Notes for Umberth College

Notes for Umberth College
“BUNHS-718”
         “Officially” stands for Biohazard: Upper New Hampshire Supervirus.  The 718 stands for 7:18pm, the approximate time that the plague was first discovered.  This is what the populace at large at Umberth believes.  The cover-up is completed by the government, stating to the world at large that the people who died in a small village near the Canadian border had in fact died of hypothermia and extreme cold, which had been plaguing the East Coast at that time.  Lady Umbert later discovered an antivirus that saved thousands of lives.
         
         BUNHS-718 attaches itself to an afflicted’s DNA, so every person’s disease is a little different.  However, there are three overall strains of BUNHS-718.  The first and once the most common was strain Alpha, that of biological recession- the ‘youthening’ effect.  Both males and females could get strain Α, though it is far more common in males.  The second form is strain Beta, which is the Unbirther/Carrier effect.  Only females can normally get strain Β.  The third, strain Gamma, is actually the result of Dr. Umbert’s antivirus.  It is a slower, less virulent strain of BUNHS-718 strain Α.  Strain Γ is the most common today, a controlled version of strain Α.

         Strain Α BUNHS-718 causes a sudden youthening effect, dependant on the body’s natural pH and metabolism.  The slower the metabolism, the faster it works (so fat people get younger faster, as do people who sweat a lot).  This strain is fatal within a few weeks, often less, as the body regresses to infant and younger, with his or her organs regressing until unusable.  Strain Α, when exposed to the healing action of strain Β BUNHS-718, halts it’s youthening process, but does not restore age to normal.  It is notable that Purple Cord Syndrome does not occur in strain Α BUNHS-718.  Strain Α was an airborne virus, now eradicated.

         Strain Β BUNHS-718 was not a side-effect of Dr. Umbert’s antivirus strain, as is commonly believed.  It is a naturally-occurring secondary effect of strain Α BUNHS-718.  It is not entirely known why some females developed strain Β instead of strain Α.  The symptoms of strain Β are similar to strain Γ, with the addition of a widened pelvis, elastic skin and reproductive organs, and a heightened sense of motherhood or maternity.  When a person (even a non-BUNHS infected person) is exposed to the inner workings of a strain Β (her womb), his or her body will actually form an umbilical bond to the host to regenerate youthened tissue, returning a strain Β or Γ to their former age.  This in turn invigorates the unbirther’s strain Β metabolism, making her stronger, more agile, and all-around healthier.  It is important to note that victims of strain Β BUNHS-718 still undergo the youthening effect as might a strain Γ, unless they are themselves subjected to a strain Β womb or if they heal a strain Α, Β, or Γ victim.  Unfortunately, prolonged exposure to the single person’s strain Β or Γ strain of BUNHS-718 (a few days usually) can result in Purple Cord Syndrome for the unbirthee.  Strain Β is a mutation of strain Α and is spread via those carriers.  Strain Β is not ‘catching’ on its own.  The only exception to this is when a carrier is genetically similar to the victim (cousins, siblings, children, etc.)  In this case, Strain Β can be passed on genetically.

         Strain Γ BUNHS-718 was designed as a ‘retrovirus’ of strain Α, created by Dr. Lady Umbert.  It actually has the same effect on the body as strain Α, but on a much slower timeframe.  In effect, this minimized strain builds up the chemicals that cause the youthening effect, actually triggering the effect when the chemicals reach toxic levels.  It is important to note that there are very few strain Γ females- most become strain Β instead. As with strain Α, strain Γ is effected by metabolism.  Strain Γ is transmitted sexually and genetically.

