Growing, Growing, Gone

word count: 3,398

There he was, standing in front of everyone he loved so much. So many adoring eyes looked upon him as he made his way across the platform in his blue cap and gown. He reached out his hand to receive the handshake and accept his diploma so neatly tied with red yarn. He had never thought this would play out so happily- graduating was something he had feared for years. His life was so wonderful as it was and now he was being uprooted and shipped across the country to a place they called college. From this moment forward, life would never be the same. Never.


Jonah woke from his dream, groggy from the night before. At eighteen years old, it was assumed he was a typical teenager on the precipice of adulthood. But Jonah Peterson was not typical. Rather than spend his time on self indulgence, Jonah devoted hours daily to his favorite boys in the entire world- the boys of Tree House Orphanage. It was just a block away from his house in Atlanta, and he was glad the neighborhood had undergone a recent revitalization- it made it safer for the boys. Jonah had first encountered Tree House Orphanage on a school-sponsored trip for charity. At first he had felt sorry for them- having been given up by people who did not love them. But then the youngest boy explained better than any adult ever could.

"We weren't given up-" he told Jonah on his first day, "we just got lost."

After that, Jonah decided never to listen to any grown-ups- only the lost boys.

The next week, he had gone back to donate some of his old clothes to the boys. The week after that he had gone back to bring them Christmas presents and blankets donated by his high school. Pretty soon, Jonah was at that orphanage at least once a week, and by his senior year, he had given them all nicknames.

The oldest of the bunch was Tiny. The fifteen-year-old boy stood 6'1" and weighed twice as much as Jonah. The next oldest was Nibbler. He was thirteen and obsessed with every kind of food but his own. He had proudly accepted his nickname after being caught taking bites of everyone's lunch from the kitchen one afternoon. Then there were the twins- Yin and Yang. The eleven-year-old Asian boys didn't mind Jonah's stereotypical nickname for them. They were too fun-spirited to care. It was a quality Jonah tried his hardest to copy, but somehow couldn't get it right. Lastly, there was Baby boy. He was perhaps Jonah's favorite if he had to name one- he was there when Baby Boy had taken his first steps. He was only six but had already spent more years in the orphanage than some. Despite his circumstance, Baby Boy had always been the happiest of babies, toddlers, and now children. His innocence reminded Jonah of a far off place he longed to be- a place where people were good and lives were simple. Jonah never dreamed of crushing his innocence by telling him mothers died, and fathers crushed your dreams, and parents left you on doorsteps. He let Baby Boy live in the simplicity Jonah was never granted.

He loved every one of the boys as if they were brothers of his own; so when Jonah woke up sore and exhausted from last night's activities, he only smiled at the chance to do it again tonight. They had shot off fireworks in the empty lot behind Jonah's apartment complex. He closed his eyes and sent his mind back to that night of laughter and bottle rockets. The faces and voices of the boys came to him easily.

"To celebrate your graduation!" Tiny explained.

"What's a graduation?" Baby Boy asked, his naivete more apparent than ever in his big brown eyes.

Jonah was compelled to answer- to educate Baby Boy on the rules of one's future, so he regrettably launched into something he had always feared. After graduation, things became serious. Life became real. And to be frank, Jonah was having too much fun playing with the orphan kids to step into the real world.

"And then you go to college," Jonah was explaining to the younger ones.

"What college do you go to?" Yang asked. Jonah noticed a look on his face that seemed ready for memory. No doubt he would make a mental note of where Jonah was heading, hoping to follow in his mentor's footsteps.

"None yet. But soon, I'll have to leave and-"

"Grow up," someone chimed in.

The words stung in his ears. The girl's voice would have been like the tinkling of bells if she'd said anything else, but now it sounded like the piercing screech of his alarm clock- his wake up call.

"Yeah Bella," he agreed, "I have to grow up."

The words tasted like bile in his mouth- like thick, sticky medicine being forced down his throat. He choked and looked at Bella. She hadn't meant to upset him, but she did love to see him in turmoil. If only for the chance to comfort him. She was his best friend- like a sister if he'd had one. Bella followed him everywhere, even to Tree House on occasion. That night she surprised him and the other boys by storming in on their "graduation celebration."

"When do you leave?" Nibbler asked.

It was no surprise he was speaking through a mouthful of Twinkie.

"In a month," Jonah answered, not taking his eyes off Bella.

So this was why she had come. To make sure he told the boys the truth about him leaving. She could be a real jerk sometimes. He either loved her or hated her. Maybe that was because she was either a good or bad human being- never anything in between. She smirked at him now, knowing he would have lied had she not made an appearance.

"A month!" Tiny shouted, "But that's so soon!"

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Yin asked. His twin brother Yang's face echoed his disappointment.

"Will you come read to us tomorrow?" Baby boy asked trying to keep his bottom lip from trembling.

Hearing stories was all he had to lose. Life was so simple for the youthful and it struck Jonah with a pang of envy. Jonah had to fight back tears. He'd been with these boys for four years and now he was leaving to go across the country.

"I'll read to you everyday until I have to leave."

