a poem of sadness spawned from an email

lights
too many, turn them off, they hurt the darkness in my soul
'I wish you looked different'
the words stab me, like leaden spikes
'I still like the way you are'
but it's not enough
swirling phrases surround the room
'different' 'the way you look' 'more interesting'
'sexier'
the light
it pierces me
don't let it kill me
consume me
don't let me fall
thank god you don't love me for my looks
from what you said, I'm not enough for you
but I had expected that
you could have anyone if you tried
did you find someone better?
you don't know
how many nights I lie awake and wish I was perfect for you
but I'm not
turn off the lights
they burn my heart
click
they're gone