King Parbles of the Dragon Li Cats!!

Jingles skulked carefully around Janice, aware of what she’d planned. He’d avoided it twice already. But this time he had been locked in the house for over 30 hours!
Janice’s long skirt wafted straight past Jingles eyes and was scarily replaced by Janice’s chubby face. Her cold podgy fingers clasped a firm hold of the tabby cat.
Jingles wailed and hissed desperately.

“Oh, come now jingles, it’s time to go!”
she spoke impatiently “Now Jingles…stop this charade...Ouch!” Her petite nose had been bitten. She was lucky it was only a means to escape her clutches rather than to cause her damage!
Whilst she was rubbing her nose the cat had gone off the radar!

Taking a hand full of catnip treats she carefully stepped around the apartment, listening for his familiar sound.
Her lips were still puckered together ready to make a kissing sound when her pet flew through the air towards her. He was wearing what looked like blue silk pyjamas.
“Oh my, goodness!” Janice murmured letting the catnip tumble to the floor, her disbelief momentarily nailing her to the spot!

“I know wushu kung fu, lady!” Jingles stood on two legs in a martial arts stance. “Don’t try anything…wushu is a full contact sport!
Janice took a deep breath and started screaming as her legs took off in the direction of the bathroom.
Vigorously splashing her face with water Janice wondered whether her imagination had calmed down.
“Knock knock Janice…we need to talk!” came the mew of her cat.

“Talk? Talk?” she stared hard in the mirror and knew that it was her cat and not her imagination. At that point she felt wobbly so slumped herself onto the toilet seat.
“Janice this is an important conversation we need to have”

Janice remembered how she fell in love with Jingles immediately! She was surprised that the Chinese pet shop owner had allowed such a cheap price, after explaining how rare it was to find such a pedigree in this country!

“What do you want from me Jingles?” it was one thing to speak affectionately to a pet, she thought, but quite another to expect an answer!

“Right there… that name’s terrible!”
“What would you rather?” Janice said throwing her head into her hands.
“King Parbles of the chinese dragon li cats!” Janice heard him say with pride!
“That’s a bit of a mouthful…don’t you think?”
“For a mere human like you, yes! so you may call me King! He continued “Now for the important changes, I am not going to get neutered” he shuddered “I am a rare find in these parts and my bloodline will be lost…also I shall not eat off the floor like some heathen…you shall sit a place for me at the table. I now own your bed though I will allow you to share!” he said checking out his claws. “Also I will not speak again if you adhere to my wishes!”

After a few minutes of silence Janice removed her mobile phone from her pocket. She looked up the previously saved number of the pet shop and began to ring.

“Hello!” came the ladies voice, who sold her the cat!
“ er… I bought a cat from you about three weeks…”
“No, no, no lady you’re stuck with that cat!” the phone went dead.
Janice then rang another number.
“Mr Parsons? Its Janice Palmer I’m cancelling today’s appointment” she said dazedly.
“Can’t find him again?”
“something like that” Janice stammered
“I swear some of these cats understand English!” he laughed.

If only you knew, she thought, if only you knew!