Signs Of My Son Slipping Out Of Happines

    Not sure how this started or when. All I can remember was noticing that my son didn't want to hang out with his friends anymore. He always made up an excuse for not going to family functions. He was attending school but not absorbing anything. In February of 2008 he did a 360 in a change of attitude. He was angry all the time and tried to sabotage us as a family. At the time I couldn't figure out why he would want to ruin his loving home and environment. We are a close family and he loved being with us.

    He started not coming home after school and wanted us to kick him out of the house. Of course I knew this wasn't my boy talking and therefore I refused to give into what he was aiming for. He wanted us to give up on him so he could wonder aimlessly around depressed. He was fine with the thought of not having a home or a goal and that happiness did not exist for him. When your child goes from loving and always wanting to be with you and share family moments and always trying to succeed and make you proud of them to this? I was shocked to say the least.

  If you are thinking drugs, you are right. They were involved because he was self medicating his depression. Not coming home was his conscious. He didn't want us to see him this way because he knew how much it would break our hearts. We hunted him down everyday and took him home. Not once did he mention drugs to us but we knew. One day he picked a huge fight with us and left the house. Three days went by and still not home. Of course we called the police and they found him. However the law is not on the parents side. We found that out the hard way. At sixteen your child can walk out and you can't stop them. At sixteen they can refuse medical attention. On the other hand they are your responsibility until they are eighteen. Is that justice? So at that point we had a fight on our hands.  We had to get our son home and figure out how to keep him home.

I looked everyday in his room for numbers, suggestions, letters, anything that could help me to understand what was going through his head. I didn't find anything, the odd number but no names and some writing but nothing conquer. My son was running out of options of places to stay and ended up coming home on his own. That was the beginning for him to new options. I talked to him everyday all day if that is what it took. I listened for hours about his struggle to be happy without an apparent reason. He still would go out and doing god knows what, but was coming home. His anger was heightening and he ended up getting somewhat violent. He left again for a week this time. Then he called home wanting to meet with us. We did and he was crying and couldn't believe what he was doing to us and himself. It was then he admitted he was depressed and wanted help.

We took him to the doctor right away and they started medication for him and it was slow but it worked. In the mean time however without my knowledge he pondered suicide. He had the knife and started to cut his wrists but got scared and stopped. It was like the medication was starting to work but not in full effect. A blessing of timing? I'm not sure. Now he is in counseling and on a medication that is working for him and I am starting to see a future for my son. I see happiness again and I see emotion that I thought I would never see in him again. When your child hurts, you hurt. It's taking a lot of courage from us as a family but we are heading to a better place for him.

This was written for parents to know that sometimes there are no signs when your child hits a brick wall. You have to know them inside out to notice the change. My son changed over a period of time before it got so low we didn't know if we could get him back up again. Be aware and communicate about anything they want to talk about and be in tuned to things that they may not come out and say but hinting. Lastly know when they are calling out for help or just choosing the wrong path. There is a huge difference between the two. My son was calling for help. Otherwise he would not be with us here today and wanting to be here. His worries are we will stop loving him if he doesn't succeed to our expectations. The world issues worry him. Having trust in people worries him. I will never know what goes on in his counseling sessions. Maybe I don't want to know everything. Maybe I should just be happy that he is dealing with it. He assures me daily that it's nothing I or his father did, that his home life was wonderful and could not have had it any better. I have to be okay with that. He thanks us everyday that we didn't give up on him and we listened. Depression in teens today is becoming a very big deal. Please read this and know how important it is to me that I put this out there to help anyone going through the same and for myself.