You'll Always Be Taller

**NOTE: This is a piece written to be preformed, so there isn't an exact flow or form to it.

You’ll Always be Taller

You’ll always be taller than me,
And being above me,
You haven’t ever truly seen me,
Because I was left in a rectangle room with one dirty window,
And a cache of misery,
Worn out markers stutter across paper,
While worn out faces with dull eyes take in P.J.’s,
Accented by hospital gown jackets,
We are misery,
Sickness, heartbreak,
We are delicate,
Dreams and lunches flushed down the toilet,
Punctuated by the staccato drip drop of blood from cuts into sensitive skin.
Our vices rule our lives,
Medication infiltrates our minds,
Creating those sad dull eyes that watch walls with steady monotony,
Hidden away, we are people,
We are insane,
We are shame,
Families fearing the possibility of wreaked reputations,
Hide our insanity in backwoods hospitals,
Abandoning us to our own hurts,
Counting their weekly visits, each minute another proof,
They keep the minutes in boxes in their minds,
Ready to pull out the totals as a proof of their love,
Hearing “Hellos” in muted voices from visitor rooms,
Unable to explain out pain,
As questions shoot from demanding mouths,
Crumpled into hateful snarls,
How can we tell you that conversations kill?
We go in as angels and return bearing the chains of our family demons,
Abandoned spiritually,
Personifying petrification,
Faces frozen in masks of agony,
Love binds us blindly,
Our families’ shame and misplaced honor mixing with how we feel,
And they don’t think about us,
As they blame us for all the problems in their lives,
Throwing their hurts at us,
Because they aren’t brave enough to see them themselves,
Blindly beating us and keeping us where we are sane,
It must have been late afternoon,
When I saw you for the first time with newly opened eyes,
I was getting cold,
The influence of this place drew lines in your face,
Dividing us, I then knew,
I too bear my families shame,
And when I sat in the silent restraint room screaming your name,
I burned my bindings with my own uncontrollable hatred,
But I couldn’t stay in a dream forever,
And when they cast me out like old news,
Yesterdays reformed trash,
The mint green walls folded down,
Leaving me vulnerable in a straight jacket,
Trapped,
I kneel, stationary, waiting to be freed,
And through my new glass walls people stare at me,
The side affect of insanity,
And monsters are too real for me,
Because while I look in the closet and under the bed,
I know all the monsters hide in my head,
And I can’t get back up again,
Knocked down too many times and sick of looking up to you,
Don’t you see?
You’re taller than me when I’m stuck on my knees.