer for the last one.

'Did anyone else survive?'

No.

“Who...who was in the car with me?”

“...Your parents.”

No!

I felt water stream down my cheeks, salt and blood mixing.
I’d killed my family.
I looked back at her and saw the tears in her eyes too. I half expected her to pull a pair of cuffs from behind her; I expected to hear sirens and walkie talkies. But instead I saw tears. Was she crying for me?
Was it because I was an orphan now?
I didn’t want to see that look.
Pity.

“I don’t...need your help.”

I swung my tapered legs over the bed wincing as the cuts and bruises under the band aids burned.

“What are you-?”

“I’m going.”

“What? No, you can’t go; you’re in no condition-”

I searched under the bed until I found a pair of torn shoes, a bloody shirt, and shorts. They must have been mine, what I had been wearing in the crash. I cringed at the racid smell but even still, I let the white veil covering me drop to the floor, ignoring the presence of the nurse, and slipped the soiled clothes on instead.

“You have to lie back down; your injuries aren’t healed-”

I grabbed hold of the scalpel lying next to my bed and held it to my throat. I heard her breath hitch the moment the blade touched my skin.

“I was never here. I never checked in. As far as anyone knows, I died in that accident.”

She looked hesitant, her fingers twitching in her palms. I pressed the blade slightly, just hard enough to draw blood.

“I was never here.”

She closed her eyes and nodded. I watched her walk slowly over to the window and stare out at the sky.

It was raining.
My mind flashed to a motionless hand in mine, to a wedding ring underneath a pearl sheet, to the heart on my hand.

The scalpel dropped to the floor, clattering as my mind detonated into pure agony. My eyes burned, and the tug at my heart was something I could neither control nor escape.

I ran forcing my screaming legs to move not looking back. I shoved past the doctors in the halls. I heard the woman behind me say something about escape, about the rain.

Slipping and falling to the floor once, my wounds cried out louder, begging me to stop running. I stood and crashed through the glass door and out into a black street, the falling tears beating down on me and soaking me. Cars flashed around me the sound of beeping horns only further driving my agony.
I was running blindly in rain with no sense of direction, no destination, just blind pain. I ran, and I ran, my chest heaving until my legs gave out underneath me and I tasted gravel between my teeth.
I looked up at the rain and let it hit my face, I was so numb, and yet aching so much. My parents are dead...I’m an orphan; I can’t remember anything, not even my own name. I looked down at the blood on my shirt and sobbed.

I caused this, all of it.

I punched the floor releasing my frustration and regretted it immediately, feeling the flood of sharp pain in my hand.

Shaking my hand I forced myself to crawl under shelter, to get out of the rain that was slowly drowning me.
If I were to just lie here, to die here, nothing would change.
The sound of cars whooshing over my head tormented me. The bridge above felt suffocating, the wheels on the road killing me softly. Burying my face in my arms I welcomed the silence and tried to slip into my unfeeling dreams, praying that maybe I’d wake up and this will all have been a nightmare, not my reality.




Chapter Seven: Angels in the alleyway

I watched as she ran through the rain, as she fought Mother Nature through the thin glass window.

“Poor little Lorraine…”

“She can’t remember anything can she?”

I turned seeing my black haired angel walk into the room, that same smirk on his face, his charcoal hair covering his eyes. I shook my head and removed the little white hat with its red cross.

A nurse of all things- that is what I’m disguised as? Elliot you have one sick sense of humor. You could not have chosen a more fitting face for a girl who died for you through an overdose.

“No? I’m surprised Dunei; You really failed to mention you were the truck driver. You always were too soft.”
He chuckled, the corners of his lips twitching upwards in amusement.

“I said I would erase her memories Elliot. I’m a woman of my word.”

“At least someone is.”

My eyes broadened hearing those words.

“So that’s what this is about Elliot! You want revenge. Killing her will do nothing. Do you really think that by destroying her family you are helping your case any? Jehovah is already on a thin rope with you Elliot; do you want to permanently become one of the fallen?”

“Me? No, never.”

His grin twisted upwards, his sparkling canine teeth bared.

“Besides, she’s not the reason I’m dead Dunei.”

My eyebrows rooted themselves to my forehead hearing his words. That was news to me.

“What? Then why did you ask me to-”

“Her girlfriend is.”

He stunned me to silence. He was going to destroy her in the same manner she destroyed him.
Through her heart.

“That girl, my killer, what she needs...”

I saw his lips twitch up into a leering smile, his eyes glinted deviously.

“...is divine intervention.”

My face fell; I hated how he always did this, toyed with the hearts of mortals. I bit my tongue. I hated it, but how could I chastise a former Throne? A missionary judgment angel. He was on God’s mission. Whatever means necessary were taken.

“I did my part of the dirty work. Where...have you been brother?”

I looked him in the eyes, scrutinizing him.
In a second he was sitting on the bed removing his shirt. Underneath, the single bullet hole remained in his chest, directly over his heart.

“Ah, I’ve been…catching up with an old friend.”

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his blackened locks, sweat and rain dripping from them regally, in a way only an angel can have done. I walked over to him seeing the defeated look in his eyes, and watched as he rubbed his shoulder. How painful it must be for him, to fly with his broken wings. I put my fingers lightly against his back and traced the markings on his bare skin, the scars that lined into a pair of amethyst wings.

An old friend? The truth. I demand it.

I kissed his neck sweetly and his shoulders slackened.
How strange for me to have fallen for a fallen angel.



He kissed my wrist sweetly sending shivers up my spine. The feeling was short lived as another emotion flowed through me.

Anger.

He was lying to me, whose heart had he messed with now?

My fingers slid through his feathers and I released my own ashen plumes and mixed them with his.

