Date of Birth

Today is the day I’m finally going to die. Now I know that may sound alarming to you and send cold tingles racing down your tail bone, but believe me, I’ve been waiting for this a long time.

It’s hard to stop myself pacing constantly around my motel room; I’m a very impatient being. I’ll be fine though. What’s a few more hours waiting for what I’ve thought about for four long years? I can do this. It’s not so bad; I have my 1927 Brennans Finest Whiskey to help take the edge off.

As I pour my second I sit down in the worn out brown leather chair by the window. I start to think about how it’s going to happen. Will it be fast or slow, painful or numb? Will it be just like I’ve imagined or will I be deeply disappointed with the ending of my life. Should I say something before I go? What would I say? I knew I should have read some poetry before I came here.

That doesn’t matter though. It doesn’t matter what I say, what I do or how it happens. The point of tonight is that it is happening. It’s finally really happening. I’ve waited so long. I’m one of the lucky ones. They actually came to me. I had been making more and more posts on the hidden forums of the internet. The ones people only think exist in old mythical news stories of people hooking up online to kill each other. Well, there’s a few out there and they’re very, very real. That’s where I was contacted by a group of people led by a man names Joshua. Joshua spoke to me personally which I found quite flattering for some reason. After four years he said he would finally help me.

Now, he was here, quietly rapping on the door.

I let him in and he is everything I’d never imagined. His eyes are shadowed, his pointy chin is prickly with stubble and his cheeks are as hollow as a pumpkin at the end of October. His huge presence brings with it an eye watering stench of soil and dirty leather. I’m just guessing but he must have a hog parked outside. His mouth opens and shuts a few times. I stare at him blankly before I realize he’s talking.

‘...in there Charlie?’ I catch.

‘What? No, yes, sorry. I... I’m Charlie. Sorry, you must be Joshua. I’m just a little nervous is all, my senses are all over the place’ I finally muster.

His voice seems to go even raspier as he laughs ‘Right. Well, they’re bound to be, night you’ve got planned. I’m Joshua, yes, pleasure to finally meet you Charlie’ and with that we shake hands. The shake lasts longer than a normal handshake. This wasn’t the sort of handshake you’d get from meeting your partners father for the first time, or that you’d get at a job interview or even when you meet your all time baseball hero. This handshake, this eye contact, it was the sort of moment that cemented two people together in time. We understood and accepted each other. Although obviously I was a little more nervous than he was. My life was ending tonight and this man was going to be the one taking it; releasing me if you will.

Then we smiled and let go. I poured two more drinks and over the next two hours we shared stories about our lives and talked about why I was doing this and how the rest of the night was going to unfold. Joshua really put me in the best mood for it. I couldn’t wait to get it done. He told me it would be beautiful, he said it always was when a young soul like mine decided to leave this plane. He told me it would hurt, but only for a moment; after which I would feel all my worries melt away as my blood clogged inside my veins and turned the darkest black. He told me he was happy I had decided to do this. Then he told me it was time.

It was midnight and we found ourselves on the roof of the motel. The full silent moon was the perfect backdrop. Joshua had brought the small stereo up from the room downstairs and began playing an old, classic piece of music that drifted in and out of the scene so perfectly.

I knelt on a red blanket Joshua has laid on the floor and closed my eyes, swimming in the moment. My shirt unbuttoned, I could feel the warm desert wind on my chest. My breathing was slow and calm, inside I was overcome with happiness. This is it.

Joshua knelt in front of me, towering above me even from his knees. He had taken off his old black cowboy hat and his thick, greasy blonde hair fell down around his face.

‘How do you feel?’ he asked.

‘I feel ready’ I answered, honestly, and he smiled.

‘That’s good. I believe you. You’re at the end of this journey now Charlie, a new one is about to begin for you. Don’t be afraid when you come to. Everything will be fine and I’ll be right here, everything will be better than fine in fact. Now, just remember what I told you and don’t fight any urges that overcome you. I’ll be here to help you.’ He smiled again.

I believed him.

The music played out like a storm as he ripped into me. My head jacked back, veins bursting like overfilled water balloons. Blood gushing from my neck, I felt is being drained from my body. White hot, unbelievable pain shooting from the bite to every pain receptor in my body, but all I could do was stare up at the moon, smile a wide toothy smile and be grateful. My life was over and now, finally, my death could begin.

Word Count = 995