Sure, sure, so I'm a Vampire

I laugh when I read the news. Everybody is ‘Vampire crazy’ right now. No one actually understands us, but they all seem to want either to be like what they think we are or they want us dead. The latter thinking we are all evil. Now I love a good story as much as everyone else does; however, this has gone so far out in left field. Anne Rice and Stephenie Meyer are both awesome writers, and I am so glad that they write. If not for them, I might have been discovered years ago.

I am a vampire. However, my skin is not pale white, powdery, stone, or hard. I look as human as anyone else does. My eyes are not a strange color, they do not change colors and I unfortunately cannot move like the graceful Vampires or at the speeds that these authors seem to think us capable. I am however a vampire, living from the life’s blood of others, though it is not the red blood that runs through your veins. I live off, the emotions that we experience on a daily basis.

For a while I actually did live off of blood until, I figured out that the blood was nothing without the emotions that go along with them. Otherwise, we could just go rob a blood bank, or go on a ‘killing spree' at a hospital. What I actually craved was the feelings produced when I took the blood. You see victims always experience strong emotions. For some it is the untamable fear that freezes them in place, for others it is a surge of adrenaline giving them a euphoric feeling. Each person’s emotions are not exactly the same, though they are similar enough to classify. Fear, love, hate, lust each have a distinct flavor the stronger the emotion the more savory the flavor.

It did take me a while to become accustomed to feeding in such a new manner. Oh, and I have another ‘bubble to burst’ for you, we don’t run around with capes with our teeth extended scaring children. In fact, the few who still do feed off blood have willing donors. The person has no marks other than what they make themselves. There are no, 'telltale tooth marks on the neck' like the silly movies.

When I figured that out, I went to school and became civilized. I gained acclaim as one of the ‘good guys’. I found a way to have these feelings given to me without ever needing to inflict them myself. In fact, I now actually help people. The schooling was only necessary as a reassurance to people. I hold a Masters in Psychiatry. I also volunteer on a regular basis, at women’s shelters, and abuse hotlines. Over the many centuries I have lived, I found that humans treat each other deplorably. These poor souls come to me for comfort, to help themselves. I take all the fear and hate that they willingly give. They feel better and I am a hero, though they never realize what happened.

I suppose I should tell you, how I feed. I am sure that your minds are wandering if it appears magical, or if the person knows. I am sure some of you have a very 'vivid mental image' that is not right at all. For those of you, who do, shame on you! If you were to look in on one of my ‘sessions’ you would see nothing more than a person under hypnosis, who is experiencing the horrible or bothersome things ‘vividly’. I look like a typical, therapist listing to the patient. Though this 'look' has taken some time to perfect, as the sensations that I experience are similar to the joy and amazement you feel when your completely satisfied. Of course, I do dim the lights and I have soft biofeedback sounds playing softly. I like to enjoy my meals and emphasize relaxation of the body in my patients. I like the term patients, so much more than, victims. When the person is in the session, they are unaware that anything special is happening. They only know that when they leave they are ‘cured’. They remember whatever brought them to me. I leave them able to cope with whatever event they just relived for me. The event no longer holds them captive.

I was unknown, until recently, when some government officials found out. They thought they could use me, not as a weapon, just as an experiment. I wiped the slate clean, quickly, leaving none of them with any memory of me. Oh, did I fail to mention that? Yes, in taking those emotions, people actually forget that I was really the one to remove them. I could if I so desired leave someone with no memories; erase their minds so to speak. It is a bit taxing to erase so many minds. I actually had to rest for a few hours afterwards. One real fact is that I do not have to sleep, though sometimes we do force ourselves into a state of stasis when we become ill at ease with our lives and where better to do that than in a place of final rest where people do not disturb us. I think we actually got the idea from the authors of some of our lore. That is ironic is it not?

My thoughts have strayed from my purpose, that was, to set the record straight in light of these insanely popular series. The only way to do that I suppose would be to let you know what I am doing at the moment. I am sitting reading though the Twilight series for my third time, I weep yet again. It is such a wonderful fairy tale. The girl meets her, somewhat dangerous ‘knight in shining armor’, the drama, the tears and the love it is so emotional. Going to the movie left me feeling gluttonous. I cannot wait for the second movie; though I will probably have to work out more with all those sweet emotions.


Written for The Resurrected Stake and Garlic Contest: using prompt. 1. Write a story about a vampire's reaction to the insanely popular series such as Twilight For the month of August 2009.