The echoing is my sanity medicine. I can't help it if I'm crazy- Love me anyway. |
When life gives you chemicals… Chapter one: Jai When I first moved to Lancetown I really wasn't looking for adventure or some fantasy life only super models and celebrities could have. No, when I moved here the only thing I wanted was to get into a house that didn't consist of a hotel room with my mom. See, staring out the window of our moving truck was something I'd become accustomed too since my mom and I were constantly moving around due to the fact that she's an active navy marine. She saved the world on a regular basis. Woopdee freakin doo. We pass this big green sign reading: Welcome to Lancetown! Just another mechanical sign that thinks I'm in a cheery mood. The only thing that the overly cheery sign tells me is we're almost "there" like my mom's been saying we would be for the last five hours. I want out of this car. I'll be happy to just plug my laptop in the nearest charger outlet and steal someone's internet. I see a bowling alley and a music store pass in the window. There's a bunch of teenage kids just mulling around outside of it playing different instruments, and slapping each other's hands. A few of them are even in a circle break dancing to the stereo system from a truck bouncing up and down in the parking lot. Some chick just tried joining to group, and I can tell, she's got skills! But some jock just shoved her out. She slapped him. Hard. I smiled. I can tell I'm going to like this place already. Girls don't take crap. Finally, somewhere I can have a little fun. We turn the corner and into this morbid little neighborhood with some boys across the streets shooting hoops. They stopped when our car pulled into the driveway and just stared. I looked at one of them wearing a baseball cap and he smirked at me. Another one of them wiggled his eyebrows at me. Ugh. Pigs… My mom killed the engine and patted my thigh. "Let's get to work chickadee." I winced. I hated her calling me that. The pet name made my skin crawl. I grunted and turned to hop out of the truck. I took one look down at the ground and my eyesight spun. Whoa. Well that certainly is a drop… I took a deep breath and let gravity work its magic on my body. I hopped down, and landed with one knee on the ground and the other stretched out behind me. Nothing to it, but to do it. Whats a little air compred to the ramps anyways? My skateboard got ten times as much air. I wobbled a little but regained my composure. I wasn't letting those bozos see me fall. I walked around to the back and saw my mom struggling with the latch like always. Honestly, you'd think after the four hundredth move she'd have learned how to open one of these things by now. I heard them snickering behind us. Prats. I grabbed the handle and in one swift flick, I slammed the door up and open. I heard a ball bounce to the floor and the sound of shoes grating the road. They stared up at the door in sock. It was my turn to smirk. I grabbed a box and looked around at my new home. Empty and sad looking. Nothing new, same as always. My mom never has time to just stay home so I'm used to being in empty houses. Often times our stuff just stays in thier boxes all packed up and ready for the next move. It's usually only a couple of months. I immediately opened the box I was carrying as soon as I got to my room. The treasure inside was what would keep me from tearing my hair out, it always did after all. I passed my fingers over what I took out and smiled. MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. The words flitted across the screen of my Izune and the comforting music blasted from my earphones. Finally, I could breathe normally again. I walked out and found those same guys who had laughed at my mom helping her with boxes. I spoke too soon. My eyes caught the kid in the cap on. My eyes were hard and steely and his were oddly enough…respecting. "Just take those into the kitchen, and be careful it's my best china." He nodded at my mom and walked past me. I grabbed a box myself, snatched one more like, from the truck, before the eyebrow guy had the chance to touch it. It was my box of stuff; no way would he touch it…. "Well, aren't we feisty?" I scowled at him and turned back up my driveway just as Mr. Cap came back down. I twisted the volume on my Izune higher. *Step away unless your eager for punishment, I'm the angelic demon you will never know.