A speeding car slipped into my mind, teary blue eyes, and the sound of falling rain flooded into me the moment my wings touched his. And there was fire, burning flame amidst the sound of crushing metal. Then there was her face. I knew it.

His hand grabbed mine and like a shock wave had blasted me, I was hurled backwards and with a sickening crunch I heard my spine snap as it slammed into the wall.
I gritted my teeth together as the pain slowly dulled into an annoying ache, like a crick in my neck. The bones had re-grown in an instant. The perks of being immortal really were infinite.

“Get out of my head Dunei!”

His eyes were full of fury now, for reading his heart. Only the fourth ranked angel, a Dominion, could read the memories of others- in other words me. I am God’s personal time turner.

“What...ah!”

His face was an inch from mine in an instant; my wrists became pinned to the crumbling wall. I winced feeling the nails sink into the fleshy human skin on my arms, but the pain slowly disappeared as my wound healed before me. He glared, his eyes piercing my own. I stared back unblinking.

“What are you hiding from me Elliot? I thought you hated liars.”

He flinched hearing the malice in my voice. How rarely did my voice ever rise above a whisper.

“What judgment have you placed?”

My voice was a hiss now, cruel like a snake.
His lips parted, but no sound escaped. He shoved me deeper into the wall, the crevice widening.

“You’ll see soon enough...”

He kissed my forehead and before I had the chance to blink he was gone.

“What...what do you mean? Elliot!”

I swore, frustrated again.
There are too many secrets among angels.
Placing my hand on the wall the pebbles assembled themselves again. It was the same as my memory of it; flat, unbroken.

Seconds later I felt the presence of a human heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird. The pungent smell of tears and overwhelming anxiety emitted from the same human.
Cursing Elliot, I knew I’d found my answer.
I closed my eyes and fell to my knees retracting my wings once more.

Heaven help me.

Chapter Eight: Little white lie

The rain pounded down on me on these blackened roads. Seeing through my tears was hard enough, why was it mother nature hated me so much?

I saw the sign for it in big bold red letters.

CRIMSON HOSPITAL

I parked in the spot closest to the front door, ignoring the handicap sign and the blue paint beneath the car.
The sliding doors opened for me but not fast enough.
I grabbed hold of the door and shoved it open.
The front desk, I had to find out what room she was.

“Hi may I help you?”

The receptionist smiled up at me sweetly and I wanted to choke her, what was there to smile about?

“Lorraine. Lorraine Rosen, what room number is she in?”

“Let me find out…”

She clicked on the screen, and the light haloed her face.

“I’m sorry, there doesn’t seem to be a Rosen in my system.”

My temper flared.

“What do you mean she’s not there? Of course she is!”

“There isn’t any record-”

“She was admitted three days ago, the accident on highway 90.”

My words came out slurred, rushed. My heart was beating a million miles per beat, like the wings of a hummingbird.

“Oh! So you’re with her.”

My heart swelled. Thank heaven, so she was still here.

“What room is she in? I need to see her right away!”

She clicked on the screen again and the numbers popped up, but then closed again.
I wanted to bite her.

“What room?”

“I’m sorry miss, what relation do you have to that girl?”

That did it!
I jumped up on the counter and reached over to the mouse. My arm reached out to grab it and as my hand hovered over the mouse, inches away a hand grabbed my wrist. Someone behind me whispered into my ear and my heart skipped a fluttering beat.

“Why so hasty kitten?”

I froze. That voice…
I pulled his arm over the counter flipping him. I knew who he was, no need to look. If he was here then I might be too late.
My eyes flicked to the screen as the receptionist jumped back avoiding the bodyas it flew over the counter, smashing into the glass framework and shattering it.

Room 97, tenth floor

*The Ten Commandments, the nine ranks of angels, and the seven deadly sins.*

How ironic.

I jumped down and bolted, tears flying into the elevator. I pressed the buttons furiously.
Close, close!
I saw the disgruntled face of my attacker and again my heart sank.
That face wasn’t his.
Shit.

“Hey stop!”

I saw police rounding the corner, security most likely.
Close, God close!
An instant before they reached the elevator doors they shut. Their strangled fury filled cries as the elevator door shut in their faces made me let out a sigh of relief. Finally, something has gone right. I watched the numbers flash one by one until it reached the tenth floor.

“I’m coming Rain, wait for me.”

Chapter nine: Desperate

Drip drop drip drop
A single drop of water kept falling repeatedly on my forehead straight between my eyebrows. The water slid down the bridge of my nose, then formed a little puddle on my chest. Its annoying and yet...its comforting. I can count them and know they are coming.
1234567....drop.
1234567...drip.

I shifted my back onto the wall gently. This ache in my back is almost unbearable.
Tires screeching, a woman screaming, my heartbeat beating.

“Stop it!”

I clamped my hands over my ears and dug my fingers into my hair.
I want the sirens to stop blaring in my ears and the fire to stop burning…
I clasped my fingers together begging, maybe praying. I can’t remember if there even is a God. Is there even a reason to keep believing?
Look at me now, where I am crying and alone.
Please, I just need someone, anyone to take this pain away. Make somebody lay their hands on my soul tonight.
I looked down at my hand, at the sparkling heart, and I wondered, who had I married? And so young?

Three days.

Surely someone should have come looking for me by now?
Clenching my fist I wiped away the tears that were conquering my eyes. This emptiness, I wonder if a heart is supposed to hurt this much?
I’m alone, who cares about my past life.
I pressed my head into my arms again then noticed the little band on my wrist. I grabbed onto it and felt it snap on my tender skin. It stung but it helped, the rest of me didn’t hurt as much.
How pathetic.
I need love, I know I do.
I’m desperate.

