Lament and joy of a parent in the company of the divine Parent of the soul. |
God, don’t you ever get tickled with the likes of us, chasing our tails in the hunt of your grace, when you sit in our very souls, your gift to us resting in the palms of your hands? Doesn’t it frustrate you to hear us, your children, praying to you for a hand to lift us to safety while ignoring the hand held out to us as if there was really a difference between you, our family, and the hand of a stranger wearing unfamiliar skin? God, doesn't it ever sadden you to see your children fight over crumbs, and kill over who can be called your chosen people because we cannot believe you could love us all at the same time, without condition or restraint? As I look back at my children in the rear view mirror, fighting over who gets to tell me first about their day, even this saddens me, for how could I possibly decide without one feeling somehow less in the process? Do you ever feel that way too? When I hold out my hand to my fallen child and my little one says “No mommy, I don’t need you. I want to do it myself,” even my heart is sore from the wounding. And every time I make a careless mistake and the world doesn't crash down around me, or when I say something that could be taking wrong and someone understands my intent, rather than focusing on my words, I have to whisper “Thank you” for that little note of grace, forgiveness echoing from my soul, your little message, perhaps? For isn’t that the music of a parent’s joy when our children finally understand that all they need to do is ask and be forgiven and most of all, that they will never truly be lost or alone? |