Expectations

Have you ever encountered a problem in maintaining your friendship with your close ones or endure a situation where you are certain your relationship is about to veer off in a different course. If yes, did you ever configure who was liable for the miscalculation in the very first place or what led to rise in plenty skeptical arguments about your relationship within you. If you sit and agonize on the above subject , you would be completely lost and the arguments between your heart and mind would end up in a deadlock. But am going to highlight the possibility of one of the reason that has led to surplus misconceptions.

Let us take an example that two people Ryan and Petrina become friends. In a few days , Ryan starts to feel more comfortable and cosy with her that he starts sharing with her even his darkest secrets. He chooses her as his closest friend in no time. He feels himself getting drifted towards her. But Petrina is still at a different pace and takes time in adjusting with him. On one side, Ryan is striving hard to push his friendship to an another level but on the other side, Petrina is quite unaware about this fact. This difference in acclimatizing with one another, leads to a cycle of problems and issues.

Firstly,there arises a chain of thoughts in the head of Ryan regarding his friendship with her. He starts pondering , “Why isn't she close with him ? Is she just using his friendship for her needs or she got bored being her friend and found someone who is more smarter and funnier than him ? Why is she not texting him anymore as she used to do in the earlier days ?” All these thoughts agonize him to the extent that he feels obsessed with her. Secondly, he spends day and night in torment deciding how to deal this anymore. He feels frustrated and depressed at the same time. Now, in order to get over with her, he starts to avoid her but at a slower pace and finally he stops talking to her. One fine day, he gets a text from her asking about his well-being which he blindly ignores. Petrina tries to improve the situation but to no avail. And finally, a good friendship comes to an abrupt end. Its indeed pathetic situation.

So, looking at the above situation, what does one confer. Who was at fault ? Ryan or Petrina.

Without any doubt, it was Ryan’s Expectations. He pushed his friendship with alacrity and expected the same from her. He should know that each and every person takes their sufficient time to develop a good rapport with others. His expectations were way too huge and Petrina couldn't reciprocate it. It is said that expectations are the very root cause for all the misconceptions in any relationship whether its casual or intimate. How far is that true. Did anyone ever give a serious thought in this subject before. But rarely people notice this and always end in criticising and accusing others and finding flaws in their doing.

Meeting a random person and within few days, calling him/her as a close friend. Is that really possible??? People tend to expect things from everyone they move around and they get completely disappointed and annoyed if those people fail to live up to their expectations. Its surprising that, our expectations are actually involuntary. We ourself are quite unaware about the fact that we expect certain things from everyone and we only know when they let us down. So, its quite impossible to root out expectations but one must learn the art of balancing it. Relationship always grows only if its equilibrated on both the ends. One should always accept the people the way they are and should know tricks to manage their expectations. There should be proper communication on either side and thats where Ryan was at fault. So think twice and make sure you don't commit the same mistake what Ryan did.

To end it, the below saying is quite eye-opener for everyone.

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.” - Leo F. Buscaglia