To the Tune of Hotel California

When I saw you tonight
It was as if I finally felt at peace
You were alright
Your beautiful eyes, nose, mouth...down
Crease.
Shame.

You see
I saw you when the only thing you knew
Was to cry.
And now you set my heart awry.

I hope that it is in God's providence
That we spend the rest of our lives together.
But I doubt you feel the same way
I'm just another older brother from a different mother
I would gladly give my life
To preserve the lives of you and your family.

My brother, your brother
Means the world to me.
But I can not help these feelings for you
Wondering what you are up to
I pray that you want to be with me
Someday.

Your laugh
Your happiness
Your beauty
I am hooked, intrigued.
But I do not want to give you the life that I have to offer
A life of constant mental struggle.
Stigma.

You see
You mean the world to me
And I suppose that if I truly loved you
And I wanted the best for you
That you would not be with me
Regardless of the feelings bound to me.

I love you.
And if we do not spend our lives entangled
I will be your Arch Angeld
Protecting you always
From the atrocities of life
And the brutality of this world.
And I would be your loyal protector
My life is less than yours.

I hope you live
And that you are happy always
As you are now.
I hope pain never reaches your doorstep
I would gladly bear it
For all of eternity
Just for you.

I wish you could know how I feel
But I fear it would complicate things beyond repair
You see
Your brother
He means the world to me.
His friendship is more important
Than my love for you.
He was there when I laughed
When I played
When I cried
When I swayed
He was there when I was broke
He was there when I was rich
He was there when no one wanted to hear
And he was there when I had no one else.

I suppose this maybe the trials put forth
For someone who knows true love.
But I hope for the best possible life
For the one I give my life to.

I can not stop thinking about you
Your eyes
Your smile.
This longing is on the brink of torture
I long just for a kiss
A caress
A scent
A laugh
A look of reciprocal love.

And I hope this longing
Pushes me to do the impossible
Take that risk
Of losing the family that I never had
Just so I could be with you for eternity
While being a part of our family.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.