How to be a me

I'm a vegetarian that likes cheeseburgers
I'm an artist that cannot paint
I'm a lover disguised as a fighter
Don't think there's a thing in this world that I ain't

I'm a writer without a pencil
I'm a pencil without lead
I could be an all-star athlete
But I'd rather stay in bed

It's okay if you don't like me
I won't put up a fight
Or I might knock you atop the head
And put you out like a light

I'm a vegetarian that likes cheeseburgers
I'm an artist that cannot paint
I'm a lover disguised as a fighter
Don't think there's a thing in this world that I ain't