“Honey don’t do that.”

I congealed hearing those words, and that voice, but relaxed again. It was fragile, tender. Not the rough voice of an officer I was still expecting. I lifted my eyes and peeked through my bangs and my eyes met azure. Warm and loving, the wrinkled face of an old woman peered down at me from under an umbrella.

“Sweetie why are you lying there?”

I looked down at myself covered in rain water and mud, bloody, and simply broken.

“You’re a right mess aren’t you…tsk tsk.”

Her fingers reached down and moved the hair from my eyes. I flinched backwards the minute she got close.

“Dearie, its alright. I’m not going to hurt you.”

She didn’t scare me, she wouldn’t harm me...
I was scared to hurt her.

“Stay away.”

Her hand faltered pulling back slightly as I clamored around the cement pole holding up the bridge.

“Hehe, afraid of old Grammy. Come here my dear, don’t be shy.”

I peered from behind my shelter at the withered hand she extended, then at her eyes. I’m not sure why it is my hand took hers, why my feet moved towards her without my consent or command. But that laugh, and those eyes, I felt I should trust those eyes.
I put my faith in the eyes of an angel.
The answer to my prayers.

Maybe...just maybe, there is a God.

My feet fell into step with hers and I did my best to ignore the stares. What a pair we must look like. A nice old lady walking in the rain with a wrecked porcelain doll like me.

“I’m sorry we’ll have to walk a bit before we get home. My granddaughter borrowed my car to watch her friend’s match. I was going to drive her that silly girl, but she was in such a rush…”

Home?

My eyebrows arched and my fingers flexed on the umbrella.

“Yes, my dear.”

She reached over and took my head in her tiny hand, then kissed my forehead.

“You’re a part of my family now.”

As helpless and brittle as my ruptured heart seemed, I let her in. The familiar smile and affection, I welcomed it. it too was familiar. For familiarity, I’m desperate.

“I’m sure...”

She paused and looked up at the sky that finally had ceased crying. The sun crept out from behind the slowly dispersing grey.

“You will love my grandbaby Lizbet too.”
--
--

I watched as she took her hand.
Standing atop the bridge cars passed me by, yet not one seemed to see me. It was nice being an angel- nobody noticed your existence.

Unless of course, I forced them to.

My face changed from the Doctor's whose identity I'd stolen earlier. I listened to the pieces of glass pop out of my slowly healing skin; like rainfall they tinkled.

“What a turn of events. This could cause me problems, and yet...it could be the biggest advantage I have now.”

What fun this will be.

I smiled remembering the last time I hunted her down.

"There's nowhere to run Lizzie. Nowhere to hide."

I smiled and made her inch backwards until she was just teetering on the edge of the bridge. Below the water churned, ready to swallow her whole.

"Stay back! Stay away from me!"

Her hands shook violently and her finger rested on the trigger of her gun and she gripped it with both hands.

"I'll shoot you!"

I threw my head back and luaghed uproarously.

"Do you really think I'm afraid of that gun? Do you really think I'm scared of dying?"

Her eyes were as wide as baseballs and she was so pale she might as well have already been dead.

"So now you choose Lizzie. How do you want to die?"

I pointed behind her, then lifted the gun to her face.

"Which will it be Lizzie?"

Bang.

I blew a single black feather into the air and saw it land in front of Lorraine. She lifted it curiously, like a child at the age of three.
I chuckled placing the rook forward two pieces, next to my opponent’s pawn.
Let the games begin.

Chapter Ten: Throb

Ding.
I bolted from the elevator.
My Rain was here, she was waiting for me.
90...94...97!
I skidded to a stop on the cold tile floor. I heard the guards yelling behind me.

"Stop that brat!"

My eyes landed on the number and I was suddenly shaking.
Uncontrollably.

I peered inside and one solitary body was inside the room.

“Where...”

I looked up at the face of the nurse slowly folding bloody sheets.
Please...don’t let that blood be...

“Wh...where’s Lorraine?”

Her pale eyes turned and glanced at me full of hatred.
Why is it that this woman was glaring at me?

“Who?”

Even that one word was like ice. My insides froze over. The arctic malice in her voice numbed me.

“L-Lorraine Rosen.”

The frown on her face twisted into a cynical smile.

“I’m sorry...if you mean the girl from the accident I’m afraid you’re too late.”

“What, what do you mean too late?”

“I mean, she’s dead.”

My heart stopped.
No.

“Liar!”

“Call me what you want. She’s gone.”

She paused picking up the scalpel from the floor, red dripping from the end.

“And she’s not coming back.”

“She’s not dead! She can’t be!”

“Ha. Let me guess? You’re Lizbet...”

She took the scalpel and stabbed it into the bedspread and slowly walked towards me- It felt like that blade had stabbed me in my heart.

"She can’t be..."

I swallowed and the saliva felt like sandpaper in my throat. My voice broke.

“Wha-at did you say?”

“The girl who had been lying in this bed died from injuries in the crash. She died saying that name over and over again...”

Dead.
Lorraine is dead.

Throb.

“Ah...ah I can’t...”

My throat is closing up. My airway is so tight- I'm going to die.

"Lizbet, Lizbet, Lizbet."

Tears flowed down my cheeks, the air left me.
Throb.

“You’re the reason she’s dead.”

I lifted my eyes to the nurse and saw through my clouded eyes- her eyes blazed red. Maybe it was my mind destroying me, but I know they did. It terrified me. I was losing my mind.
I grasped onto the walls and crawled toward her on my hands and knees.

“Please stop...stop lying to me.”

I grasped at the hem of her dress I pled, I begged.
Please don’t let my love be dead.

