Forgiveness

        How many times have you heard the words “I’m sorry” in your lifetime? After bumping into someone, after losing something you borrowed, you may utter a quick “sorry” and then move on with your life. But have you ever thought about what forgiving someone really means? How many times have you truly asked for or given forgiveness? Simply saying the words doesn’t mean that you mean it. There are many considerations that go into asking for or giving forgiveness.

         Forgiveness has a different meaning to different people. My definition is to be able to leave behind wrongs committed against you by another person and move on, while at the same time learning from it. Based on this definition, I would do the opposite of what Simon Wiesenthal did. In his book The Sunflower, Simon talks about his experience with a Nazi soldier on his deathbed. The soldier had asked Simon to forgive him for his crimes against the Jews. Simon, however, does not forgive him, and instead walks out. I on the other hand would have forgiven the soldier. I believe that, like Eva Mozes Kor, I would allow the burden of hate to be lifted off of my shoulders, to allow past events to remain a memory and leave the horrors behind, looking towards enjoying the remainder of my life.

         There are some who believe that they would forgive the soldier as I would. One of these people is a student who responded to Simon’s book. One reason he would forgive the Nazi is “For the sole reason that I would be able to prove that there was still hope and anything good in the world.” This is a good point. Just because the Nazis acted inhumanely, just because they were “evil,” doesn’t mean that you have to sink to that level. You should show that you are the better person, and that they didn’t remove the good in you. Expanding on this idea, the student continues by saying that they “Would show that no matter what suffering and pain the Nazis imposed upon me, they could never take away my compassion, something that is so deep in my character and something they all lacked. The death of my compassion is the death of me.” Again, it is important that you show that there is still good in the world. That although the Nazis attempted to impose fear through pain and suffering that they didn’t completely destroy hope and justice. By forgiving the Nazi, you would show that you have the moral victory of surviving the death camps intact, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. Your compassion, your soul, survived as well as your body. However, the student then says that “By no means would it be easy… the manner in which he asked (for his own benefit, so that he may be comfortable when he died, almost out of convenience and not really because he was sorry)… How he wanted Simon, one Jew, to represent millions… how dare he ask one person, one soul, to speak on behalf of so many? As if they are all the same, one is just as good as the next right? No!” I agree with this view. It seems that this man wanted to feel good about himself before he died; we don’t even know if he was actually sorry. But in order to be humane, we must give the benefit of the doubt that he is being sincere. He might really be feeling guilty. Anne Frank shows us that feeling guilty about wrongs committed against another person can haunt you. Anne’s friend, Lies, was taken away by the Nazis.  Anne hopes that she makes it, because there were many problems between them that Anne wanted to make up for. She feels bad about how she treated Lies, and realizes that she has now gone through many of the same problems as Lies and understands them now, so that she will be able to truly ask for forgiveness and try to make up for it. Finally, the student says that “Forgiveness cannot bridge terrible events in society because forgiveness is something that has to happen within each person on his or her own accord and time.” As this person states, you must be ready to forgive, or it cannot happen. Eva Mozes Kor believes that forgiveness is nothing more than an act of self healing. She feels that being able to forgive someone is a power that cannot be granted or taken away. It makes you feel good, and until you can find this power, you cannot forgive even yourself. It may take time, but once you find this forgiveness, you are able to leave the problem behind as a past chapter in your life that you can learn from. It allows you to remove the pain of the crimes committed against you from your shoulders, and you are able to move on.

