Strength

It was the first time I had ever seen her

Show actual physical signs of her pain

As her tiny body limped with determination

Through my front door.



My arms reached for her

on the outside, to offer her assistance

In conquering the small step

Into my house.



But on the inside, this gesture

Was my heart crying out to her

"Honey, I am so sorry!"

Damn it, why is this happening?

Why to her?!



But knowing how much she would

Feel no need to acklowledge

Her current battle with her knees and hips

I chose a different, but equally true greeting...

She looked amazing! She was so beautiful.



In spite of her underweight frail frame

and an undeniable lack of any curves

And the way her skin just looks stretched

Across her bare bones,

She was stunning.



Her hair looked fantastic! 

I'll just die if she has to go back on chemo!

I've never seen her when

She wasn't all dolled up

And just completely adorable.



I've never seen her when

She wasn't upbeat, focused, determined

And juggling about 4 more things

Than I think I could ever handle.

She never skips a beat!



You know those 50/50 friends

The ones that have a 50% chance

Of showing up to, or coming through for

any time you want or need them around

Well that is NOT her.



As a matter of fact,

I can't think of a single thing

She's ever passed on, or not shown up for,

And she has more reasons that most

to really be not 'able' to make it.



She will bring most of us to shame actually,

I feel like a complete ass for

every time I left my hair a hot mess

(Sheer laziness usually)

Or let an ache or pain hault my day.



Her third consecutive medication is being

completely ignored by her Lupus, and her entire body is

Spiraling warp speed out of control

As her 8 doctors lose another round of

'Stump the Chump'.



Her connective tissues in her whole body

Are detaching from her own muscles

Like a civil war inside of her.

I wish that I couldn't tell you that, that wasn't

on a long list of equally terrible symptoms.



She is the sweetest, strongest and most real

34 year young woman, I have ever known

And this earth, her loving husband and precious daughter

Will all have only a small fraction of as much time

With this remarkable creature as they should.



But I can offer this Golden Gaurantee

She will be loved, and love others

And she will do more, and be more

And shine in all her glory

Far more than so many others will even aspire to.