“Get off me!”

Her knee slammed into chest knocking the air from my lungs. I flew across the room and my back hit the stone with a thud. Glass rained down on me, glittering like diamonds as the picture frame on the wall shattered.

A picture of broken wings.

“Don’t touch me! Everyone you touch dies.”

How would you know? How can you possibly know...that I’m the reason he’s dead?
Elliot.

Coughing up crimson I realized the truth in her words.
My eyes swam with rain.

Let it end.

I’m just going to be heartbroken anyway.
I’m shaking my head I don’t want to believe.
This is the end; I don’t want it to be.
But the truth is a bitch, life is what it is.

Throb.

The tug at my heart was something I could neither control nor escape- but I was going to run anyway.


Chapter Eleven: Roses

"Well this is it dearie"

My eyes twittered from one spot to another. I took in the worn wooden house, decrypt and broken. It was huge…and yet quant. Exactly what a little old lady should have.

"Take off your shoes honey- oh well then, ah never mind."

She smiled looking down at my barren feet covered in mud and cuts
I wiggled my toes and smiled down at her.

“Sorry Grammy.”

“Oh its fine dear. This old place is never really clean anyways.”

Taking her hat off along with her jacket, she shook them out on the front porch, sending beads of water everywhere.

“This place is pretty Grammy.”

“Well I’m glad you like it honey.”

She stroked my cheek and then turned pointing into the next room.

“That there is the dining room, and up those stairs is my room, my granddaughter lives with me too, hers is up there too, and the guest room. I suppose you could have that one.”

I looked up at the winding staircase in awe, it was polished and glimmering; each step was made out of mahogany, much unlike the cold stone outside.

“Wooow...”

I walked over to a spiraling wooden staircase gently placing my hand on the railing. The wood didn’t look frail or worn like it should.
Winding my way up the staircase I looking down below. Everything seemed so much smaller and insignificant.
At the top I paused.

Three rooms…for some reason I was drawn to the one farthest to the left and so I followed my instincts. 

Inside was a huge bed with a canopy over it. It looked so old that if I even so much as tapped it, the whole thing would crumble.
Much unlike the staircase.

Gently I pulled back the canopy that looked as if it had been left untouched for years.
Sitting on one of the pillows was a doll with rose in her curly blonde hair. Tenderly I lifted her up, careful not to tear her rose. I gently moved the hair from the front of her dress, and there sitting on her chest, was a locket.
It sparkled and glimmered, a shining "L" on the front.
Water fell onto the little locket.
What? Tears?
Hastily I wiped them away. Why was I crying over something like this?

I opened it up to find a picture inside, dust having covered it. I took a deep breath and blew off all the dust, coughing as I sucked some of it up. My tears kept flowing, harder now seeing a little picture inside of two little girls. One blonde, one a brunette.
Smiling, laughing...
Loving.

*I HATE YOU.*

I dropped the doll and screamed holding my head in my hands. The rose petals scattered.
Red petals…
Like blood.

“Sweetie! Honey are you alright!”

I crumbled feeling my armor breaking. The sound of pattering footsteps came up the stairs but it felt more like elephants pounding through the house because I was shaking uncontrollably. My mind was detonating into floods of memories.

“Baby what happened, are you alright?”

Two little girls pranced around on Mount Trashmore.

“Come on! Hehehe we’ll roll down the hill together Lizzie!”

I registered my Grammy walking into the room and touching her wrinkled little hands to my cheeks.

“Hey you know what? I bet if we try hard enough...we can fly off this mountain.”

She smiled so sweetly at me, so sickeningly sweetly.

“We’ll fly together Lizzie.”

I took hold of her hand...and jumped.

“Stop it! Stop it I don’t want to remember!”

“Its all right dear, I won’t make you.”

She cradled me in her arms like a baby. In a sea of blood petals all I could see was the red and the face, her smiling face.
I twisted my head around to look at the doll with our picture but the little glass frame on the heart had shattered.
Shattered like my heart and memory.



Chapter Twelve: Grand theft auto.

The sounds of the guards were literally right outside the door.

“What was that!?!”

The crash of the glass must have been heard throughout the whole tenth floor. The smell of blood was pungent as well. It made my stomach churn.

My head lolled to its side staring at the doorway. My brain was screaming for me to run, but my body was limp, in power failure mode.

“There! She’s in this room.”

I saw white robes, doctors, and black shined shoes. They got closer until they were right at my eyes and I could smell the polish.

Arms surrounded me, grabbing at me trying to tie me down. There were so many voices in my foggy brain but not one was the voice I really wanted to hear.

I heard a baby crying in the next room. I heard the mother shushing her newborn and welcoming her to the world. She was seeing through new eyes, and the baby yowled.

“Happy birthday my sweet...”

Birthday?
Lorraine.
Her birthday was three days ago.
If I don’t find her she won’t have another birthday.
She’s not dead. I can’t believe she’s dead. Until I see her corpse lying in a casket, she won’t be dead.

My feet twisted around from the guards and resisted their restraints. The rope they tried to tie me with snapped in a second and I inwardly thanked the heavens for having thought to join weightlifting.
My legs stung from the glass shards in my legs, the perfect day to wear Capri’s. I dashed through the corridors and straight down the stairwell instead of pausing for the elevator.

My heart was racing but if I ran quickly enough I could still make it. I could run away from the throbbing in my heart.
Slamming the sliding doors open again my eyes bugged out of their sockets.

My getaway car was being towed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! What do you think you’re doing?”

The man loading grams little car looked up from where he was hooking on the cable and securing it in place. His smile broadened when he saw me. It ripped into a leer as his eyes took in my condition.

“I could ask you the same thing doll face.”