* His feet stopped as soon as they heard the music blasting through my speakers. He turned and looked at me curiously and I shot him a death look. He flinched and kept walking. My death glare never failed. I dropped my box on my floor and sighed shutting the door behind me. I only had one other box of mine in the truck. The rest I figured, my mom would make her new neighborhood saps unload. I grabbed the box and tore the tape holding it together. This place was way too dull, time to make it look a little more…Romantic. I took down the horrid looking wallpaper, a gruesome rainbow and butterfly pattern, and started putting my posters up using a stapler. Five minutes later my wall was looking rather gorgeous and rock star filled. Much better. There was a slight knock on my door, thinking it was my mom I just said: "You live here too, jeez." A voice very much unlike my mom answered me. "Actually I live across the street, but hey if you want me to join you in this humble abode, I can make your wish come true." "What do you want?" I threatened him with my stapler. He held up his hands and dropped the box he was holding. It made a very bad glass shattering sound. He was not helping himself here. "It said Jaylin, so your mom said to give it to you." I'm going to kill my mother. "It's Jai actually." "Oh." Yeah. Oh. I turned and picked up the box he'd dropped and looked inside. Gingerly I pulled out my glass globe collection and I assessed the damage. There was glass and water everywhere inside the box. Great. Freaking Great. "Aw, crap I didn't break them all did I? It didn't say fragile…" "Never bother labeling them…I always know my boxes from the others…" He shuffled his feet awkwardly in place. "So you uh, you collect snow globes?" "Yeah." "It's weird, seeing how we live in the sunshine state and all." I was trying really hard to keep my anger in. "No it's not; I like them so I collect them." "You're right, they're cool." He laughed at his pathetic attempt at a joke pointing at all the fake snow inside the globes. I set aside all the globes I had managed to salvage and picked up the soaked through box filled with glass shards. "I'll take it; it was my fault for dropping it in the first place." I turned with my head down. And shifted the box out of his reach. "I've got it." "No really let me-" "You've done enough!" I said that a little louder than I had intended, but looking at his face he got the message. He stuck his hands in his pockets and walked down the stairs two at a time. "Hey! Jace bro, what's the rush?" It was Mr. Eyebrows again. "Let's go." "Go? But I thought you said-" "LET'S GO." Mr. Eyebrows looked up at me from the end of the stair case and shook his head. Then he walked out of the front door just like that. The silence practically killed me. I popped MCR in my ears again. *They're gunna give you a smirk…The boys and girls in the cliques…You'll never fit in much kid.* I looked down at where the door was. No need to tell me, I already knew that. Chapter two: Happiness I woke up to my mother yelling "Rise and shine!" I rolled over onto my back and groaned. I don't want to wake up! Every time she wakes me up with that damn "rise and shine" shit, I think to myself how lucky dead poeple are! I stared up at the cieling in a total daze. "You're going to be late on your first day!" My fifth first day of school this year. What a joke. My hair was everywhere and I couldn't really care less. I forced myself out of my sleeping bag. Stupid lumpy icky floor. It was virtually impossible to sleep on that thing; I might as well have gotten a blanket and slept on the floor. It was basically the same anyway. I pulled at the string to pull up my blinds and no sunlight blasted into my eyes. No, clouds covered the sky today. Dark and grey looking. At least today was looking better than the average; I loved cloudy days, because they were always windy. Windy meant today was a biking day. I can get air on windy days. I walked over to my bathroom and shoved my hair back into a pony tail. I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror and at my black mascara smudges under my eyelashes. I bit my lips and watched as they turned bright red from the sudden rush of blood flow. Putting on a thin layer of clear gloss on my now plump lips, I slipped on a pair of jeans and grabbed my Izune off the counter on my way out the door. "I'm gone mom." "Have fun sweetheart! Love you!" I gritted my teeth again at the pet name. "Yeah, sure mom, love you too." I let the screen slam behind me and tossed my backpack over my shoulder. I pushed up my kickstand and stood pressing every ounce of my energy into my petals wanting more than anything to just feel the wind blowing in my hair. I pressed play with one hand and held on tightly to the handlebar with other. *Say goodbye for the hundredth time and do it all over again…* I know school was in the opposite direction, but I turned left because I had somewhere else I wanted to go. I wanted to see the skate park. I wanted to see just how much air I could really get, how loud I could make my music go. When I reached the park, the sheer size of it all nearly took my breath away. I know I had planned on just visiting but I had to try them out. They were calling me, I could feel it. I slipped through a hole in the fence with my bike, and without hesitation I pedaled like mad onto one ramp and glided from one to another, flipping and doing some of the craziest moves ever to have been sadly not witnessed. My handlebars twisted 180 degrees midair; I hopped onto the seat and threw both my hands in the air letting gravity take over. My elation and heartbeat was racing as I skidded on the rails I knew were usually for skateboards only. I'd have to come back here with mine… With every breath I took and every jump I flew, I knew I would just