A Day in the Life of Pitch

My master was one step out of the door when I decided to not let him go; I stretched up and attempted to hook my paws into the flare of his black jeans. He looks down, a hint of sorrow appears in his already blue eyes. I slowly intertwined myself around his legs. A small meow escapes my mouth. He let out a sigh as he picks me up and slowly strokes my black cuddly fur. I start to lose myself in the rhythm of his soft steady hands as he scratches behind my ear and sets me down. He walks out the door, glancing back one last time with a slow smile on his face. He locks the door and falls into the common cycle humans go through every day.
I guess there’s nothing left to do but torment that stupid dog I’m forced to share air with. I could never truly explain, or describe, to you in any way, shape, or form how much I despise that insolent excuse for a pile of fur named Sunny. Though, sadly, there’s nothing bright about him. And speaking of nightmares coming to life, look who just walked in. Yep, you guessed right human, Sunny. Well, here goes nothing.
“Morning flea bag” he announces as he lazily walks in and takes up most of the carpet space.
“What do you want” I reply with the best death glare I can master. Before I can react, Sir drools a lot is standing on the edge of the sofa, my tail under his paw. I attempt to extend my claws but forget that master trimmed them. Curse him and those blasted nail clippers! My paws are nothing but small cotton like instruments on the edge of my paw. I hit him in the nose. He releases me on impact. It works every time! He pounces but I steady myself on the edge of the sofa. I jump towards the table; my mind set on revenge. I look at him, give a hiss, and then make my way towards my scratching post. I climb to the top and let my black tail dangle off the edge. I’ll never comprehend why you humans admire dogs so much. I mean cats are just as cool and we’re not even much of a mess. I mean sure we shed but so do dogs! And you don’t have to take us for afternoon walks, and we won’t slobber all over you. You humans think we just lay around all day not doing stuff. Okay, so that was a lie. Honestly, my species doesn’t enjoy interaction with the outside world. Let’s face the truth head on Pitch. Cats are lazy and don’t do anything, like a fish. Fish, Another pet you humans prefer over cats. Who wants a pet that always smells so bad and is practically living in his toilet bowl! They’re yummy in my meow mix but that’s as far as I’ll take it. I guess for now I’ll just do what I’m a good at and sleep.