Two souls

I managed to let the curtains be withdrawn today. This idea to have them open should have been a completely normal line of thought, but it had been a guided line, made by ever reoccurring friends over the last few weeks. I can live in darkness, light warded off by the curtains, and the windows closed to give an extra sense of privacy. The air growing stale with its lack of circulation used to go unnoticed by me, as I sat for hours by the computer screen. This on the other hand, never went well with my friends. Curtains got flung back, and windows needed to be opened to its fullest for them to stomach staying for long.

I wanted them to stay, of course. Ever since my anxiety attacks started to not let me leave my house, the need for company grew ever stronger. I had gotten used to not trying, or testing, my new captivity by now, and better yet, so had most of my friends. Erik still had that aggravating need to fix everything, and that included this. And with these lessons, I now sat comfortably in my chair, looking out of my window. Our garden screened me reasonably at any rate, and so it had grown on me not to shut the world out. I just had no intentions of joining it.

Frida had given me a plant some weeks past, called it a flower of some sort, but I paid little attention to that little detail. Her idea was great though. I had the constant need to give it both sunlight and fresh air, so that it might come to pass that she did not have to wrinkle her nose, when she entered my humble abode some time in the future. It never seemed to blossom though.
"Just give it ample sunlight, fresh air and water. And talking to them is supposed to help as well," she said when I asked her what I did wrong. I snorted and laughed at this of course, but she just arched her eyebrow and smiled.

Sunlight filled the garden in front of the house, and streamed in through my window. I had one of those long windows where only one half opens. It was a warm and perfect summers day outside, and everything buzzed and blossomed.
"Hrmpf!" I glanced at the plant in the window sill.
"Bet you'd like to be outside as well? Tasting the world from the window suits no kind of soul."
I started wondering if plants really had a soul, as I leaned back and felt the sun warm my face. The mind wandered to contemplating where I could have left my sunglasses this time, before giving myself a shrug, and just closed my eyes instead.
"Never mind, I can sit here just as fine," I mused to the plant, smilingly.

The world outside was full of sounds, as it went about its everyday business. It started to come to life, as the working hours stopped holding people hostage.
"Wonder if I'd get any colour this way? What do you think? You have at least grown wonderfully green at least, just missing that budding flower by now." I looked up. The plant did nothing of course.

I raised and rested my feet on a small table standing below the plant. It used to stay there, when I closed off everything for the night.
"You know, its gotten awfully silent these last days. Assignments, work loads and demanding girlfriends seem to have made everyone forget me a little. Not that it matters so much, I like solitude as much as not. Like you I can grow anyway." I had the sudden spurt of remembering something, and glanced up at a shelf above my computer. The sunglasses could barely be seen among some clutter at the edge of it, and grunting at the need to leave my comfort, I got up.
"Wish we could get a little company soon though. Hopefully Frida could visit without everyone else coming along. We are always together as a group these days." I placed the sunglasses on my nose, blinking as I tried to look for my notepad.
"I like it when I get to just converse about everyday crap with only one of them present. Happens often enough when Erik misses his bus home for the evening. I should put a name tag on that spare bed by now." I grinned, as I at least found a working pen on my bed.
"Why are you here of all places?" I asked it rhetorical, amused that I had started letting my thoughts escape out through my mouth. "Been long since I talked with just Frida. She's such a wonderful person, never understood why that idiot managed to cheat on her. I'd never stop loving her as such." Feeling a little extra warmth in my face, I distracted my thoughts with the notion that looking for things indoors with my sunglasses on, was really stupid. I hoisted them up until they got stuck in my hair, and took a renewed search for that damned notebook.

"I would soon be desperate enough to start talking to my brother, if this keeps up. Doubt it though. We're still only at grunts if we meet in the hallway, or kitchen. Stupid thing to split us apart from any small friendship we had to begin with. A house! A stupid little inherited house we never managed to agree on how share. Can you believe that? Aha!" I found my quarry, and snatched in from under a pile of plates.

"You know, talking to one self is a sign of insanity?"
I jumped, and whirled around to see Frida lean in the window with a victorious smile on her face.
"I already am crazy, if you remember." I laughed back at her, "but I was talking to the plant this time." Winking, I gestured to the plant.
"I heard," she said firmly with an odd spark in her smile. "I'll just go right on in," She said fast and walked off. I started to wonder how much she had heard, but a smile began to appear on my face, as I realized I would tell her any way.