It was one of the boys' favorite things Jonah did. They loved it when he stopped by with a handful of books. They loved it even more when he stopped by with no books at all and just made up a story as he went along. They were usually about knights, and pirates, and eminent peril. They lived for it.


Jonah re-lived that evening through five snooze alarms. Then it was too late to deny that he had to wake up and leave his dreams behind. He dragged himself out of bed, showered, put on his best dress shirt and tie and donned the cap and gown. He tried to avoid looking at himself in the mirror, knowing it would break his heart. On his way down the stairs for breakfast, he saw Bella walking in the front door.

"Don't you knock anymore?" Jonah laughed.

"I haven't knocked since our second play-date."

It was true. Jonah and Bella had been inseparable since they were five years old. As much as she annoyed him, she was practically family, giving her the open-door policy. She was welcome to come and go as she pleased. And his father had a terrible soft spot for her sparkling eyes. Jonah made his way over to the pan of scrambled eggs his father had left. No doubt he had already gone to work, being a productive member of society trapped in a cubicle. That's what college had gotten him- not freedom... imprisonment.

He remembered the last conversation they'd had about adulthood. It was only a month ago and Jonah had just put dinner on the table. His father was removing his tie with his good hand- he'd lost use of the other in an accident a few years ago. Something in his father changed that day. Whatever shred of happiness that was left after his mom's passing was eradicated the day his dad lost his hand. Jonah's mother had been a wonderful woman with a wonderful spirit, and he prayed he had inherited her heart and not his father's. Though his father once viewed life in a positive light, it did not show on his face now. He was a man hardened by the world- by death, by work, by raising a son. He called it "growing up" but Jonah called it giving up.
That day, Jonah served his father his favorite dish, but it wasn't enough bribery to keep him from talking to his son about the future. He told Jonah as he draped his crimson tie over the back of the chair,
"All boys grow up, Jonah."

His father had tried his best to seem sympathetic, but Jonah knew what his dad wanted. He wanted Jonah to work for the company just as he had for the past twenty-five years. A chip off the old block.
Jonah was torn. If he followed one path, he would work for the same, boring people his father did and retire one day with a few pennies to call savings. The other path took Jonah across the country to a prison disguised as a university. It would take him away from the children, but it would also take him far away from the man lecturing him now. Either path was a dead end.

"I don't want to be like you, Dad!" Jonah expressed.

"You can't play games for the rest of your life. You have to realize that daydreams get you nowhere and life is more than a game. There's no reset, no skip a turn, nothing."

"Just because you got stuck with a life you hate, doesn't mean I have to be bitter about it."

That had been the last straw. His dad reached across the table and gave him a left hook with his good hand. Since that day, Jonah had hardly spoken to his father.

Jonah now looked at the pictures hanging on the wall behind the dining room table. There was a picture of his dad twenty years younger, seated with his mother. He looked happy- an emotion Jonah hadn't seen since his mother had passed away. Suddenly, Jonah's focus changed and it was his own face he saw in the reflection of the glass.

"You look very grown up," Bella mocked as she examined his bright blue cap and gown. She held her own in her hand.

"Aren't you going to put yours on?"

"Are you kidding? I'm not graduating today."

He was glad he hadn't put any eggs in his mouth yet or else he would have spewed them across the kitchen.

"You failed last semester? Bella, your parents will kill you!"

"No they won't because I didn't fail. I passed with flying colors. But you can still get your diploma without walking in the ceremony, you know..."

He didn't like the grin on her face.

"What are you planning?"

"Everything you've ever wanted Jonah. Come on, we're going to see the boys at Tree House."

She grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door. His feet were barely touching the ground as they ran down the block with his bright blue gown billowing behind him. He held onto his cap with his free hand and ran as fast as he could to keep up with her- she was flying. They skidded around the familiar corner and came upon the stoop Jonah had grown so accustomed to seeing. He could run this route blind-folded and still end up in the game room where he hung out with all the boys; but today, the game room looked a little different. The platform on which his usual story-telling chair sat was now covered in a large black cloth, giving the whole room a more formal feel. The game tables had been pushed against the four walls and were replaced by chairs of all sizes and colors. Some were splattered with paint from Baby Boy's artwork no doubt. Some legs were bent just slightly from where Tiny had sat.

Jonah's jaw dropped as he looked to the center of the platform and saw a podium. Nibbler was behind it. Jelly from the morning's breakfast clung to his chin, but he didn't seem to notice. The other boys were scattered about in the chairs facing the podium. Jonah turned to ask Bella what was going on, and he noticed she was already wearing a cap and gown of her own. The golden tassel hung from the left side of her cap, obscuring one soft blue eye from Jonah's view. He moved the tassel aside so that he could see her eyes and demand the truth.

"What are we doing here?"

"We're graduating, you silly ass."

She shoved him away with a smile and turned him in the direction of the platform. He looked to the podium and Nibbler beckoned him forward with his hand.

"Let's get this show on the road!" Yin and Yang shouted with impatience.

