1. Am I the only one who’s jealous of people who are under court ordered house arrest? You're forced to lounge around the house all day. Can I get in on that?
2. “Waterboarding” doesn’t sound like a method of torture. It sounds like something you do at the lake with your friends. If someone asked me if I’m down for some waterboarding, I’d be like, “Hell yeah. Can I be first?”
3. Does 911 accept faxes? I’d like to know in case I ever have strep throat and there’s an emergency.
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