“Purple Cord Syndrome”
There are 5 broad symptoms associated with Purple Cord Syndrome (PCS), each with several variations:
A.          Asexual Mutation
1.          The victim’s chromosomes related to reproduction are altered, effectively becoming a member of the opposite sex.  The victim gains reproductive organs of the opposite sex and may then use them as if they had always been a member of that sex.  It is possible for the victim to impregnate or become pregnant, dependant on their revised gender.  Victims of this sort often suffer from type B1 or B2 complications as well.  This transformation takes several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim usually results in cellular breakdown and death.
2.          The victim’s chromosomes related to reproduction are stripped, effectively becoming a neuter.  The victim has no sexual organs and can never ovulate, carry, or sire children of their own.  Most such victims are sexually effeminate, lacking tell-tale signs of any gender.  Victims of this sort often suffer from type B1 or B2 complications as well.  This transformation takes several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim usually results in cellular breakdown and death.
3.          The victim’s chromosomes related to reproduction are doubled, effectively becoming a double-male or double-female.  The victim may or may not have two sets of visible sexual organs, or one set that is doubled in size.  It is possible for a female to gain a second set of breasts (on the same horizontal plane) or double-sized breasts.  It is also possible to develop two vaginas and/or uteri (one atop the other), and to become pregnant in one, months after conception in the other.  It is possible for a double-female with strain Β to use either or both wombs for their healing abilities. Likewise, it is possible for a male to have two penii (one atop the other), and/or four testicles (behind each other, or all in the same scrotal sac).  Males with type A3 may have twice the volume of sperm at ejaculation, or the ability to perform sexually again, immediately following ejaculation. Victims of this type often suffer from type B1 or B2 complications as well.  This transformation takes several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim usually results in cellular breakdown and death.
4.          The victim’s chromosomes related to reproduction are mutated and doubled, effectively becoming a hermaphrodite.  While the victim has the visible outward sexual organs of both sexes, one or both of these sets of organs do not function properly.  It is possible for a mutation to occur in which a hermaphrodite can ovulate, only to have it expelled from the penis as might sperm.  Victims of this type often suffer from type B1 or B2 complications as well.  This transformation takes several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim usually results in cellular breakdown and death.
5.          The victim’s chromosomes related to reproduction are mutated and doubled, effectively becoming a hermaphrodite.  The victim has two independent sets of sexual organs and can both ovulate and carry children, and sire children of their own.  It is possible for a type A5 to impregnate itself.  Victims of this type often suffer from type B1 or B2 complications as well.  This transformation takes several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim usually results in cellular breakdown and death.
B.          Biological Regression
1.          Victim is reduced to pre-birth, and loses all memories. Effectively becomes a new person, and must be cared for as any newborn.  In most cases, the victim’s old life is considered ‘dead’, and the host becomes the victim’s new parent.
2.          Victim is reduced to pre-birth, and retains some or all memories.  Victim must be cared for as a newborn, despite years of experience.  Victim must be re-taught to walk and talk, but otherwise may grow up as themselves.
3.          Victim is reduced to pre-birth, and the genes responsible for growth are stripped.  In effect, the victim will never age again, and must remain in the womb.  Victims with type B3 complication that are introduced to the world again, either by birth or Caesarean section, will forever be a premature infant that must be cared for by machine.  Such victims usually die within a year or so outside the womb.
C.          Cellular Division
1.          Victim is reduced to pre-birth, and is literally split into two or more identical or near-identical fetuses.  It is possible for one or more of these fetuses to suffer further PCS mutation, including further cases of type C.  These children lose all memories of the victim, and effectively become ‘new’ people.  In most cases, the victim’s old life is considered ‘dead’, and the host becomes the new children’s parent.  This transformation can take several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim results in conjoined twins at best, cellular breakdown and death at worst.
2.          Victim is reduced to pre-birth, and is literally split into two or more identical or near-identical fetuses.  It is possible for one or more of these fetuses to suffer further PCS mutation, including further cases of type C.  Some or all of the victim’s memories may be split or shared between the children.  It is possible for multiple identical copies of the victim to result from this variation. This transformation can take several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim results in conjoined twins at best, cellular breakdown and death at worst.
3.          Victim is reduced to pre-birth, and is literally split into two or more identical or near-identical fetuses.  Unlike type C1 or C2 complications, DNA from the host and DNA introduced while the victim is in the womb can ‘bleed in’ to the victim, effectively changing the natural parentage of the victim.  It is possible for one or more of these fetuses to suffer further PCS mutation, including further cases of type C.  These children gain traits normally associated with the host and other donors. This transformation can take several months to accomplish, and early extraction of such a victim results in conjoined twins at best, cellular breakdown and death at worst.
D.          Dessimation
1.          The victim dies in the womb of the host, and is literally dessimated and absorbed into the bloodstream.  White blood cells attempt to fight off the victim’s intruder DNA, overtaxing the host’s immune system.  Massive lesions and tumors grow over all major organs of the host, who usually dies soon afterward.
2.          As type D1, except that the host survives and recovers from the victim’s intruder DNA.  No trace of the victim remains.
3.          As type D1, except that the host survives by assimilating parts of the victim’s DNA.  Can only happen when victim and host are already blood related.  Former host can pick up ‘quirks’ normally associated with the victim, and claims of transposed memories have been reported.
E.          Elimination
1.          The victim develops antibodies that prevent a host’s strain Β mutation from functioning properly.  Victim continues to suffer the youthening effects of BUNHS-718 until death.
2.          Victim overcomes BUNHS-718 completely and no longer suffers its effects.  Victim is still a carrier of the virus, but never again needs a host to regenerate; the victim is ‘cured’.  This is the most rare variation of them all.

