Who’s Coming For Dinner

Cast of characters: (in order of appearance)
Narrator
Shaun
Bum
Other family and friends
Kids
Mother



(Shaun and Bum, downstage) Narrator (offstage): One of the easiest ways to kill a human being, and not necessarily go to jail, is to pretend he doesn’t exist.

(Shaun walks past a common street bum without even turning his head. The bum, assuming an almost fetal position, looks up expectantly, but being ignored, he assumes his former position and takes another swig of alcohol from his paper-bagged bottle)

(Shaun turns around.) Narrator: But what could be worse than looking into another person’s eyes, see that he’s in need, and only give him what you want instead of what he needs.

(Shaun walks back to the bum, who is singing “This Old Man” like he’s a sideshow performer. The bum shakes his tin cup with only a few pennies and nickels in it.) Shaun: Hey there. (The bum turns slightly, but continues to sing.) A dollar (Shaun makes it a point to show the bum the dollar bill, but bum keeps singing.) It’s the least I can do. (Shaun says with some resignation as he walks away toward center stage)

Narrator: Do you still think of that man as you go home? Or does it bother you to think that you can be that human?

(Shaun strolls slowly toward center, humming "This Old Man" to himself)

(The door opens. Shaun is warmly greeted by family and friends and is welcomed inside. There is a sign at center saying, Nice Suburban Home with Picket Fences.)

(Bum looks longingly toward center, still singing “This Old Man.” There is a sign downstage saying, An Alley of an Inner City.)

(Family and Shaun sit down at a prepared kitchen table and start gabbing to each other, three and four conversations going on simultaneously, while waiting for dinner to be served.) Kids: Hurry up; we’re starving!

(Bum stops singing and curls up, shivering from the cold approaching evening. Bum holds his bloated stomach and, starving, cries out in agony)

(Shaun turns on the TV) Shaun: Aw, the Bears lost again. Bears, Cubs, White Sox, and now the Bulls. Especially the Cubs. Now that’s a cry for justice.

(Bum’s cries get louder.)

Motherly voice (offstage, yelling): Dinner will be ready in a minute! Why don’t you guys say grace already?

Bum (yelling): It’s cold! It hurts all over!

Shaun (sighing, with reluctance): Oh, all right. Everyone bow your heads (some shushing). Dear Lord, we thank you for the opportunity for family
and friends to come together for this wonderful holiday. Please bless us and this food, and keep us safe always. In your name, we pray…

Everyone (emphatically and gladly, preoccupied with stuffing themselves): Amen!

Bum (yelling louder): God, when’s it gonna end? (Bum starts whimpering desperately while feebly trying to sing “This Old Man” one last time.)

(Mother comes onstage from double doors, holding a large plate full of burgers and hot dogs in one hand and a pitcher of lemonade in the other) Mother (triumphantly): Dinner is served! (Everyone cheers.)

Mother (looks kindly down at kids): Would you like some hot dogs? (Mother pinches their cheeks, then announces) Does anyone need more lemonade?

Everyone (jokingly): Me, me, me! (Mother laughs and takes some of their glasses back offstage)

Shaun (looks at kids, scowling): Didn’t eat all your food, did ya? There are starving people in third world countries and you don’t eat your food? (Smirking, with slight resignation while getting up and taking their plates) I’ll just give it to the dog, I guess.

(Bum starts violently puking in a paper bag and gagging all over.)

(Mother comes back onstage and announcing excitedly) Mother: Who wants to sleep over tonight?

Kids (yelling in non-unison): I do! I do! I do!

Bum (trying to yell despite being choked up): Help! Help! Please, somebody? (The alley is deserted, and anyone in earshot continues on his or her way home, ignoring him.)

Mother (smiling, with teasing reluctance): Oh, all right. There’s an extra room upstairs. (Kids take
off running to the double doors) (Mother, chiding) And no running, please!

Everyone, still chatting, leaves the kitchen table for the double doors as Mother starts cleaning up.

(Bum’s cries get weaker and weaker, until there is silence downstage. Bum lies still, dead)

(Narrator walks toward center stage.) Narrator (looking toward bum): Is it really worth saving your own life when someone else can’t save his?

(Silence)