what is a life of fear

What is a life of fear ?
maybe everyone get weird what is that story it`s my life that I fear to live in it any more I hate it I fell disgusting when I look at it my worst moments is in it if you just see it you will say thank god I'm not living john`s life will the end of the Ashford family this is only from my mind I'm not really from the Ashford but my other soul is john not me
me and him talk with each either and the story and all that is not my real only from my imagination while the char`s are real they are from my life but I get them in my story to face their worst nightmare with me so I imagine the story in my mind before I write it on paper then on pc but if it go great it doesn't the story at the beginning I start it as lost in nightmare but I changed it then to a life of fear I just starts a new tow story and I can`t be ending them this end of the year I wish it all go easy on me this year because I'm so sad and miserable you know how it feel if you get away from your friends and get dump by your girl friend so I can`t get my stories go very well with me it will be hard so much I just think I need faith because I don`t pray a lot these days will that`s all you want to know about me let`s see if you can get in my story because I want a new character in this life that is full of fear especially stupid teenagers like me they look good in scary story