My angel

I went with what felt like forever not going to my father's house

Every time I would attempt my legs would seem to give out

One day, I would be able to stand like a man and face him

It's not that I wasn't a man, I just wasn't man enough

I felt like I owed him everything with years of his teaching never taught

He brought plenty gifts but I never could chock up a "thank you."

And on Christmas sometimes I never even bother to praise him



When his name was brought up, I let my silence speak

When asked about him, I exposed my ignorance

I dearly wanted to tell my mother, maybe he doesn't love me

Every time he would talk to me, I disregarded his words

The scar from our relationship thicken with the passing of years



The year of my 18th birthday came and he wanted to share it with me

Feeling more like a better person, I uttered the words "I love you."

My eyes became glass as I looked up at him

His son was weeping with emotion and couldn't hold it back

This year marked us rekindling our connection, I imagined

Soon it became a fiasco, going against his words again



I got to a point of no return and no remorse

I shunned all his words and teaching along with his love

There were times were I even bad mouthed him

Even so, he remained the better one still loving me

Which at times only made me angry, killing me with kindness

He continued to shower me with gifts, love and wise words of encouragement



Finally, he sent me something I will cherish forever

One of his best of gifts, a person, a women

I didn't understand what this gift was for

She was passionate, thoughtful, faithful and beautiful

Her words spoken softly in my ears at the latest of nights

And in the earliest of morning she turned and whispered "I love you."

I was weaken by the grace of her soul, I gave in and gave her me



She asked me about my relationship with my father

I gave her our history with explanation

She assured me going to his house and reviving our relationship was worth everything

At first my decision was to stand stubborn without any efforts

She told me even if I wasn't to get on better terms, he will always love me

I continued with my idiotic thoughts and she expressed deep passion that confined my remarks

It was at that moment and the few seconds that followed I realized the great strength of my father

His strength was her strength,His love was her love, He used her to get to me!

He worked in ways that were unexplainable but they worked every time

I knew what I had to do



My only question was "will he forgive me?"

If he does, do I truly deserve it?

As I approached his house, I felt my heartbeat and soul lift

The doors opened and I sat in front of him like I was never missing

Beside me sat the women he blessed me with, my angel

We both held hands and listened to his reinforced words

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I cried in the inside with my awaken spirit

The essence of my being was sobbing from the abandonment of my love for my father

And when I breathed I breathed deeply for my air was his air

I breathed for both of us and relieved my sorrow

Though I know, I am in his debt forever and ever



I thanked my father and also my angel but I know words can never say the thank you they deserve


Thank you lord

Amen