Unnamed novel: chapter 5

CHAPTER 5



​“It had to be a coincidence, right?” I asked. Not sure if I really wanted Dr. Ramsey’s answer.

​“If I had to guess, I would of course say yes. It is a coincidence. How else could two unrelated things be related?” Dr. Ramsey said.

​“Sorry. I was thinking out loud. Let me finish my story and then answer that question. Okay. Keep that question. Seriously. I want your opinion on it when I am finished with what I need to say.”

​“You seem jittery. Are you sure you want to continue?”

​“Yes. I need to.”

​She sat back in her chair, hands folded in her lap. “Take a couple of deep breaths with me,” she said.

​We both took some deep breaths, in, out, in, out. It helped. I stretched my arms over my head, heard my elbows crack. Brought my arms back down.

​“Okay. That is better. Thanks Doc.”

​She nodded, sat back up ready to listen. She was a good listener. Took everything in, analyzed it. Guess that was her job, though. “Go on, Kerri.”

​“Uh. Let me think…” Had to think how I wanted to continue. How to approach the next few things that happened. “Give me a second. I just need to gather my thoughts.”

​“Whenever you are ready.”

​A minute or so later, I was ready. “All right,” I said. “It was getting…



​…close to the holidays. Was a couple days before Christmas, actually, and Becky was leaving me. Always did that time of year. Her mother grew up in Columbus and Mrs. Stanton’s parents still lived there. So every year Becky would spend the holidays with her mom and her grandparents in Columbus. They’d be gone until after the new year, so I would be alone for about ten days. Wasn’t looking forward to it. While Becky’s mom finished packing the car as we said our goodbyes.

​“I’m gonna miss ya, Beck,” I said trying not to cry.

​“Miss you too, girl,” she said looking at my eyes. Must have seen the sadness. “Okey dokey then.” Not as good as the sneeze, but still effective. Cheered me up. Our laughs tapered.

​I reached down next to me. Had a gift for Becky and grabbed it. Handed it to her. “Got something for ya,”

​“Awww! You didn’t hafta do that.”

​“I know, but I saw it at the store, mom dragged me there. Had to get it for ya. Once ya see it yu’ll know why.”

​Becky tore off the candy cane paper covering the box. Threw it to the ground. Lifted the lid of the box and glanced inside. Pulled away the tissue paper and pulled out the gift. Got her a clock. But it was a special clock. Brass covered the base, a red ceramic flower grew from the top and affixed to the flower was a hummingbird sipping nectar. The face of the clock was round, white with black roman numerals, decorative hands with big arrowed ends pointed to the twelve.

​“I love it. Thanks, Kare.”

​“Don’t mention it. I know how much you love hummingbirds.”

​“You know it.” She put the clock back into the box, set the box on the ground. Looked at me. “I didn’t get you anything. Didn’t know we were exchanging this year.”

​“We’re not. Just saw it and I thought of you. Ya know how it is. Kinda also a thanks for being there for me gift, too. I guess. Wanted you to know how much I appreciate everything you do for me.”

​She hugged me. Dally was going to miss Johnny Cade.

​When she let go she looked at me funny. Knew exactly what was coming. The sneeze.

​“Well, girl. I guess I’ll see ya next year. I gotta go.”

​“See ya next year, Beck. Have a merry Christmas and all that.”

​“You too, Kare. Bye,” she said and then turned and started to walk to her house.

​“Bye,” I said to her back. She heard me.

​Watched her go. Watched her get into the car and drive down the street. We both waved as the car passed my house. Watched them drive away and felt alone. No father this year to ease the pain. Did I have a mother? I dropped my head in sorrow.

​The air was crisp and getting colder. Thought about how much I am going to miss Becky. Thought about my father and our holiday traditions. He wasn’t going to lift me up so I could put the star atop the Christmas tree. Didn’t even have a tree. Sauntered back to the house and in through the side door. Parker pounced on me. He was getting bigger, but was still a puppy. A bigger cuter puppy. Licks from him helped to cheer me up, but I knew it was going to be a miserable Christmas. Started to go upstairs. Looked into the living room. Not only did we not have a tree, there was not one single decoration around. Saw mom curled in the chair gazing out the window. Noticed that it started to snow, but didn’t care. Also noticed how drab the house was. Never noticed it before. Brown carpeting, brown curtains, beige furniture, tan walls. Kitchen was no better. White linoleum, white curtains with yellow trim, white walls and faded yellow countertops. Boring. Dull. Depressing. No wonder everyone who lived here felt so miserable, so alone, so dreary. Went up the stairs and into my room, Parker followed. Closed the door.

