Awake and Asleep

It’s maybe past midnight now.

I had just woken up from a horrible dream and no matter how hard I try to put myself to sleep again, I just can’t. So I remained awake, my eyes staring blankly at the blackness.

The darkness in my room made it pointless to open or close my eyes. But I still did anyway, searching for even just the tiniest existence of light. I wanted to see something else other than the emptiness of my room. There was none. Pitch black darkness is all I could see.

I tried to turn my lamp on, but I can’t find it. Then I remembered: I don’t have a lamp.

I never had problems sleeping alone. I wasn’t afraid of the darkness. Every time I go to sleep, I never leave any light on, because I find it disturbing to my sleep. But now, what is disturbing me most is the sickening darkness. My eyes craved to see light.

I could hear the tireless chirping of the crickets outside.

I got out of bed and tried to find the switch to the only light bulb in my room. Touching the surface of the wall, I tried to feel and touch the switch.

A minute later I still can’t find the switch. All I could feel is the wall’s rough surface. The switch seem to have disappeared to where it was once located.

“Where the heck is the switch?” I whispered to myself, getting very impatient.

I was getting hopeless.

I gave up finding the switch and instead started searching for the door. I wanted to get out from the darkness of my room and see a glimpse of moonlight through the window. Or anything as long as it shines, I badly need to see light.

My hands finally got hold of the knob. I turned it as slowly as possible so it won’t make any sound at all. I didn’t want to wake up Buggy, our dog, who barks at anyone or anything who wakes him up from sleep at night. I pushed the door slowly. My heart started beating faster.

I took one step outside my room and turned my head at different directions searching for light.

Finally, my eyes caught a glimpse of a ray of moonlight at the window. It was beautiful. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen since I woke up from that horrible dream.

Not just any bad dream, it was a nightmare, a horrible nightmare…

In my dream, I was returning home from school when I noticed that the door of our house was widely opened. Mother usually keeps the door shut close since she didn’t want to catch a cough or a cold because of the cold winter breeze. But now, it was unusually, widely open.

I pushed the door, expecting the usual welcome of my mother while telling me that dad will be home any minute now for supper.

Instead, I was greeted by an eyesore as I entered: our house was in a state of unholy mess. As if a storm ransacked our house and blew all our things and stuffs away. The sofa, tables, and chairs were either displaced or broken.

I checked the kitchen and expected a saliva bath from Buggy’s welcome licks, but he too failed to welcome me.

So I went to the living room expecting them to be there. I wanted answers to why was our house in this state.

“Mom? Dad? Lily? Where are you?” I called for them.

No one answered.

But there they were:

Bloodied corpses lying on the carpeted floor. They had slashes and stabs at different parts of their body. Their blood gave a dark red color to the carpet. And before I could even get the chance to scream, a flood of blood came rushing through all the openings in house. I watched in terror as it began to drown me.

Then, mercifully, I woke up in the familiar darkness.

I can feel my heart beat go normal again. All the terror I felt from my nightmare, and the sickening feeling of the darkness in my room, were now beginning to go away. Thanks to the single ray of moonlight at the window that I am now staring at. I went closer to the window and took a peek at the moon. The moon was even more beautiful than the ray of light it had sent me through the window!

I was still mesmerized by the beauty my eyes were seeing when I felt a warm feeling on my legs and feet.

It was Buggy brushing his warm fur on my shaking legs. I woke him up, but he didn’t bark at me as he usually does each time I do.

As if he knew what I have just gone through.

I sat down as I patted his head and ran my hands on the fur at his back. My eyes were still on the moon. Buggy replied with a weak yelp as he closed his eyes and went back to sleep. I began to feel sleepiness too.

I leaned my head against the wall, slowly closing my eyes and getting a last glimpse at the moon.

I can no longer feel the fear that had once devoured my entire being… there was only peace… nothing else but peace…