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by jay Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Article · Experience · #1551491
I have pedestrian rage. I'm not joking.
Some people have road rage, i have "pedestrian rage". This epiphany came to me today whilst i was having a casual Sunday shop in Tescos. In truth, there was nothing casual about it. Numerous times, i feel i was on the brink of lashing out verbally/physically at a couple of people. You would think that some people had all the time in the world. The reality is that, unless it's Friday evening (the only time of the week where strolling through the aisles at a mere amble is allowed) people need to halt themselves conducting meetings in the middle of the aisle. HOW DARE THEY TEMPORARY PREVENT ME FROM GETTING MY STRAWBERRY MULLER CORNERS?!? It simply defies logic.

If people had more urgency whilst shopping they'd be no queue's. Britain perceives shopping as the equivalent of the 10000m steeplechase. A long, drawn out event with unnecessary obstacles where people just go round in circles. If people were more inclined to view it as a 100m dash, a lot of problems would be solved. You never see Linford Christie queuing in supermarkets do you? He's in and out in a flash. Actually he's probably a step ahead of the game, doing his weekly shop online. Genius.

As a side-note, my mood probably wasn't helped by the fact i was being serenaded by angry music whilst shopping. It was fueling my rage.

My solution is to insist upon shopping time limits. From the moment you enter to the time you pay, you have a maximum of twenty minutes (this is overly generous) to complete the course. If you fail, you must pay a supermarket congestion fee of £10.

Make me PM please.
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