​Read The Outsiders and watched the snow fall until I fell asleep. Woke up to a bright, but dull and gray day. Peeked out my window and saw a fresh layer of snow outside, looked like a good amount too. Maybe three or four inches. Very unusual weather for this time of year. Southeastern Ohio is not known as a snowy area, especially in December. Might get the occasional February or March snowstorm, but otherwise it was mostly rain the fell from the skies. I wanted to take advantage, especially since it was Parker’s first snow. Went downstairs, Parker in tow, and opened the hall closet at the bottom of the stairs. Searched inside for everything I would need. Found my light blue winter coat, cotton filling, nice and warm. Had those big patchy areas on the outside sewn together seemingly haphazardly. Gray wool gloves were in the pockets. Found my red wool scarf on the floor next to my big black boots, fleece lined. Grabbed a Steubenville High knitted hat. Put everything on and went outside.

​It was cold. But not super cold. Bent down, grabbed a handful of snow and tried to make a snowball. Great packing snow. Took the snowball and threw it Parker. Nailed him on his side. He jumped on me and we fell in the snow. I laughed while he licked me.  It was the last time I would laugh, or smile, or even be happy, for a while. Got up and made another snowball. Put it back on the ground, pushed it around the yard and made a large ball. Did that two more times and piled the balls on top of each other. Made a snowman about three feet high. Looked around the yard for things to use for arms, eyes, nose, all that stuff. Walked over to the front of the house where a couple of shrubs grew. Pushed some snow away and found a crooked stick about a foot long, split at one end like fingers. Needed another to make good arms. Turned to find another and a gust of wind almost plowed me over. I shivered. Cold smacked my right in the face, even with all my winter gear on. Looked around, but I did not see anything. Heard a slushing sound like someone, or something, was walking across the snow. Sounded like walking on dry leaves on a crisp dry autumn day. “Parker. Is that you?” It wasn’t. He was digging in the snow.

​Another cold breeze, this one across my nose. Pushed up my scarf to cover my face better. Heard the slushing sound again. “Is s-s-s-s-someone th-th-there?” I said stuttering from a cold fear. Wind answered my question by whipping around me, swirling. Shook my head slowly, looking. Only Parker and my incomplete snowman were there. Ran over to the snowman. Started to stick the branch in the side of the second ball to make an arm when I heard the slushing sound again. The sound seemed closer. Like it was coming towards me. Dropped the stick.

​“Hello?”

​Only the sound of approaching footsteps in the wet snow.

​Tried to run, but I had nowhere to go and the snow slowed me down. Tripped over my feet and landed face first into the snow. The cold burned my face, stung my cheeks. Pushed myself up out of the snow and sat there for a second. Gusts increased, swatting at my painful face. Felt a finger on my cheek. Cringed. A tear tried to form, but it froze in my eyes. Looked around the yard, but there was nothing there except Parker, who yelped at something unseen, and the snowman. Stood up and the wind tried to knock me back down, but I fought it. Footsteps slushed closer. I ran. Tripped, landed face first again. Face started to go numb. Turned my head and saw Parker burrowing his head into the snow, whimpering. Could barely move, but I had to get up, so I forced myself. Tried to run over to Parker. Thought I heard the footsteps again, so I started making snowballs and whipped them where I heard the sound. They hit nothing and made trails in the snow where the buried themselves. I shrieked, like a battle cry as I pummeled nothing. Made it to Parker, he saw me and jumped on me, nearly sending me back to the ground. Footsteps, away from me this time, sounded like they were leaving. Everything seemed to be back to normal. But that was far from the truth. I turned to go inside and get away from everything and saw the snowman. Something was wrong. The snowman was alive. Sort of. Snowballs flew from inside the head and struck me, hard. Tried to block them with my arms, but there were too many and I went down to the ground. Covered my head with my arms. Heard the footstep again. And evil snickering. Heard Parker barking. Ice balls of varying size pelted me. Bruised my frozen body. Tried to get up, but the frozen attack sent me back down.

​Everything stopped.