Jonah ran as fast as he could to the edge of the platform. He looked over his shoulder to see the chairs filled with children- some he had never seen before. Tree House's director stood in the back corner smiling and crying at the same time if that was even possible. Soon, Bella was by his side next to the platform, and his favorite lost boys were pleased to see their fearless leader filled with gratitude.

There he was, standing in front of everyone he loved so much. So many adoring eyes looked upon him as he made his way across the platform in his blue cap and gown. He reached out his hand to receive the handshake and accept his diploma so neatly tied with red yarn. He had never thought this would play out so happily- graduating was something he had feared for years.

"Jonah!" Nibbler called his name as he left the platform.

The boys applauded with their tiny hands, and Jonah laughed at the lack of use of his last name. Nibbler didn't trouble his thoughts with such irrelevant things as last names. Jonah was learning more every moment about the important things in life; but it wasn't from those older and wiser than himself. It was from the young at heart- the truly wise.

"Bella!" Nibbler called again as Bella made her way to the podium to receive her hand-made diploma decorated with glitter glue and pink crayon.

The small crowd clapped and cheered and made their way to the back of the room where the Tree House director revealed a beautifully crafted cake.

"Thank you for everything," she said as she hugged Jonah tightly.

"The best part is yet to come," Bella smiled. She knew something, and it made Jonah wary.

"Don't worry," the director laughed, "It's just a little thank you. Bella did most of the fund-raising."

Bella held out her hand and Jonah looked at her open palm in which sat one airplane ticket.

"I figured you could start in London," Bella explained.

She knew him better than anyone. Back-packing across Europe was an adventure he had dreamed about as a young teenager and at fourteen, Bella promised she would make it happen one day. Today was that day. He knew her too well to know her college savings fund had remained intact. Jonah was about to protest when Bella interrupted, as if reading his thoughts.

"You deserve it Jonah. After all you've done for these boys... and for me."

Jonah could see she was about to cry so he hugged her tightly, holding the tears in with his strong arms around her torso. Maybe if he held her long enough he would not have to see her cry. Nothing made his heart break more than seeing his best friend in such a state.

"You're the best person I've ever known and if anyone deserves a shot at life, it's you," she sniffled against his graduation gown.

"And I swear if you get cold feet and miss that flight, I'll kill you."

Bella was returning to her old self- gone was her sappy side. Jonah laughed and imagined landing in London to begin a journey he would remember for a lifetime; and it was all because of his Bella. Jonah beamed at the thought of finally seeing Kensington Gardens. He wasn't sure why, but he felt he had been there before- perhaps in his sweetest of dreams.

Bella pulled back from Jonah's embrace and crossed her arms over her chest, holding in the tears with her own arms now.

"I told the boys you would read to them some other time. They want you to go and have a real adventure- like the ones you tell them in your stories," Bella assured.

Jonah didn't know what to think. These orphaned boys were more of a family than anything he'd ever known. He had no idea where to begin in thanking them. All the stories in the world couldn't make up for what they had given him.

"What about you?" Jonah asked Bella.

She had been with him for years and the thought of leaving her behind, even for a few months, was hard to imagine.

"I'll be working here while you're gone. The director offered me a summer job until I leave for college."

He gave her a bittersweet smile knowing she was leaving soon; but growing up was something she wanted, and she understood it was not Jonah's wish. He was also envious of the extra time she would get to spend with the boys. She sensed his jealousy and playfully punched his arm.

"Don't worry. There will be a full-time job waiting for you when you get back."

"What?" he stammered.

"The surprise had to be revealed sometime. The director told me just this morning she wants you to come work for Tree House. She said the position is open as long as you want it."

"Are you kidding?" he yelled with excitement. "Of course I want it! It's all I've ever wanted!"

He had to kiss her then. She was too good to be true. As much as he hated her sometimes, Bella could really be an angel when she wanted to be. He picked up her tiny frame in a tight hug and spun her around until they were both dizzy.

"You better say your goodbyes and get packing. That plane leaves tomorrow."

Jonah did as he was told and made the rounds among Tiny, Nibbler, Yin and Yang, and Baby Boy. He would miss them while he was gone, but it helped knowing they wanted him to have new adventures. He was a very adventurous spirit and he promised to have hundreds of stories to tell them when he got back.


The next day he boarded the plane. As it took off, his spirit took off with it. He relaxed in his seat not sure why he loved the feeling of flying so much. He was soaring above the clouds, riding the wind's back. He was truly happy. As if escaping the traps of death, Jonah had successfully avoided becoming a dull grown-up. No matter his age, his heart would be forever youthful. He closed his eyes and dreamt of the things he would see and the stories he would tell for years to come at Tree House Orphanage. And though he anticipated his return home, his spirit would never leave the sky. It would never land- continuously flying from planet to planet amongst the stars. Jonah wanted to forget all the unhappy things that had happened in his lifetime- the death of his mother, the transformation of his father, the terrible sides of Bella, the unfortunate circumstance of the boys of Tree House. All of it was forgotten, and he vowed to never let his spirit land on the ground it had so thankfully left.

"Never, never land," he wished.