“V-V”
V-V is a technical term that means Vaginal Variance, a number given to type Betas to indicate their ability to control their vaginal and uterine muscles. 
In the game (which I still don’t have a good name for), it is important that a player be able to release a ball they are carrying at any time.  They keep a ‘carried’ ball in their vagina, not their womb.

The breakdown of V-V is as follows:
0          No control above that of a ‘normal’ woman.
1          Very little control.  Will pull a blitz ball (or anything else) directly into the womb.
2          Some control.  Can hold a blitz ball in the vagina for limited periods of time.
3          Good control.  Can hold a soccer ball in the vagina for limited periods, or a blitz for extended periods.
4          Excellent control.  Can hold either ball in their vagina or womb and retrieve it easily.
5+          Superb control.  Can manipulate an object with ease- turning it, etc.

The numbers continue to 10, though few ‘normal’ type betas ever go beyond a 6.  At 8, a beta can actually hide an unbirthed victim, looking no bigger than a full-term pregnant woman.  10 is a theoretical limit that has never been reached, wherein a type beta may literally turn herself inside out, or stretch to the limits of her skin, with relative ease.
VV is also is a nickname for Genevive Ramsey (ala Veevee), at least to Nurse Bailey Shannon.  It is also a term used by voraphiles for Vaginal Vore, another concept of unbirthing most related to PCS type D.

“N.A.N.N.I”
Stands for “Non-Army Neo-Natal Infantry”, a concept that sprung up from the earliest cases of BUNHS.  Basically, a type Beta could be assigned to a MASH unit as a kind of ‘holding chamber’ for the most severe injuries.  As type Betas tended to heal those they carried, this was a logical step.  Unfortunately, PCS and the risk of spreading the disease never let this become a practical application of the disease.

Schools in the League
         1. Umberth College, New Hampshire.  Mascot: Bandicoots.  Colors: Blue and Gold.
         2. St. Anne Finishing School for Girls, Quebec.  Notably, Saint Anne, grandmother of Jesus, was the patron saint of Quebec even before 1964.  She is also patron to pregnancy, pregnant women, and most recently- unbirthing.  This is an all-girls school located just north of the border from New Hampshire, in a (fictional) town that is no longer officially on the map.  Mascot: Saints.  Colors: Purple and Silver.
         3. Aslington Junior College, New Hampshire.  Literally a stone’s throw from rural Maine.  Mascot: Quoll (Ozzie Cats).  Colors: Maroon and Silver.
         4. Coos Military Academy, New Hampshire.  One of the first to officially allow girls into the academy, for reasons that remain nameless to the Untold.  Relatively close to Pittsburgh, New Hampshire.  Mascot: Tasmanian Devils (Devils). Colors: Red and Black.
         5. Académie Leventre.  Literally straddles the borders between New Hampshire, Maine, and Quebec; this is the only school that is partially in Maine.  Mascot: Wallabies.  Colors: Gold and Green.
         6. Tennyston Reform School, New Hampshire.  A ‘Reform School’ in name only; this school boasts the longest winning streak in Blitz in the league.  Mascot: Hallows (Jack-o-lanterns).  Colors: Black and Orange.
         7. Vieiller College, Quebec.  Dangerously close to ‘civilization’; this school is fairly new.  Mascot: Ringtails.  Colors: Black and Silver.

