this piece describes the struggles of dealing with accountability and truth |
I am the lie that you tell when the truth has been around for a while. I am the falsehood that an irresponsible father uses to ignore his child. I am the claim you made to the officer that you only had one sip. I am the phrase “I didn’t inhale; I just put it up to my lip.” I am the counterfeit justification of money you should have never spent. I am the check-in-the-mail you know damned well you never sent. I am the testimony “she wanted it” when there were tears in her eyes. I am the false cold demeanor that pretended not to hear her cry. I am the alibi of being somewhere else although smoke rose from your gun. I am the clean urine sample that you used for the Olympic event you won. I am the promise that you spent the whole night at work although your girlfriend could plainly see the smear of red lipstick on the collar of your shirt. I am your excuse for not having a job by saying you are in a rut. I am the “big-boned babyfat” you say constitutes your humongous gut. I am the coverstory a prostitute uses when she is not working in the street. I came out of Ananias’s mouth before he fell dead at Peter’s feet. I am your assertion of vegetarianism when you eat several pounds of meat. I am the false ignorance of your hit-and-run that left a child dead, last week. I am the drug you take to purge your conscience of people you killed in a war. I am the threat you issued to witnesses that saw you shoot the man in the drawer. I am the fraudulent claim on your neighbor’s child for your tax credit and deduction. I wrongly legitimatized the War on Terror with the weapons of mass destruction. I swiftly turn off the lights, so peddlers think you are not at home. I am the motivation for bill collectors to blow up your phone. I am the cause impeding well-deserved, insurance settlements and all of their delays. I am the source of Katrina victims waiting for national help for five hellacious days. I am the Swiss bank account that you use to hide the money you have stolen. I am the bribe you gave to police to ignore why your wife’s face was swollen. Don’t act like you don’t know me: we have been friends for a while. Afterall, I taught you how to lie: I am denial. |