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Love, Love - Romance novel. She has one main decision to make. |
I was incredibly confused. Which one should I have chosen? I knew deep down what it was that I should choose, but there was still an element of guilt. I had already made up my mind; I had ‘unchosen’ two of the options, which left me with a last choice – One. I so badly wanted one, yet none may have been easier. Though after what I had discovered from my past experiences of this kind, I had an innate feeling that one would be good for me, better than none. I tried to compare the three situations I had conceived in my mind. Pre-one, as I called it, had already come and gone. It was but a mere memory in a pool of so many going-ons. Some of it was good, and some of it was bad. All of it I had learnt from. And because of that, none of it would be truly forgotten. I did not have a single regret. Thinking about this left me with a feeling of content, making my decision I had made seem slightly easier. The situation of none, looking at it properly, seemed negative compared with the other two. None seemed so... lonely. Lost. Missing a certain something that I craved. And that something I needed, otherwise I would feel unsatisfied, perhaps even disappointed. And after my previous experiences, that was something I definitely did not need. I’d had enough of disappointment. Enough of the little amount of satisfaction I was getting. I needed something different, something fresh. Which was why one was the option I wanted. One sounded so good right now. Yes, I would be stepping into the unknown, but I felt comfortable with it. I liked different. Different was better than the routine I had got myself into. And as I thought about it more, it started to seem even better. I was nearly convinced. Nearly convinced about something I had thought so much over. And so I had made up my mind. I looked ahead and forgot about what had happened. My future was dotted with turnings and crossroads, yet I knew they would all link back to the main road I had chosen to follow. And as I followed it, I was finally true to myself, because I never wanted it to end. |