My eyes locked with his and sparks flared between us. I didn’t have time for this; the guards were right behind me.

“I’m not on my medication right now so don’t fuck with me.”

“Feisty aren’t we?”

My fists curled themselves into tight balls. If it meant knocking him out, I would. I might even enjoy making him swallow that golden tooth.

“Let me guess, you’re an escapee patient from the loony ward?”

His eyes flickered from the dusty grey to charcoal black.
I took a step back shaking my head.
Why were the eyes of everyone changing?
Was I really going crazy?

“Get my car down. I’m here and I don’t have the time for this.”

The guards were seconds away, this was my only chance.

“Come now Kitten respect for your elders. ‘Please’.”

His golden tooth gleamed in the sunlight.
I gritted my teeth together and swallowed my pride.

“Puh-lease.”

“That’s better.”

The chain he attached seconds before detached, and the car slammed into the asphalt beneath the car with a skin crawling crunch. Glass shattered into a million pieces like a waterfall of rain.

“Oops.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What’s wrong sugar you look upset?”

His head tilted to the side like a child, a big ugly child playing games with a mentally screwed up patient. My eyes moved from his face, to my grandmother’s car, and then to the truck. He had the keys dangling from the ignition.

My lips were now the ones that curled into an evil smile.
He wanted hardball, he’d get it.
My legs dashed into the front seat slamming the door in his face. As he grabbed for the handle I pressed down the lock.

“Hey what the- get out of my car you crazy bi-”

His fingers reached up trying to get to the lock through the slightly ajar glass, I pressed the button on the door and the windows slowly rolled up on his arm until he had to yank it free. He uttered a few other colorful words as he nursed his now swollen arm.

“I warned you not to fuck with me.”

The pounding on the metal door sounded like drums in my ears.
Slam slam slam.
The front hospital doors slid open and out came the badges.

“And that’s my cue. I’m out of here.”
My foot hit the accelerator and the shrieking sound of tires sliced through the pounding. A trice later I saw the flash of red and blue in the rear view mirror. I sped onto the highway ignoring the angry catcalls behind me as vehicle after vehicle backed up in traffic. Cars swerved to avoid hitting me as I swept right through a red light.

“I’m already charged with murder, what’s a little grand theft auto...”




Chapter Thirteen: Badge brat

The roar of the engine faded as it rounded the corner. Curse words and beeping followed as my truck sped through oncoming traffic and cut off the red light. I turned and grinned as the officers rushed to their cars and the headlights gleamed blue and red.

That naive little girl had no idea who she was up against.
I flexed my arm and watched as the purple bruise slowly faded away to perfect cream colored skin.

“She just drove onto the interstate! I need four of you to take the alternate route out of the city and blockade it!”

The obvious leader in the group of law enforcers belted out orders to the others.

“Yes sir!”

      I flashed around the passenger side of his patrol car, and pulled open the door slamming it shut behind me. The police officer sitting to the right of me blinked glancing at my face. The blur of movement left a baffled look on the badges visage and my lips curved into a smirk.

“Wait, how did you?”

      I touched his forehead and suddenly my face was his. I was decked from head to toe in uniform, an exact look-alike. He crumbled in his seat knocked unconscious. I kicked him out of the side door and shifted the car into drive leaving him sprawled on the asphalt behind me.

“Thank you sir, you have done a great service to your country. I’ll be sure to tell the Big Guy all about you.”

My hand reached out and grabbed the walkie-talkie connected to the dashboard.

“This is Officer Elliot; I’m coming in as backup. -over.”

“Roger that, we’re following the truck going down I-90.”

The screeching of tires pierced the air and I knew where she was. She was running to the one place no one would look for her.

Golden Gate Bridge.

The place where death seemed to loom over like a plague.
The bridge where I was murdered.

      The static buzz of the talkie echoed in the car and my mind whirled into a hundred different scenes. If I did this…would Powers be able to interfere? The angels of birth and death. They exist to stop fallen angels like me from taking over the world.

But I’m not planning to take over the world- just destroy hers.

The wailing of sirens flitted by and cars parted like the red sea the moment the lights above me flared to life.

I’d just have to take my chances.

“She can’t get very far if we cut her off-“

“Already on it, I’ve got a hunch I know where she’s going.-over”

I reached over to the dial and shut off all connection to the other patrol cars. The buzzing immediately ceased and the only sound was the wailing above me.

“Get ready kitten, I’m coming to pass judgment.”
…
…
…

Jesus H. Christ…what am I supposed to do now?

I passed by building after building, each one rocketing upward into the endless blue sky. I stared out the windshield silently praying that they would give me coverage from the helo’s I knew must be circling above me. I heard the dull hum of their blades a mile back and I knew those choppers were persistent.
Daddy always told me that.

He said that if I ever saw a helicopter I could cheer because some son-of-a-gun was getting caught. There’s no running from someone when they can see you from above. There’s no place they can’t see you.

There was only one place TO run.

Underground of course.

Its cowardly yes, to hide in a hole, but there wasn’t much other choice now was there?  The sewers were for filth, but that is who I am. I’ve reached the point in my life, where six feet under- that’s probably exactly where I belong. That’s where Elliot is, so why not the reason he’s dead.

I sped to the exit and the road slowly started to get rougher. The oldest and most deserted part of town was where I would hide.

Calm down beating heart, calm down. It’s not like this is the first time you run from the law. Its ironic really; they say the perpetrator always returns to the scene of the crime and here I am. Running to the place that I first took a life.

Golden Gate Bridge.

A badge brat that’s what I am. Elliot hid me from my lies the first time. I managed to get away from the sirens and the law.

This time I'm not the victim; I'm not the girlfriend.

