Pie in the Sky (1st Place)

“French cream pie? Out ‘ere? At this outpost? In less than a month? Ya must be crazy!” Leopold exclaimed.

“I’m telling you -- the requisition officer -- that’s what I want. Otherwise you’ll be busted down to private so fast it’ll make a Tackarian Mongoose seem slow!” General Poon glared at Leopold.

Leopold’s eyes grew to moonlike orbs. His mouth stood agape. “It’s impossible. It can’t be done.”

“Well, you’d better make it happen or else. Now, get going before I assign you to garbage detail.”

Leopold leaped from his chair like he had Mukkin fireworks in his pants.

He took the next shuttle to Tackaris. Leopold reasoned that the only way he’d have any chance at all is if some eccentric ordered some. On a planet of 20 million, his odds were at least fifty-fifty he figured. The problem was tracking it down, even if a Tackarian had that fetish.

After a few weeks on public computer terminals and calling in a few favors, he found a shipment that showed promise -- “Fr. Cr. Pie” -- But it was on the other side of the planet. He had four hours, so he sent a message to buy it, and send it by shuttle to the outpost. Leopold got his reply – accepted.

After waiting three hours, the box rested before him. This was the moment of truth. General Poon walked into the room.

“’Ello General. I have your pies.”

The General raised an eyebrow. “Well, open it.”

Leopold lifted the lid. Ten Framicien Cream Pies were stacked inside. Leopold looked at the General. “Two out of three isn’t bad.”

Leopold sat in the detention cell. “Well, I guess this is better. I thought I was going to die. At least I get three meals, and all the Framicien Pies I can eat.”



300 Words
Flash Story Must contain the line: "I thought I was going to die"