The Art of tree climbing for children

As a child it was drilled into me that tree climbing was forbidden. Almost unknown for that era in parenting history there was an explanation given with it rather than "Because I said so." I guess that it was included to reinforce the gravity of this dangerous, childhood preoccupation. A mother and father are intrinsically designed to protect their offspring. The problem is the offspring are diametrically opposed to the saving of any kind.

According to Mom and Dad, trees were made for shade during the summer and to behold the glory of their turning leaves in the Fall. A quaintness would be brought to the home due to their presence. The Foliage would bring quaintness and beauty to a home. They provided an endearing rural quality that would be an asset to one's house. At the end of their lives they would be cut down to provide wood for a fireplace. That added to their practicality. They were an all purpose creation that would serve you well if only by growing.

What they were not was a jungle gym or a childish habitat. Tree houses were frowned upon since they would incite an immature mind to explore further into these massive structures that could be fraught with danger. After all, wasn't there a well known saying of foreboding, "being out on a limb?"
These glorious entities had the power to seriously limit your future lifestyle if one dared to enter their boundaries. One crack of a branch and you could be crippled forever. A picture was painted in detail of a child ambulating with a cane or sentenced to a wheelchair. A concussion was also listed that could turn one into a different, dark spirited person, become a vegetable or to top it all off, just plain die.

A tree was no place for a child and if you were found in one there would be "hell to pay." Along that line were the poisonous fruits that could be found throughout a neighborhood in fields that would surround it. All apples or pears were sprayed with deadly poisons that if ingested would leave you writhing in agony and also bringing about your demise. After all, you wouldn't want your parents to be burdened in conversations of saying that once they had three children and now have only two. "Just think of what it would do to us."
Our newly formed minds would see the devastation that we could wreak in the wink of an eye and profusely reassured our progenitor's that such behavior would not be performed. To emphasize our sincerity we would speak "cross our heart's and hope to die." A lesson would ostensibly be learned.
Once satisfied, the parent would straighten themselves to their full height and pat themselves on the back. Their teaching had been instilled to their children's core. They would no longer have to concern themselves with driving a child to the hospital with a broken arm interrupting their daily routine. They were smug.

As children, we knew that the best thing to do during these serious sessions was to listen raptly, set down promises and thank our parents from keeping us from harm's way. We also knew that trees didn't only grow in our own yard. They were in abundance in out of the way places that could be reached by bicycles. Fruit also was not the evil personage that we had been educated in. There were plenty of abandoned orchards in our area of roaming that hadn't seen pesticide in thirty years or ever at all. We knew this implicitly since we had already eaten our fair share of these treats and none of us had attended each other's funeral. We just marked it up as one more parental lie that was told to keep us from enjoying life and becoming as morose as they were. We had it all figured out. Luckily, our parent's hadn't.

The first tree that you need to learn the art of climbing on is an apple tree. These species are sturdy and compact with numerous places for balancing comfortably. You can also rest your back upon the trunk while munching away at it's fruit. It's truly an ideal starting point. If one were to be detected within their branches, a forgiveness could be easily coerced. After all, the two most favored "Hummel's" are the girl and boy neatly seated in apple trees. You may easily relay a heartfelt rendition that you were only re-enacting the scene portrayed in the curio cabinet of the house. This will suffice as a plausible excuse.

The next one to come is the maple. These have a wide matrix of branching and one can easily find a foothold at the bottom of the tree. Their limbs have 'spring' to them and it's quite obvious when branches have become rotten. They will display this condition vividly with limbs being either a shade of grey or the bark will be brown and peeling. Branches in this condition are never to be breached. They have the capacity to set a small body into a twelve foot fall while the others are pounding and smacking you on the way down. A misstep from a tree cannot be easily hidden even with minor injuries. You will find yourself cut and scraped, developing mysterious bruises upon your body. This obvious condition of somatic damage will necessitate the creation of yet one more tale. I would suggest the widely accepted falling off of the bike justification. That's a perfectly acceptable excuse for the damage wrought upon your body and you might even get a new bicycle tool kit out of it. After all, it's important to service one's bike and to make sure that the chain is in good working order. "We wouldn't want to have another accident, now would we?"