I'm the hunted.

With Elliot behind the rifle- my lie as the silver bullet.

I don't have a prayer.




Chapter Fourteen: Too late

        The insides of the tunnel feel like the insides of a spaceship. My ears are starting to pop and there’s ringing in my ears. I can feel the pressure bearing down on my shoulders. I curved the car to a stop inside the tunnel and let the engine sit and hum. I was on the dark underside of the bridge. There was always this secret tunnel here, but nobody knew about it.
Nobody.
          I was here when they first built Golden gates. Daddy was the main officer in charge of running the place, so I know the secrets this bridge hides.

        My heart pounded in my chest as I crawled upwards through the tunnel until in the darkness. My pupils struggled to adjust to the light changes. Only the smallest glimmer of light shone through cracks in the dirt.

        I felt along the ceiling until my fingers felt the cool touch of a metal handle. I tensed my muscles and pushed upwards until the clumped dirt crumbled, and the opening lifted upwards from the earth that had covered it over the years it had been abandoned.

        I peered out from the darkness, and the ungodly shrill scream erupted from my throat and stabbed the air around me. My eyes met charcoal black irises and a grin that sliced me to ribbons as it curved upwards.

“Hey there kitten. I thought you felines hid in tree’s, not holes in the dirt.”

His voice was syrupy sweet. Like he was talking to a child.

“Why not come out and play?”

        His arms reached down into the abyss I had taken such comfort in and dragged me upward to the burning light and frigid wind. The bridge I dreaded and held as my sanctuary all at once swirled around me as he held me up by the scruff of my shirt. My legs felt limp, like a ragdoll in the air.

“Ah! I can’t...who are-”

        I twisted my wrist around for a blow to his gut and I was thrown to the floor. My face scraped against the black rain-washed gravel. I Felt the sharp sting of bleeding cuts on my cheek. My wrists locked behind my back at an odd and painful angle. His fingers closed around my throat, and his other hand crushed my wrists behind my back. His hot breath crooned in my ear and it brought a shudder down my spine.

“What? You didn’t recognize me? I take offence to that.”

        His grip on my throat tightened squeezing the little air left from my deflated lungs. All at once I realized I hadn’t been mistaken. That man I flipped had been him. With a new face.

My heart skipped a beat.
What kind of devil creature WAS he?

“You, how can you be agh-” 

        He lifted me from the floor and tossed me like a human shot-put across the bridge. I rolled across the hard floor and slammed into the wheels of a police cruiser. My head smashed into the metal leaving my skull imprint in the door. My eyes swam with bright little purple and blue dots. I grabbed onto the side mirror desperately and dragged my throbbing body to a stand. My torn and aching legs barley held my body upright. Glancing behind me the waters churned ready to swallow me whole, and in front he stood; a Greek Adonis ready to smite me. There was no hope in running.
None.

“Don’t you get it? I can take any form I want. I can be myself, I can be your grandmother, and I can be your pet cat…”
       
I watched as he shifted from person to person with wide eyes. This couldn’t be real.

“But you know who my favorite person to be is?”

His voice came out sickeningly sweet from the feline’s mouth.
The fur rubbing on my trembling legs suddenly transformed again to a human- the face that will haunt me till the day I die.

“You left me Lizbet, why? Didn’t you love me?”

        I froze; the face of my best friend held me and kissed my legs.
Or rather, it was her living corpse.

“You’re the reason I’m gone Lizzie.”

She smiled devilishly chuckling.

“The reason I’m dead.”

Her voice sang the words and they pierced my like no blade ever could. She reached out to touch my face with her bloody fingers and I kicked her off me.

No.
No, no, no, no!

“You aren’t real, you aren’t real!”

        I tore my eyes away from her, my arms clamping on my head, trying to destroy the monstrosity before me with my mind. I don’t want this; I don’t want to feel like this.

“Oh I’m very real Lizzie; I’m your guardian angel.”

        His face changed again to his normal self. No fake imitation, no double persona- just the terrifying gunshot victim: Elliot.

“Is that what you are? An angel? Then why are you haunting me, stalking me, trying to kill me?”

I took a step back behind the cruiser and he mimicked my movement like my shadow.

“You lied to me Lizbet. You said you’d never leave me.”

        The blood drained from my face remembering, that day, the day I moved away. Kissing his cheek, driving away. I remember the crying rain, the evident pain on his face. Did he know the whole story? My whole secret? I thought I’d buried that lie farther than the core of the earth.

“I waited for you out in that pouring rain, then you told me...you told me it was all a game.”

“Not a game Elliot, I just...I don’t love you...”

“Like you love Lorraine. I’ve heard that story before. The prologue before I drowned.”

I’ve never seen his eyes turn so cold...so broken.
He knew.

“Elliot, please don’t-”

“Make you relive that night? The night I died here.”

        His eyes snapped open and so did his wings. I fell back against the gust of his wings. I looked up at him standing on the top of the bridge and my lungs exploded. I screamed.

“What’s wrong? You told me before didn’t you? You loved me. I was invincible, I was your knight.”

        He tottered back and forth, one leg dangling, the other barely leaning against the pole he was standing on.

“I’m invincible right?”

The smirk on his face was maniacal, cynical.

“Elliot, Elliot no! Stop!”

        My eyes burned and my throat fissured, it felt like I couldn’t breathe. This must be what it was like for him. To be engulfed in misery by water so asphyxiating.

“It was a mistake Elliot, you were never supposed to die- nobody was supposed to get hurt!”

“Well Lizbet, now its time for you to pay for your mistakes.”

        I felt myself rise into the air, and suddenly it was my feet dangling over that bridge.

“It’ll be alright Lizzie, I’m with you.”