There may be more schools than this- BUNHS was tested extensively in Alaska and northern Canada, as well as an case in Greenland caused by the sinister Dr. Robin.  It is possible that sometime during the Cold War, the USSR might have acquired some as well, so there might be cases in Russia or other former Soviet states.

Important Characters
STUDENTS
Jennifer Charlotte Rocca (Jen), lead female.  Not infected with BUNHS-718 (as far as she knows).
Bernnadette Dunn (Bernni), a hermaphrodite student, formerly known as Bernard Pierce.  Dated Rebecca Dunn, hir current mother.  Has not yet met Jen and company.  Lead herm in hir own threads.
Dan Hart, another student in Jen’s History class.
Damon Sharpe, yet another student in Jen’s History class.
Genevive Ramsey (Gen), the ‘Big Green Pillows’, the uber-busty, uber-tall redheaded roommate with only half a braincell.  One half of the ‘Dynamic Duo of Dumb’, ‘Tweedle D and Tweedle Double D’, and numerous other insults.
Gina Tendo, fourth year at Umberth.  Jen’s fast friend and roommate.
Ginger Ramsey (Ginnie), Gen’s twin sister, just as tall, busty, and brain-dead. The other half of the DDoD, et al.
Nina Puchan, a ‘Gamma’ girl in Jen’s History class. (Ninpu is Japanese for ‘pregnant’, while -chan means girl)
Raelee ???, an unbirth bully.
Ronald Guest (Ron), son of the Phys Ed teacher. (a Guest, get it?)
Rowena Atkinson (Ronnie), a rival of Gina’s.  Likes to steal beds? (not related to Mr. Bean)
Sophia Jumeaux, African-French-Canadian first year game player, very rude to Jen.  (Sophia is a Roman goddess of fertility, and Jumeaux is french for ‘twins’.  She probably has a brother)
Cartwright and Matka, last names of teammates. (Matka is Russian for ‘womb’; a cartwright is a maker of carts, or carriage devices- thus 'carriers')
Several other game players.
Several other students in scene, with no names.

STAFF
Mr. Matt Fodsel, Science Professor.  Married to the History Teacher.  Literally wrote the book on the history of Umberth, BUNHS, and Dr. Umbert.  (mat fødsel is Norwegian for ‘not birth’ or ‘unbirth’)
Coach Thomas Guest, Phys Ed teacher and coach of the Umberth Bandicoots Blitz team.
Mrs. Ann Mott-Fodsel, the History Teacher.  Married to the Science Professor.  Claims to be the first infected.
Ms. Beatrice Solre, Dean of the College.  (‘B’ is the 7th note in a musical scale, so ‘ti’; tisolre is Solresol (a language invented in the 19th century based on music) for ‘belly’)
Dr. Lady Umbert, creator of the whole mess.  More on her later.
Ms. Tracy Zdeike (Ms. Stick), pronounced ‘zdihk’.  She is the secretary.  Knew Becky Dunn when she was a student.
Miss Bailey Shannon, nurse.  A heavyset gal with an accent similar to the DDoD, but much heavier.  Actually a true N.A.N.N.I., though the girls don’t know that yet.  (a ‘bailey’ is a bathing suit in Australia.  Shannon is a Celtic goddess of fertility)