​Got up and realized it did not stop. It got worse. Saw something dreadful. Appalling. Saw something so unbelievable that I had to believe it. Saw something so nightmarish that I could not even dream of it.

​Atop the snowman, the head rose up and began to spin at a dizzying speed. Like a UFO in a bad science fiction movie, the head, while launching ice pellets at me, started to fly towards me. I stared in disbelief and an ice pellet nailed me just below my left eye. It stung. Touched it with my gloved hand and it came back damp and red. Shielded my face with both of my arms and bent down. But I had to see, so I peeked between my arms to watch. The head landed at my feet. Out of ammunition. Relief flowed through me and my body relaxed. But it didn’t last long. Looked at the head, the inanimate pile of snow at my feet, and a face started to emerge. Came from deep inside the head like light beamed from the center to the surface. Like there was a miniature movie projector buried at the core and displayed the horrific image. But it was a real face. Evil black eyes that seemed to float in cavernous openings in the head, each about an inch in diameter, glared at me with a hypnotic trance. Then a wicked smile. From a mouth that, when opened, seemed to have no inside. Like looking into a bottomless pit. Blood dripped from sharp black pointed teeth. Drool dripped from its blood stained lips. Then it laughed. Like laughter in a haunted house, only worse. Fell to my knees in horror and shut my eyes tight. Wanted to remove the sight from my mind. Rubbed my eyes hard. When I opened them back up everything was back to normal. Everything was fine. No wind. No weird snowman head at my feet. Looked around the yard and saw the snowman as I had left it, unfinished, no arms, no legs, and thankfully no face.

​Parker ran to me, licked my numb cheeks, warmed them up a bit, but I was barely conscious from the horror and the cold.

​What the hell just happened? Couldn’t have been my imagination, could it? No. It was too real. Way too fucking real. But how…

​My thoughts tailed off, my mind was numb.

​Felt like my heart was trying to beat out of my chest. Sweat froze to my forehead, making me even colder than I was, but I was too cold to even shiver. Or care. Clouds of mist formed then quickly dissipated from my rapid and quick breaths. Tired to wipe my face, but my gloves were covered in snow. Kept seeing the flying head. Ice pellets and snowballs flying from its inside. The face. Tried to get up, but it was difficult. My body was weary. Frozen. But I got up. Looked at the snowman to make sure that it was just a snowman and not something else, something supernatural, something paranormal. Walked over to it, gingerly. Parker followed. Every couple of steps I stopped, took deep cloudy breaths. Looked at the snowman and it was still a snowman. Crept closer until I was at the snowman. Could feel my heart beating in my chest. Reached out to the head with my right arm, but pulled back in fear. Could see the face again, but it was only in my mind. Reached out again, slowly. Pulled back again. Stood there for a second and thought, decided. Go for it. Reached my arm out again and put my palm flat on the face of the snowman, squeezed. Felt it start to give and let go. The head started to roll down the back of the snowman. Ran into the house as fast as I could. Did not want to watch what happened. Parker followed me in.

​Slammed the door shut behind us and stood there out of breath, panting. Both of us. Fell to the floor and landed hard on the linoleum, but my heavy coat was enough cushion. “Becky,” I called out.



​Must have passed out because I don’t remember what happened. Maybe I blocked it from my mind. Next thing I knew I was on the kitchen floor still dressed in my winter clothes. Drool formed a puddle under my mouth, dripped rabidly from my open mouth. Tried to orient myself. Rubbed my eyes and tried to stand up, but weakness, or exhaustion, or fear, sent me back down. Closed my eyes and saw the snowman, the head hurling towards me. Shook my head and opened my eyes. Better. Tried to get up again, slower, and got to me feet. Heard footsteps coming. Turned, but saw nothing, no one. Panic set in. Tried to scream, but nothing came out but a faint coughing sound. Lungs still ached from the cold air. Time seemed to stand still. My heart dropped into my stomach, almost wanted to puke. Footsteps got louder, closer. Heard a small bark. Parker. Collapsed to the floor and Parker bombarded me. Hugged him tight as he licked my face.

​“Hey, Park ol’ boy,” I said and started laughing for no reason. Wasn’t happy. Think it was just how my body recovered from the fear, shot adrenaline into my blood.

