PurpleThings

When one is camping, especially when hiking into the woods, weight frequently becomes an issue. Just because something's purple doesn't mean it's worthy to be stashed with your gear. A savvy camper learns to pack wisely, stocking one's backpack with multipurpose items.

Let's start with the basics. These are the items no camper should be without. First, don't forget a purple sparkly pen, of course. The little critters will be mesmerized by the glitter, allowing one to get a good long look, and possibly even a picture or two of them. And the big critters? It's a well-known fact that they're scornful of any ink but blue or black {being aficionados of Emily Post and her ilk} and will react with scorn and derision and leave the area, muttering "plebeians" under their breath.

Don't forget a pair of purple dangly earrings. Not merely decorative, they will prove essential when used as fishing lures. The trout caught with these babies will be mighty tasty when cooked up at the campsite. Add that eggplant from your cooler, season it with a sprig or two of purple basil and you'll be dining in style!

While we're on the subject of meals, now would be a good time to toss in that gallon of grape juice. As a beverage, it's delicious, but as a craft project, when used to tie dye t shirts for your fellow campers, it's a great icebreaker. Not enough grape juice to go around? Don't worry! That ultraviolet black light fortuitously carted along will make everything glow a lovely shade of purple!

The sounds of nature should, by all means, be enjoyed during one's trip, but there does come a time when even nature can be improved upon. This is when you will be grateful that your stash includes some music. Two obvious suggestions are Prince's Purple Rain or a song by Deep Purple. "Hush", played at sufficient volume, is guaranteed to remind the entire campsite that it's time to be quiet and enjoy the natural surroundings.

All that music is wonderful, but there comes a time when a camper might just want to settle down with a good book. One has several choices here. There's no need to limit yourself to just one. A western like Zane Grey's "Riders of the Purple Sage" is classic, but don't forget the youngsters. Harold and the Purple Crayon may be just the ticket to read as one tucks them in for the night. They still won't settle down? Time to break out the last item in one's gear. A serenade of the beloved "I Love You" sung while wearing Barney's purple dinosaur suit will leave one's fellow campers speechless.