The oaks are the mother lode and have endless possibilities. Not only do they provide acorns to pelt each other with but they are massive and seem to reach to the clouds. Like a maple, they have that same ornate matrix of branches but one can go even higher and still be comfortably seated almost thirty feet off the ground. Due to their myriad of offerings, they can also be the fodder for childish bantering and dares. It is not unknown to hear a partner in crime saying "Don't look down."
This statement is relayed only after you pass the twenty foot mark. It will engender a momentary freezing of your actions used as a brief interlude to check one's intention's. Do not be discouraged if your innate compulsion for self preservation rises to the surface. It may be manifested by the thought of what in the hell are you doing three stories above the ground without a safety net. Do not be dismayed. Due to the taunting of your counterpart this ingrained compulsion will dissipate. There will be more prompts to come.
The most common dare will often be in the form of hanging by the arms from branches. If you have perfected a two arm swing the next challenge that would follow will be "I bet you can't do that with one arm."
Children may be brazen but not necessarily stupid. A one arm swing will take not only confidence but an acute knowledge of your strength and body mass. All of this will need to be carefully weighed against your standing in the childish society and hierarchy. Yes. I did one arm swings but I sure wasn't thirty feet up when they were performed hence, not stupid.

My favorite of all trees is the cherry. There was a massive one across the street from my home in a wooded area. It's bark would shine brightly in the sun adding to it's already alluring qualities with the most delicious cherries that you could imagine. These trees were are breached quite handily by a crook towards the bottom (similar to an apple tree) and grow outwards more than upwards. Clusters of cherries can be found on the interior and exterior of the branches providing a satisfactory meal without having to go out on that dreaded limb that my parent's speak of. This is a delightful tree to sit in comfortably while in youthful conversations bringing a joy that I remember vividly to this day.
There is a dark side to this tree, however. It lies in the glistening covering of the branches and this warning cannot be taken too lightly. I will provide an example.

For some reason or other the bark will stay intact and shining while it's wood had decayed to veritable sawdust beneath the coating. I remember succinctly being seated in this beauty that I referred to above. Resting comfortably against the trunk with my pal we munched upon the delicious bounty that lay heavily upon each branch. While indulging myself, I spied an unusually appetizing cluster of fruit from where I was perched. Moving from the trunk I was set on procuring this prize. My associate took note of my intentions.
When one breaks rules aka-'going out on that limb', one must compensate. As I furtively moved towards the treasured fruit I held onto a higher, sturdy branch in a fail safe maneuver. I gingerly moved my feet along the bottom limb to retrieve the objects of my desire. It was then that I heard the snap and could see the rotted wood crumbling beneath my feet.
In an instant I was hanging in place with legs dangling free. My companion immediately scurried to my rescue and surveyed the situation. He sprinted down to the bottom of the tree to judge the height knowing I was strong enough to keep holding on. Once upon the leaf strewn floor he could judge my predicament with a practiced eye and advise me as to my best solution. The soil of the woods was soft and I was at less than the twenty foot mark. "It's not much higher than the garage and it's clear" he yelled knowing that I had mastered jumping off of garages a year ago.
Being a trustworthy and best friend I followed his cue and let my hands go. I fell with a thud hitting the earth and leaves with my feet and then toppling backwards into a somersault. My friend was duly impressed as I raised myself up, brushed myself off and removed stray leaves from my pony tail.

Now one can easily climb back into a tree a wiser person than before and that is all well and good. Being a child though, we must take into consideration our limited attention spans. It is best to limit oneself to a single harrowing experience for one day. With the successful completion of what might be a critical outcome (can't lie yourself through this one), it is suggested to be restricted to a single similar experience of this sort per day. By successfully completing an oversight, one has retrieved their rank and even perhaps bumped it up a notch. You will have no need to prove yourself to a pal of long standing acquaintance. Your honor amongst your age group remains unfettered.
It is not unknown to simply revisit a garage roof and continue to hone your jumping off skills. You may need to refine them as practice for another 'tree predicament' that can appear in the future.