        Sickeningly sweet I heard the whisper in my ear. My heart detonated in my chest seeing her again. Decked in white, a veil over her face. My smiling best friend, my love- my Rain.

Her bittersweet voice hummed the wedding march in my ear. This was just too much, way too much to bear.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s too late for sorry, Lizbet. You were always, too late.”

His voice turned from saccharine to acidic in a trice.

“Too late to save me, too late to save Rain, too late to save yourself.”

My voice caught in my throat, I couldn’t breathe...
I’m drowning.

I’m drowning in my lies.



Chapter Fifteen: The messenger

"Hey kid..."

        A monotone voice spoke into my ear. The ground beneath me shook violently and I felt myself fall through the air until my face collided with stone. I swore rolling over onto my back and clutched my nose which was now freely flowing blood into my palm. I looked up to a woman with dark skin and tight braids laughing at me and my pain in the corner. She held a wad of paper that she tossed back and forth in her hands.

"Goddamn- what was that for!"

"You wouldn't shut the hell up. Screaming like you were being stabbed, Jesus."

I put my free hand up to my forehead and used it like an icepack to my throbbing head. I threw my head back to staunch the bleeding and came face to face with a roach the size of my head. I screamed a bloodcurdling screech that vibrated around the walls. I was up against the side of the opposite wall in a millisecond, my shoulder blades pressed uncomfortably against something metal and wet.

My heart rate began to skyrocket and pound in my chest.
I searched around the room and realized I wasn't on the bridge anymore. I wasn't anywhere I could recognize as safe.

The walls around me were rough and damp, corroded bars were what my back leaned up against and the stench of sweat and the inside of a porta potty bled into my nose. I was caged away in what looked like a prison cell. Nothing but foul energy from that of thieves, rapists, and murderers lingered in the air around me.

Panic.
My brain yelled at me the immediate reaction.

"What the- where the hell am I?"

I grasped onto the bars desperately, my eyes flitting around the room from one grim sight to another. My sight landed on where I had fallen from just a minute before and I cringed. The roach infested bed cot was covered in what looked like blood stains, and possibly vomit, encrusted in the lenin. In one corner something that looked oddly like an animal's carcass, lay with flies hovering overhead. Insect vultures over a fresh kill.

"Wha...what is..."

"Do yourself a favor- and don't ask."

My mouth opened, and then quickly shut again. I stared at the girl in front of me. Decked in an orange lapel jumpsuit, she lounged carelessly, looking up at the ceiling as if she were counting stars. The paper ball in her hands passed back and forth, back and forth. Her feet tapped in a perfect rhythm.

1234567...1234567...1234567...

"Who...Who are you?" She smiled.

"Me? Now you see, if I told you that..."

Her head tilted to the side childishly.

"...I'd have to kill you."

The blood flowing through my veins ran cold. Her smile broadened seeing my terrified expression.

The pattern broke. 1234567...8.

I gulped, a tight knot catching in my throat. I glanced over at the numbers on her tag, and her eyes followed mine.

"Oh this? That’s my number kid. Everyone here has one. Heh, even you."

She walked over and tapped my chest. I flinched. She never missed a beat in the taps 1234567....8.

She walked back over to her cot held up by a chain on either side and sat down exasperatedly. Her back leaned against the stone and moonlight seeping in from somewhere above slashed across her face. She looked both heavenly and devilish at once.

I pinched my orange suit and ogled at the numbers stitched onto my ensemble my eyes wide with horror.

"Heh, you have a number ten too huh? The same as mine kid. You must have done something real awful to get shoved in this joint with me kid."

She whistled long and low as if she were amazed.

"What are you talking about? Where is here even?"

She stopped tossing the balled up paper into the air and looked at me with her eyebrows creasing at the middle. She shook her head in disbelief and muttered to herself.

'Kid doesn't even know why she's here...Goddamn why am I always stuck with the crazies..."

Fury boiled inside me.

"Well of course I don't know why I'm here!"

I clamped my hand onto my mouth as my voice boomed then bounced off the walls.

"That’s the first stage kid, total denial."

I shook my head refusing to listen. She sighed and stared back at the ceiling again.

"Its alright kid, we all make mistakes, its just ours were a bit bigger than the norm."

She paused and I stared down at my wrists. My fingers trembled.

"Take me for example, I didn't clean up my mess well enough. Then the badges came, and now I'm living here for ten to twelve."

She smiled at me, but I didn't so much as twitch.

She sighed again.

"Well you're no fun."

Tears of frustration pooled from my eyes. I turned my face and let it rest against the metal bars. The psycho didn't need to see me cry.

"Hey, the psycho has a name."

I froze. My back popped up straight.

"The name's Lexus- charmed."

"How did you just..."

"Read you? Your not exactly well hidden kid, your body language is like a freakin open book."

She started tossing the paper up again adding another notch to the pattern. 1234567...8.

"Your crazy..." I hissed under my breath turning away from her.

"Yeah I get that a lot. I'm not nuts- I just have very reliable sources."

She shrugged when I said nothing. My fingers balled up into fists.

"Get used to it kid, you're stuck with me. The good old supreme court said so."

"I never went to court, I just-"

"No. But I've seen you lose already kid. It’s hopeless."

The fire started to inch higher.

"What exactly have you seen since you know so freaking much?"

"Well kid-"

"And stop calling me that! The name's Liz not 'kid' "

She smirked.

"Right 'Liz'"

I crossed my arms across my chest trying to hold in my frustration.

"It didn't take much to make you talk did it Lizzie? You’re real easy to break."

"Talk? What do mean I haven't-"

"Oh yeah. You sang like a fat lady alright. Told every secret you ever had."