soar higher. I laughed finalizing my last trick, the one I was famous for everywhere I went, it didn't matter what country I was in or what skate park, this one move turned heads. I called it my chemical rendition. I biked straight down the path hopping up onto the stairway of the ramp and olleyed down the side of it, no feet and only one hand flipping myself up onto my handlebars midflight. Up in the air I saw his face; I saw those gorgeous brown eyes. It was just a glimpse of him in the corner of my eye but I know I'd seen him. The lead singer of my favorite band was just behind that fence, watching me. What shocked me even more…was the person next to him. What had Mr. Eyebrows called him? Oh right, Jace. There was always the possibility I had been hallucinating. I met my eyes with his for little more than a millisecond, but it was long enough. He turned away from me and next thing I know I'm crash and burning. I bit my lip swearing under my breath. I shoved my distorted bike off of me cringing at the ciering pain in my arm. I twisted my elbow around and saw a lovely fresh gash in the skin about an inch deep. Definitly a stitcher. Blood was dripping down my arm and I tilted my head to the side and watched it glide downward into oblivion. I shook my hand and the dropplets splattered onto the pavement. The pain meant nothing to me, It seemeed almost obsolete in fact. The only thing I see in front of me is the art I've created on the floor. Like paint on a canvass. I stood grabbing my bike and twisted it back to its normal shape by holding it still with my knees. I brushed myself off and realized I was a visible mess, clothes ripped, arm bloodied… How could I go to school now? I tore off the sleeves on my black shirt that once reached just above elbows, so that it now covered my elbows to my wrists, making it look like they were there on purpose. There, that took care of the bloody gash in my arm. I finished my new wardrobe and tore the holes in my jeans as well, my flyaway hair now barely hanging from its ponytail holder. Looking in the reflection on my Izune which had somehow survived I was shocked to see I looked BETTER than before I had fallen. Huh. Sometimes I amazed myself. I hopped on my bike still sore, and my eyes searched for them. My legs pumped the pedals forcing speed. Every corner I turned on I expected them to pop out laughing at me. Pulling into the school parking lot I shoved my bike behind some of the bushes having forgotten my bike lock in the garage. I battled my way through the cheerleaders and the band geeks to my locker- and froze. Painted on the front in big black letters was the word "HATER". I smiled at the sight. What a lovely welcome. I twisted the lock until it clicked open. A blur of white and silver then detonations sounded at my feet. I screamed and jumped backwards. My back bumped into none other than Jace himself. "Whats wrong new girl?" Tears leaked from my eyes when I saw what had cuased the detonations at my feet. Snow globes. At least fifty of them. Picking one unharmed globe there was a little figurine inside. I squinted my eyes to see what it was and my heart stopped. It was a frowning snowman holding a broken heart. Powdered snow glittered on the floor and I felt the bits of glass on my bare feet sink into my skin. So I'd gotten myself branded already, social outcast. I whipped my head around an faced himand threw the globe an inch from his face. It shattered into the locker behind me. "Stay away from me." "No, I don't think I've done enough just yet." I ran. Opening the bathroom doors I locked myself in a stall. I blasted up the music into my ears and tried in a futile attempt, to erase the images in my head. The glass and water lying outside my locker, the dozens of faces who stared when the shattered, The word plastered on my locker door. His grin. *Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own. Oh if it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really oh so alone. Can't anyone take the pain away from me? And I, I'll surrender. Happiness is what I know I want and need…* The truth was a sad, sad thing. And truth was, no matter how much I might want it, happiness wasn't going to come naturally to me anytime soon. Chapter three: I moved in a zombie like state, dragging my bike along beside me. Black mascara once again bled down my face and down into a beautiful oblivion. "You've done more than enough." My heart hammered in my chest as I gazed down at the water dam and the crushing waves that could easilly drag me under and keep me there. A wondrefully silent and painless way to stop existing. Once I jumped, no one would be able to save me, nobody would hear me scream. I was way past fed up- I was lethal. A danger to myself. But that was exactly what I needed. Th water crashed into each other leaving a white haze to rise up and lick at my cheeks. The current would seep me under and I would finally be able to permanently drown out my world in sound. *I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone, But honey if you stay you'll be forgiven." Thing is if I stay, I know I'm not going home. |