My Beef? No Beef!

My Beef? No Beef!


Agreeing to meet Suzanne at a non-vegetarian restaurant had been a big mistake.  It had been six days since I'd agreed to go without eating any meat for two weeks, just to show her that it made no difference to me one way or the other, and I was beginning to regret accepting her challenge.  When the meal had been delivered to the table next to us, the heavenly scent of freshly grilled chicken had nearly sent me into a feeding frenzy.  I would have completely embarrassed myself ripping the delectable, lightly-seasoned flesh from the bone, if the guy who'd ordered it had waited any longer to start eating.

With an almost superhuman effort, I regained my self-control.  I really wanted this thing with Suzanne to work out.  We'd gone out seven times now, and I truly do like her.  I like the sound of her laugh, and I think she's witty and intelligent (her apparent misunderstanding of the carnivorous nature notwithstanding).

But - no meat?! How can I say "Nay!" for eight more days, when every fiber of my being longs for a resounding "Yea!"?  As things stand, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even care, if the next morsel of meat to pass my lips used to moo, bark or neigh (and I know of a couple of places, where you take your chances on any of the three).

Suzanne looked at me strangely.  "Are you okay, Ted?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Suzanne.  It's just... well, going meatless cold-turkey--now there's an odd phrase for you--is a little harder than I thought it would be, that's all," I said somewhat sheepishly.  "But - a promise is a promise, so no meat for me through next Monday.  After that, well... maybe it wouldn't hurt me to cut back on the burgers a little."

"That's really sweet, Ted," Suzanne replied, smiling, "and I apologize for not thinking about this place's specialty, before choosing it as a meeting place.  I'm also sorry I won't be here to help 'coach' you through this next week; I have that business trip to Houston, remember?"

"I remember," I said, "and don't worry.  I'll be fine.  What do you say: shall we hit the salad bar?"

We each filled our plates more than once, and actually wound up having a pretty nice dinner.  Afterward, I took her home and, after an affectionate moment or two at her building's entrance, we parted company.

Things seemed to be going fairly well, and I was pretty sure we'd be seeing each other for a long time to come.  I was absolutely certain about one thing, though: when these two meatless weeks are over, Ma Parker's Ala Carte Cafeteria is getting every cent I can spare!


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