"Secrets? What secrets, what the hell are you-"

My spine shuttered. I broke off midsentance seeing the horrid grin that broke onto her face.

"Elliot. Who's that kid?"

My quivering lips became the darkest frown possible.

"Don't say that name."

My voice came out malicious, violent even.

"Oho, so I struck a nerve."

"Shut up!"

I lifted up my body on shaking legs and my fist pulled back in the air.

She was behind me before I even blinked.

"Why should I?"

Her arm pressed into my neck and squeezed until the air was virtually nonexistent. A complete headlock that rendered me immobile.

"You snot nosed kid, I've been rotting in this jail cell for months and you think you can just talk to me like that?"

Her eyes blazed red.

I screamed. My body dropped immediately from her hold and onto the muck filled ground.

I backed into the farthest corner of my room, my head between my knees.

"Woah woah woah, hey. Don't go all exorcist chick on me."

My body shook and I tried desperately to make the fear disappear.

She watched me in curious empathy. Her hand reached down and grabbed the paper, and then she sat back down again. The moment of rage passed.

I forced my lungs to breathe in and out.

Crazy. I'm completely crazy.

"That’s what they say."

My head lifted up from between my knees, and I looked up at her. She peered down at me with a nonchalant look on her face. Like she didn't have a care in the world.

"'Your a wack jack job Liz. Take your medicine Liz.'"

She threw her head back suddenly and laughed uproariously.

"It’s alright. We're all a little nuts. Just a little bit."

She smiled a half smile, then her lips twitched upwards as if surprised.

"Well lookie kid, here comes your one phone call. Haha. As if you have anyone to call? But- oh it looks like you’re the one getting called."

She paused as if listening, then frowned.

"Well that’s not very nice, worrying her like that. You’re just not a very good person at all are you?"

"Wah? What are you-"

I fell backwards mid-sentence and my head no longer rested on the bars. They swung open without warning and my head once again met grime.

A hand roughly grabbed hold of the jumpsuit on my back and wrenched me up onto my feet. An officer grabbed both of my arms and slipped on a pair of silver bracelets I'd seen glittering on my daddy's belt countless times.

"Don't you love the jewelry? They make you wear it everywhere you go in this place."

I grimaced and tried to kick off the guard who was pulling me from the cell.

"Hey kid, just one more thing before you go. I got something to tell you."

"Oh so your a messenger now too huh? Haven't you told me enough?"

I shrugged the massive arms off the guard trying to haul me away and looked straight at her face.

She smiled a twisted grin.

"As a matter of fact I am kid, its kind've entertaining. Think fast."

She threw the paper at me and I caught it in my mouth.

"The message is in there. I'm an archangel kid. It’s my job."

"Ang.." The loudest silence blasted in my ears. An impenetrable echo.

Another angel.

The guard wrenched me from the cell and the slam of the bars forced me from my shock.

The walls whisked past me as I was shoved down the corridors of the intricate prison.
The inmates jeered and threw catcalls at me as I passed. I grimaced when one particularly lude prisoner reached out through the bars and grabbed at my sides, reaching for my boobs no doubt. I looked towards the officer that dragged me along for help, and he just stared ahead like stone.

*Ugh. Does no one care about all of these pigs?*

The jail cells clattered with excitement as my little procession passed down the halls towards an all glass room. I stared at the glass door rigid with fear. Every bone in my body trembled, and the skin on my arms became filmed in cold sweat.

I knew that room all too well. I'd seen it countless times from the outside. I'd watched daddy in action with my mother. Interrogating criminals until they broke. Often they were on the brink of tears, raving innocence, or pleading temporary insanity.

A world between heaven and hell.

Through the thin one way view wall of glass the difference between being the victim and the villain.

So on which side of the glass do I belong?

Chapter Sixteen: Temptations

My breathing started to slow as her fingers ran down my back and my eyes slowly dried up. I smelled the salt drying on my cheeks and felt her fingers shaking as they soothed me.

“I’m alright now Grammy.”

I pushed myself away from her as I realized I had caused her pain. My crying made her cry.

“Oh. Alright…”

I turned away from her face and walked over to the door trying to ignore the doll that lay among all the red.

“I’m fine.”

I walked into the hallway again and into the second room. My legs struggled to move and I entered the true guest room. Not the room that forced me to remember. I don’t want to remember. The last memory had given me only pain, excruciating pain. I’d rather not feel that ever again.

“I want to remember only the good...”

“I can help you with that.”

My body spun a full 360 degrees in a flash when I heard the voice behind me.
There sitting on the windowsill was the nurse that had so patiently and quietly let me run.

“What are you-? How did you-? DID YOU FOLLOW ME HERE?”

“Of course not.” She smiled sweetly at me, and her teeth glittered back at me.

“I have the hospital records sweetie. See?”

She pulled a folder from what seemed like nowhere, and tossed it at my feet.

“I don’t remember filling-“

“Of course not. You don’t remember a lot of things sweetheart.”

I stared at her. She smiled again and reached into her back pocket. She pulled out a little bottle filled with tiny orange pills, and in her other hand a little bottle of whiskey.

“You want to make the hurt go away right?”

She shook the little bottle of pills then tucked it safely between her breasts.

“I can save you from yourself...” She stopped and tilted her head towards the other room.

“Or you can stay here with her and remember EVERYTHING.”

I hesitated. My legs instinctively twitched towards the doorway to run into my Grammy’s arms. But the sight of those pills and that alcohol pulled me to her like gravity kept my feet planted onto the earth’s soil.

I grabbed the whiskey bottle that was still in her hand and drank it down in three gulps. I drank it like it was the air I needed to live.

“That’s right sweetheart. Good choice.”