OTHERS
Dr. Jonathan Robin, a very bad man who kidnapped BUNHS-infected girls in the 1980s and performed experiments on them.  Was the leading expert on PCS until his unethical practices were uncovered.
Rebecca Dunn (Becky), former girlfriend of Bernie Pierce, now hir mother.  Mentioned, but has not been shown.
Anne Rocca, Jen’s Mother.
Mr. Rocca, Jen’s Father.
Gen/Ginnie’s ‘Auntie Eliza’.
Charlotte Morrow (Charlie), a Jen-look-alike and Umberth Alum from 36 years ago.  (Secrets!)

Important Aspects of This Story
         Attempting to make this whole concept at least marginally believable.  This means realistic problems like stretching, tearing, and suffocating are dealt with.
         Unbirth is a disease, not a sexual position.  The story is about acceptance, not sex.
         For most of the people in the story, unbirth is just another part of life.  The ‘wow’ factor is in Jen’s observations and reactions, and the occasional uber-scene (i.e. Mrs. Mott-Fodsel and her five passengers, right in the middle of class).  It is important to keep that wow factor, or the story will lose its fan base.
         Males are referred to as ‘he’ and ‘him’.  Females are ‘she’ and ‘her’.  Other types (hermaphrodites, neuters) will take the form ‘shi’ and ‘hir’.  While there is no difference in pronunciation (she=shi and her=hir), it works, mostly because herms and neuters usually have a more feminine appearance.

Poems and Songs Associated with Unbirthing
Carry You to Victory
Umberth College Fight Song
(to the tune of Gustov Holst “English Folk Song Suite: II Sea Songs” que 1:30 to 2:36)

Through the hills and thru the trees,
You hear the Bandicoots call!
O’er land, or air, or seas
Vic’try to one and all!

We’ll fight to win this ball
On strong or weak and shaky knees.
And should you stumble and fall,
We’ll carry you to Vic-to-ry!

Right here is where I want to be!
Gold and Blue will beat them all,
Other teams scatter when they see
The ‘Coots of Umberth tall!

We’ll fight to win this ball
On strong or weak and shaky knees.
And should you stumble and fall,
We’ll carry you to Vic-to-ry!

Oblique
Apparently a traditional UB rhyme to help remember a certain technique called the Oblique.  I suspect there will be others.  Indeed, I plan to introduce a book with many different positions, an Unbirth Kama Sutra if you would.  For the record, an oblique is a difficult-class, head-first, squatting maneuver that raises a shoulder to form a ‘triangle’, making the unbirth easier.  It demonstrates how even a little help from the unbirthee can make the ordeal much easier for both.)

"An oblique is a technique,
Where the meek one-armed freak
Or the weak-kneed pipsqueak
Can make a sleek peak
And streak straight into the greek
At the chic boutique."