​Adrenaline rush over, I felt weak and exhausted. Went to lay down on the couch in the living room. Snuggled with Parker. Turned on the television and It’s A Wonderful Life was on. Dad and I used to watch it every year, maybe my mother did too. Ate popcorn and drank Kool-Aid. Images of past Christmases came to me. Like when I was five years old and Santa was still real:

​Went downstairs on Christmas morning and the living room seemed to glow with presents. Everywhere I looked was a present. Or a decoration. Always seemed to be over-decorated. But Christmas only came once a year and we had only that time to display those items. Garlands hung from the mantle and from the railing on the stairs. Dozens of Santa figuring were littered about the room. On the mantle. On the coffee table. On windowsills. Everywhere. Fake snow randomly placed around the room so there would always be a white Christmas. It was still dark outside. Only light came from the tinsel reflecting the tree lights like tiny rainbows. Could always see clearly through magical Christmas eyes. Was always the first on down in the morning. Once I saw all the presents, I ran back upstairs and get my parents. Once everyone was there, we would start opening everything up. Paper flew everywhere. And boxes. Dad saved the best present for last. Hid it well too. He went out into the garage and came back with a shiny new bike. My first bike. It even had those colorful tassels flowing from the handlebars. Big gray banana seat on the back. Little white crosshatched basket on the front. It was the perfect bike. I remembered…

​…suddenly a face appeared on that little basket. Same face that the snowman had. Thought I was still dreaming but it was real. I screamed. The bike started to chase me around the room. I ran. Tripped and fell. Bike caught up to me. Grabbed me around the neck with its handlebars. Suffocated me like the bony hands in the kitchen. Could feel the air escaping my lungs. Tried to suck in some air. Exhaled what I thought might be my dying breath…

​…and I woke up. But I wasn’t on the couch anymore. I was outside. Alone. Looked around and only saw snow. A line of trees surrounded the space, far away. Blustery wind swayed them back and forth. Branches cracked and bent from the strong gusts. My mouth went dry. My stomach turned. Wind seemed to push the trees closer. And closer. Until they were on top of me, blocked my escape. I lost all hope. Let fate take over. Leafy paws smacked my face. Tried to run, but there was nowhere to go but into the trees. Screamed. It echoed in the wind and into the trees. Sounded like they came from knots in their thick trunks. Sounded like snarling. Each tree with its own woody drawl. Branches reached for me, grabbed me, punched me. Cold air pelted my still raw face. Tried to pray. Blood dripped from my wounds. My clothes ripped from constant punches from pointy branches. Fell to the ground into a ball, eyes closed. Felt something on my cheek. Cold. Wet. Put my hand gently on my cheek, opened my eyes and…

​…saw Parker licking my face. His rotten dog breath welcoming. Soothing. I was back on the couch.

​Was it a dream? Had to be?

​Parker barked at the window, wanted to play outside. Wasn’t going outside. Not again. Howling gusts of wind caused ghostly packets of snow to blow past the windows. Jumped off the couch and shut the curtains. Didn’t want to see outside. “Get the hell outta here you…you…whatever the fuck you are! Leave me alone!” Wasn’t like me to curse. But it seemed appropriate then.

​Noticed it was getting late, so I had Christmas Eve dinner with Parker. He had a bowl of Puppy Chow. I had a bowl of Girl Chow, or cereal. Put my dishes in the dishwasher, noticed how full it was and grabbed the detergent. Put it in the slot in the inside of the door, closed it and ran it. Went upstairs and was about to go into my room when I heard soft sobs. Looked down the hall to my mother’s room and saw her standing in her room, crying. Took a step towards my room, then abruptly changed direction. Felt guilty, but I didn’t know why. Walked down the hall and stood in the doorway to my mother’s room. She couldn’t see me since her hands covered her face. Looked around her room, saw all my dad things where he’d left them. His shoes in the middle of the floor. Wedding photo on the dresser. Could hear As Time Goes By playing from my mother’s jewelry box. That was their song. A single tear slowly rolled down my face.



​Finally, I spoke out, “Merry Christmas, mom.”

​She shook, startled, but recovered. Took her hands away from her face and looked at me like she’d never seen me before. She said, “Merry Christmas. I love you, Kerri.”

​“I love you, too, mom.”

​She walked out of the room to where I was standing. Raised her arms out to me and embraced me. I grabbed hold of her tightly and returned the hug. Didn’t want to let go. Felt alive inside. Warm. Home.







More to come...