         As with most arguments, there are two sides to this story. Some, like another student that responded to Simon’s book, believe that they, unlike me, would not have forgiven the Nazi. His first argument is that “In the first place, I would not have the right to forgive him on behalf of all Jews; I’m just one person. The soldier should not ask one person for forgiveness, because this shows that he sees no difference between different Jews and still has some of his Nazi beliefs.” This is not necessarily true. Just because he asks one Jew doesn’t mean that he still has his Nazi beliefs. He may just select one Jew because he was about to die, and knew that he didn’t have the time or energy to apologize to every Jew. The same thing occurred when Anne reflected on her life. She realizes that she was immature and has faults, and is probably feeling sorry that everyone around her had to deal with that. She wanted to tell someone, but in the same way as the Nazi, wasn’t able to tell everyone. Tensions were high, especially between her and Mrs. Van Daam, to the point where every time someone said something, it was taken as an insult. However, she had to tell someone or something, in this case her diary. This diary ended up being viewed by millions of people; she was able to tell “everybody.” Who knows: this one Jew might have ended up telling his friends or other Jews, who in turn would tell their friends, and so on. Through this one person, he might have gotten his confession out to the public, which ended up happening because of Simon’s book. Next, this student states that “I would have walked out just like Wiesenthal because I do not think he deserved to hear it.” However, he says next that “I read something by a man named Harold Kushner. He felt that people do not have the power to forgive; they can only be forgiven, because it is God who grants forgiveness. I agree with this…” This is a contradiction. How can he agree that people cannot have the power to forgive, yet believe that he has the right to choose if the Nazi deserved forgiveness? If forgiveness truly is a power reserved for God, then he would be the only one who decides who deserves it or not. The student continues by stating that “Kushner also believed in something he called a ‘feedback mechanism,’ meaning that people respond similarly to similar circumstances. This means that if someone has reacted in a certain way, then they will continue to react in the same way when faced with the same circumstances. Therefore, if a man kills someone, they will do the same thing when they are put in the same situation, it is just the person’s nature.” What this person just described is, according to WordNet: stupidity, a poor ability to understand or profit from an experience. If something isn’t working, why would you continue doing it? For example, when a child touches a hot stove, it burns their fingers. If Kushner’s idea is correct, then this child will continue to touch the hot stove, despite the fact that every time they do so, they burn themselves. It just doesn’t make sense. The Nazi won’t automatically kill or hurt a Jew the next time he sees one; he didn’t kill Simon after all. Finally, the student says that “Kushner does not think that forgiveness is a relief for those being forgiven but those who forgive for the people who forgive are letting go of the resentment they feel for the person they are forgiving.” It is true that a person may feel freer without the resent in their mind. Eva Mozes Kor states that after she forgave the Nazis, she felt a ‘burden of pain’ lifted from her shoulders. However, it can also be relieving for those being forgiven as well. This Nazi soldier was obviously attempting to feel that relief before he died and was denied it. I know from experience that when you are forgiven for a wrong that you committed against someone, your guilt instantly disappears and is replaced with an intense feeling of peace and relief. Is it that bad that this Nazi soldier wanted to have these feelings before he died?

         Forgiveness is a powerful thing. It can mean different things for different people. For me, it means to leave behind wrongs committed against you and move on while learning from the experience. In the case of forgiving the Nazi soldier, there are arguments for and against it. I am for forgiving the Nazi. A good reason to forgive the soldier is because it would show that there is still good in the world and that the Nazis have not taken away your compassion, your very soul. We must be able to give this soldier the benefit of the doubt that he is sincere, and help him remove his guilt which, as Anne shows with her experience with Lies, can haunt a person. However, it is important to realize that forgiveness is, according to Eva Mozes Kor, simply an act of self-healing. It is a power that all people have. Before someone can forgive another, this power must be realized, but when it is, the problem can be left behind as a past chapter in your life, and the pain can be removed from your shoulders. On the opposite side of the issue, there are some who wouldn’t forgive the Nazi. They suggest that the soldier believes that one Jew is the same as the next, since he wants Simon, one man, to forgive him of all the crimes he has committed against Jews. Thus he still has his Nazi beliefs. However, it is important to note that the soldier did not have the time or energy to ask for forgiveness from every Jew, as he was dying. Also, Anne shows us that a single source can reveal your story to many others; her dairy was viewed by millions. In the same way, Simon could have told his friends, who would tell there friends and so on, until his apology was widely known. Some who wouldn’t have forgiven the Nazi have pointed to Harold Kushner’s idea of a feedback mechanism; a person faced with the same experience twice while react the same way both times. Thus, the Nazi would have killed the Jews again if given the chance. But this is like saying that if a child touches a hot stove and burns themselves, they will continue to do so. It just doesn’t occur that way. After all, the soldier didn’t kill Simon, and he was a Jew. I have no problem removing the pain of guilt from the Nazi soldier and allowing him to be at peace in his final moments.