The Person He Is

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today." - Stacia Tauscher. I was scanning the internet the other day, and I found this quote. I felt that it definitely described my life.
As of late, I have been realizing many things about my son, Carter. He is six years old, and he's my entire world. My husband, Brian, and I had an incredibly difficult time having Carter. We spent months and countless dollars on treatments, trying to create a life. Finally, a treatment stuck, and nine months later, Carter Nicholas Merrill was born. He was beautiful, from his dark hair to his blue eyes to his perfect fingers and toes. I think the fact that Carter is my only child has made me make him into my own little mini-me. I try to do everything in a way that I would want him to mimic. And for these six years, I have believed that this was the right way to do things, that using myself as a model was the thing to do for my precious son. But I realized something in the past couple of days. Carter started kindergarten two days ago. I thought that he would continue on the path I've been making for him since he was born. I believed that he would keep being "Mama's Little Man". But today, I got a call from Carter's teacher. She called to tell me that Carter had been acting out in class. I was dumbfounded, because Carter had been nothing but polite and very much the little gentleman at home, around me. His teacher, a young woman who spoke only in kindness, (most likely out of fear of angry parents), suggested that maybe this bad behavior was based on what he was seeing in the classroom. Suddenly it hit me. I had been trying all of these years to make him into me, and I was attempting to make him into an adult. Carter is not an adult, and right now, he is his own little person. He learns new things every day, and he has his own reactions and fears and loves and dreams, and they are all his own. I realized that everything about Carter, besides his chromosomes, is all him. I have not made him what he is. His own mind and thoughts have made him into his own, wonderful person with his own personality and faults and incredible qualities. And the last thing I realized was that I cannot wait to see how he turns out. I will guide with the most loving hand that I can, and hope that I have made a good impression, and then all I can do is wait to see what my incredible son becomes. Today, when I saw this quote, I felt attached to it, like it had come from my own mind. Because I was trying to make the future for Carter my worry, and in the process, I overlooked what an amazing person he is today.