Dan's Secret

    There Dan sat, crying over his mother’s hospital bed. The nurse came in and whispered something in his ear. He doesn’t even look up at her. As the nurse starts walking out the door, a doctor stops her. The doctor asks her “How’d he take it?” With a frown, she shook her head in despair. His mother had been diagnosed with cancer for a second time. She had barely pulled through the first time, but this time there was almost no chance for survival. Dan remained at his mother’s bed, still crying.

    Later that week, Dan was sitting at lunch with his friends. Earlier that year he had come out to his friends about being gay, so they already knew. The problem he was facing was that his family didn’t know. When he told his friends that his mother was going to die, they urged him to tell her about being gay before she died. He said “I can’t do that, I don’t want her to hate me when she dies.” They knew that she wouldn’t react that way, but also knew it was pointless to argue that. 

    When he got home his dad was sitting in the living room by himself. Dan went in to talk to him knowing something was wrong. “Dan, I need to tell you something,” his dad said. Dan just stared at him blankly; he knew what it was. Dan’s dad went on to tell him that he was leaving his mother. He said he couldn’t deal with all the stress and make a living at the same time. His dad also had found another woman which he was leaving Dan’s mother for. As soon as he was done, Dan just broke out into tears. He left the living room and went immediately to his bedroom. For about an hour, his dad tried to get him to come out of his room, but he continuously refused. Dan told his dad repeatedly how much he hated him and that he just wanted him to get out of his life. After hearing this, Dan’s dad left. He packed his things and left Dan and his brother at the house all by themselves and live with his girlfriend.

    Dan didn’t go to school the next day. All he could think about was that god hated him for being gay. He blamed everything that happened on himself. He knew that it was all up to him now to take care of his mother, and he knew he couldn’t handle it. Thinking about it made him angry. Most kids didn’t have to deal with this kind of stress; it didn’t seem fair to him. He felt terrible about being angry, but he couldn’t help it.

    A few days later the doctor told Dan that his mother only had two more weeks to live. Dan knew at that moment he had to tell her about everything. He was fully prepared for his mother to tell him that she didn’t want anything to do with him.  For years, Dan had prepared himself to be disowned by his mother and family. Know he was finally ready to accept that this would be inevitably his life.

    Dan walked into his mother’s hospital room. When she saw him, a huge smile came across her face. “Hi Mom,” he said, “how are you feeling.”

    She responded “I’m okay I guess, how about you?”

    Dan paused and then said “I need to tell you something?”

    “No problem Dan, what is it?” she said.

    “I’ve been keeping something from you for a really long time. I’m not sure how to tell you but here it goes,” he said, “ever since I was little I’ve known this. I remember when you all thought it was so cute that Jack had his first crush on a girl. Soon after that I had my first crush too.”

    As he’s talking, his mothers smile got bigger. He paused and then asked her what she was smiling about.
   
    “Dan, I know. Your dad knows too. We’ve always known,” she told him. With those few words Dan’s entire outlook on life was changed. He just sat there speechless. In the million times he had run through this conversation in his head, he had never imagined that response.

    “Are you okay?” his mother asked him. Dan didn’t even respond, he just got up and left the room. He didn’t know what to do, he was utterly lost. Being happy would be the natural response to this, but for some reason he felt completely depressed. Eventually he pulled himself back together and returned to his mother’s side.

    “Thank you. I’m not sure what happens now though. I never really thought about it,” he told his mother.

    “Nothing happens now. You continue your life as you always have, nothing is different. If anything, you should be happier,” she said. Dan gave his mother a big hug and told her he loved her with a big smile.
 
    In three weeks, Dan’s mother miraculously hadn’t died. She was still alive, and the doctors said she seemed to be getting better. She wasn’t cured, but it lessened the stress Dan had to deal with. He still wasn’t sure how to handle his new life, but surely it would be better than before. Dan had been to the deepest, darkest parts of the human mind and survived heroically.