What I learned writing erotica

Ready to learn what I learned?  It wasn’t easy to do my first erotica during Nanowrimo 2011.  Maybe I saw too big.  My first thought about writing erotica was that it must be easy to write scene after scene of diverse sexual acts between two or more loving partners.  I didn’t expect the sexual tension would be very high and condensed in thirty days.  Here are a few things that I learned the hard way.



-Research

Even if the sexual act is natural, making some research can be useful.  It can be inspiring for hot scene and make you think of some position you think as banal.  It is also a good excuse to surf on the internet and renting soft porn or look at “educational” dvds.  If you get caught in the act of looking at sexual scene, you have the added benefit of saying: “Honey, it is for my erotica story I’m doing at Nanowrimo!  It purely educational!  I promise you we can practice those position tonight!”  There is also about learning about something new.  During a research, I stumble upon the fancy word “Teledildonics”.  It is a form of advanced cyber sex.  It is done remotely, at a distance with some software and hardware connected to the computer.  You can guess it made my day!  This kind of discovery is great to unstuck a plot or experiment.  You never know if it will sparkle a new sexual fantasy!



-Sexuality is not just the sexual act.

We can talk and think about sex.  There is also masturbation, phantasm, our sexual history, the caress we like, looking at nude photo (magazine) or videos, writing erotica, sensuality, gender, sexual orientation, the effeuilleuses of the Burlesque.  And I may miss a few things related to sexuality.  It all help build up the sexual act and add on the story.  It is great to make the sexual act more desired.



-Foreplay, caress, masturbation, humour, all in good playfulness.

It is a part of the precedent paragraph and I felt I could expand a little bit on this.  Sex is fun.  It is not about just penetration all the time.  It is not always in the bedroom either.  Desire is good and some shameful situations can quickly turn into a joke later on.  Or it can be hilarious for the reader.  I know that, from personal experience, that there are hilarious moments in the sex act.  It happen to me all the time.  I don’t even count the punch lines my partner and me exchanged during this supreme act.  So, I got inspired by my personal experiences to have fun writing hot scene.



-Repeating yourself in description come real quick.

The scene can vary but sometimes, the wording isn’t.  Synonyms help vary words a bit for a time.  Consider to use euphemism or words that can be substituted because of their double meaning.  Some creativity is good too and apply for many other problems.  Repeating is boring to write and boring to read.  So find ways to get past this.  Mechanical writing isn’t a good way to enjoy nanowrimo, it’s true for all genre.



-Erotica isn’t always sex scene after sex scene.

In erotica, sex is important but there is what surround sex too.  Character can think, talk, dream, read about sex.  They can also eat aphrodisiac food.  They can be horny if they want or talk dirty to their partner without ending with a sex scene.  They can make themselves desired.  Make sensual tension build.  A plot line help too.  I make the mistake of many sex scene one after the other.  Only at the end that I stumble upon a good plot line that I could had used.  It would had added tension and drama.  Now, I think I will have a lot of editing to do if I want to salvage this story.



-Variety of character can be interesting.

It is also great to explore some personal phantasm.  It is a great time to experiment.  It can also be great for the plot line too.  It bring spice to life.  It can also be a good idea to have full fleshed character not just one layer of interest.  I’ll give you some example.  I had a male character who have a strong interest in the breast of his partners.  He also like to experiment new techniques.  For example, this character tried pegging with a female friend with benefit, to see if he would like it.  Another example is a female character who like the original fairy tales.  She also like to create erotic fairy tales in her spare time.  So she is great in role playing and creating scenarios for her partner.  I let you imagine all the fun you can have creating your characters and plots.



-Sex is about relationship.

To have great sex, there must be some affinities, likes and interaction between the characters.  If not, your character are in serious troubles, maybe with the law too.  It is one thing that I haven’t developed to my full satisfaction.  I will have to develop that more in the editing.



-Be not afraid!

Your characters can have part in non mainstream sex.  Or they are simply non conventional in their sex life.  They are characters after all!  It is a place you can explore sexuality in every dark corner.  You can write an unthinkable steaming hot scene without thinking about tomorrow.  No unexpected consequences. Writing is wonderful for that.  Do it in real life and it turn into a epic drama!  Write about it and it turn in the greatest story in history.  You can even build a phantasm while writing.  I know I had.  I had a steaming sex scene between a female character and two male characters.  I can tell you it was a level three on my chart!  Don’t expect me to do it in real life.  Handling two men is a bit too much in real life.



-Self arousal of the writer.

This is not a problem, it is a side effect.  I wasn’t prepared for this.  Some scene where more arousing than others.  It was to be expected but I haven’t foreseen it.  In the end, I came up with a three level of arousal: 1) the quickly one in front of the computer, 2) the needed break for cooling down or to overcome the desire with self help and  3) the “honey, come cover me NOW” stance.  For the last level, you must obtain the consent of a partner.  Better warn your partner that there will time where s/he will have to contribute indirectly to your novel.  Anyway, it is always good to the moral.  A good moral and satisfied writer is great for the writing.  A friend with benefit can work too but better have a talk and explanation with him/her beforehand.  Be aware that in the madness of nanowrimo, you must be prepare to cover all three level of desire.  It is especially true if you are writing for a few hours at a time.



So, this is what I learned.  Are you ready to make them in application?  And don’t forget the fun!  I had fun and be generous, think of all the possibilities of the word!  I hope you learn something before trying your hand at erotica.