UNBIRTHING KAMA SUTRA (incomplete)
Feet-first-  actually the safest method of unbirthing, as the umbilicus usually attaches long before the head is engulfed, so the need to breathe is never a problem.  Victim usually puts the feet together, toes pointed down, a normal method.  Going heel-first is called a hoof method, and is painful for all parties involved.
         The feet are inserted in: a front position, with the unbirthee facing the host; a back position, facing away from the host; or askew, something in between.  The front position has the advantage of being able to watch and communicate between unbirthee and unbirther, and bending the knees while supine.  The back position has the advantage of bending the knees while prone to assist the host.  Askew positions are not recommended.
         Most often, this culminates with a ‘straight-on’ pull, the host using their V-V to pull the unbirthee in.  The unbirthee can assist with: a ‘wriggle’, using small side-to-side motions; a ‘push’, using leverage and weight; and a ‘twist’, a spinning motion.  The most common help from the unbirthee in a normal position, when hips touch, is a modified push called a ‘thrust’, reminiscent of a sexual thrust.
         Crossing the feet at the ankles is a ‘corkscrew’, most often followed by a twisting of the body at the hips.
         If the unbirthee’s hips end up perpendicular to the host’s, it is called a ‘ratchet’- while it is possible to finish an unbirth from this position, it can be very painful for the host.  However, a person in the ratchet position that twists to a front or back position can often insert their hips with greater ease and less discomfort than in a straight-on pull; this is called a ‘lug’. 
         If only one leg is engulfed, it is called a ‘jackknife’, which has front and back positions as well, with the free leg in the front or back respectively.  Unless the host has a V-V 7+ or the unbirthee is especially flexible, this move cannot result in unbirthing.  Two hosts jackknifing each other are said to be ‘sheathing’.
         When in a jackknife position, it may be possible to switch to a ‘half-jack’, by pulling the other leg in tight and inserting it at the knee.  This is a dangerous position for any person with a V-V 5 or less- tearing is likely.
         Bending the knees once they are engulfed, called ‘tucking-in’, is compulsory, drawing the thighs and hips in as they are pulled up.  Not bending the knees is called ‘straight-legging’, an uncomfortable position for the host.  It is possible for a V-V 6+ host to force a straight-legged unbirthee to tuck-in.
         Attempting to take an unbirthee by both knees is called ‘full-jacking’, and is not a good idea- it causes the effective diameter of the unbirthee’s hips to double.  It takes a V-V of 7 to successfully manage such size.
         Hardest and most dangerous of the feet-first methods is ‘hips-first’, literally taking the unbirthee by the hips.  This has front and back positions as well- unless the unbirthee is very flexible, the front hips-first position simply will not work, or will literally bend the unbirthee backwards in two.  From a back hips-first position, the unbirther with a V-V of 7 can, with difficulty, force an unbirthee into a modified fetal position and pull them in.
Dive- using both hands held palms together over the head, with the head tucked between them.  This is the most common method of unbirthing, and is referred to as the ‘common’ method.  If the head is pulled back instead, it is referred to as ‘uncommon’.
         If the hands are crossed, it is called a ‘corkscrew’ similar to the feet.
         If the fingers are interlaced, it is called a ‘fist’.  This technique has the advantage of stability- the hands cannot be separated easily.
         If the hands are placed palms away from each other reminiscent of a breaststroke, it is a ‘stroke’ position.  This has the advantage of being able to pull the host open more easily.  It is moderately uncomfortable for both host and unbirthee.
         Getting the shoulders and breasts of the unbirthee in is the hardest part of this method.  As with feet-first, an unbirthee can help best with a ‘wriggle’, ‘push’, and ‘twist’.  In addition, separating the elbows once they have been engulfed, called ‘spreading’, is a forced stretch that allows the host to descend quickly onto the shoulders and chest.
Prayer-  A kneeling position with the hands together in front of the face rather than above the head.  Good for first-time unbirthers as it is relatively simple.  It turns into a dive once the elbows have been engulfed.  The advantage of a prayer method is in leverage- the unbirthee can push easier, and the host can use gravity to her advantage.
Reach-  Like a Dive method, only with one hand.  More difficult than Dive, easier than Head-first.
Head-first-  A risky method, as the head is bulbous and the neck exposed to potentially dangerous pressure.  It is difficult for a V-V 4 or lower type Beta to accomplish a Head-first maneuver, as the blunt head leads to an even broader, blunt shoulders.  The best technique to use in this scenario is an ‘oblique’, where one shoulder is pushed higher than the other, in an attempt to change the angle of attack.  The advantage of a head-first maneuver is that a partially engulfed unbirthee has their arms pinned to the side, making dangerous flailing more difficult.

Squat-  A host method of standing above a kneeling unbirthee and squatting down onto them.  This can be accomplished with almost any method.
Leg-up-  A host method of standing with one leg raised above the other, opening up the sex.  This is a complementary method, giving control to the unbirthee.
All-fours-  A host method of kneeling with open sex exposed from behind.  Usually associated with a Dive or Prayer method.
Supine-  A host method of lying on one’s back, giving the majority of control to the unbirthee.