It's time.

Time is such a strange, intangible notion, yet within our understanding and grasp all the time.

"Five minutes 'til class is over!" "We just have a few more minutes." "Oh, it only takes a couple of hours."

But when events and daily routines merge into the depths of mental and spiritual states, time is changed; transformed. The stability of the frame of mind is various in its abilities. One moment can change it forever, good or bad. A long period of time wherein certain positive or negative events occur also change the variability of the frame of mind. It is within these periods of time -- great or short -- that I find my mental frame expanding, shrinking, recooping or diminishing, growing more knowledgable or furthering the depletion of knowledge. And it is also within these moments that I may find my greatest inspiration to write, think, and imagine a world unknown to others and usually myself, expanding my consciousness to a place beyond that of what I thought before and finding some epiphany and relavence in actions made, by fault or not, and thoughts created or percieved. It is with this small fragment of inspiration like that of years past, that I continue to write again, once more, the discombobulated thoughts and feelings speeding through my mind.

At this moment in time, I have been writing this for a little while already, and I took a brief moment and lost where I was in thought, so I will catch the next thought passing through my mind and go from there.

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....... Lady Gaga has some really cool outfits. Her video, Bad Romance, is really amazing. Combined with the song, I feel it has the potential to be a series. The different characters she portrays, I would definitely not mind seeing a series somehow. But this is not the point of my writing, so let us just ignore this.

Moving on, time. Well, moving back, really. Or is it starting at the same time we left of? Writing a bit of words, there really is no timeline, is there? It is not really moving forward if it continues a topic previously spoken off, but then there is the small hiatus that deflects the onward direction of the topic. So, I suppose I am backtracking, ever-so-slightly, to the topic at hand: time.

There really is so much to be said of time, like reflection and the power of it. If you have read an earlier piece that I wrote about reflection, you can see how the word 'Reflection' can be interpreted in different ways and elaborated on to make sense in one's mind. As with time, it also is able to be thrown into many different ways of being perceived, or in some cases, unperceived. Like with maturity.

How do we know when we have matured to a point of not realising we no longer take part in activities or pleasures we once had? Or perhaps indulgences. One day, do we just wake up and say, "I'm no longer going to eat sugary candy all the time," or realise, "I want to raise a family"? Where is that defining mark in our lives when people see us after a period of, once again, time and say, "Hey, _____, you act so mature now! You used to do ________ when this situation happens!" Or perhaps, "You always loved to do __________, but now you don't? What is up with that?!" Are these the signs that tell us, "You're understanding your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual self at a higher degree and are better able to please and nourish your needs than you could in the past"?

Physical maturity is really the first of many undergoings we are put through. Our bodies, chemicals and mental thinking change at a rate we are not used to, and it is within this period of time that we reevaluate what makes us happy (candy, sexual pleasure, taking up new habits that may not be healthy, working out, finding new social groups) and step into a new realm of living that further facilitates the growth of us as a whole being rather than a piece of meat that gains some more fat storage, muscle, enlarged limbs and body parts and finally begin to wonder thoughts of, "What is best for me?" We ponder things like becoming a vegetarian, what we have been taught religiously our entire life, when is it right to lose our virginity, taking up a new hobby or learning a trade skill, and is politics something that we should take an interest in or not.

And by progressing past this initial puberty, our minds further develop, and we expand our thinking towards other things, like aliens, witchcraft, other 'Gods' or 'Goddesses,' and social acceptance to benefit a community as a whole to be better efficient, safer, and economically sound.

Time is such a hard concept to grasp as far as a life goes, because a life can end in a short span of time or last over a centennial age. I still find myself wondering where in this amount of time do we truly find ourselves? Is it in the arms of a stranger holding a sign for free hugs? The dismayed grimace of a homeless woman as a teenager spits in her direction. Or perhaps the cruelty towards a dog that is deaf and unknowing of when the owner wants it to move. A casual encounter in a coffee shop with a stranger who eyed your book from afar and accosted you to smile and say how much they enjoy the book as they are currently in the process of reading it as well.

Well, I don't think it is a single, defining moment that we understand that we have matured fully (for, are we ever able to ever fully mature? Does maturity merit wisdom as well?) but a collective of moments throughout our life where we see ourselves and remember a month, five months, a year, ten years ago and think, "Is this where I thought I would be? Am I doing the type of thing I wanted to do then? Where did I change my path and am I doing enough to make a positive impact on others?" I find myself evaluating myself randomly throughout my twenty years of life -- albeit, a week and two days into two decades of life -- and looking at myself and wondering where my path is taking me, am I happy with that path, and what will I do to change the lives of others and help them bring happiness into their lives as such to impact even more people and cause a chain reaction of compassion and deep love for other people.

My way of reaching out to people and changing their lives or the lives of people close to them? Well, maybe not my single means of doing it, but my proven method of connecting to other people so far, if not anything else: writing.

I write my thoughts, I write my will, I write what I feel should be recognised and contemplated and I pour in my hopes that at least one person will take with them the pensive and constant thought of making an impact and cherishing life for nothing is truly stable and time is not something we can truly dissect and understand. My testimony to that? Writing this in another country. I never would have imagined myself here a year ago. I fancied the idea, yes, but going and doing this? Not in a million years.

That's a lot of time.