I gave you away

Oh child of my womb there was no future with me.
No home or family - I had to set you free.
Loving parents took you in, while  I struggled day by day.
They gave you love and opportunity,
I gave you away.

I went back to school, to try to turn my life around.
I got a job, bought a house, but love I never found.
My sleep was often interspersed by dreams of you at play,
or nightmares of you hating me, because
I gave you away.

With each success I thought about you being at my side.
But without the spur of your absence, I never may have tried.
Every action has a cost, a price we must pay.
The price I paid for my success?
I gave you away.

One youthful indiscretion, too young to know what to do,
on the advice of others, I did what they said was best for you.
But I am old and lonely, wealth doesn’t keep the pain at bay.
In you, God gave me the key to happiness but
I gave you away.

Guilt would not let me search. The rejection I could not bare.
I was comforted in knowing, your family is full of love and care.
Now as I sit in this nursing home, each day I meditate and pray
that God and you will forgive me, because
I gave you away.