Sleeping Beauty Parody

SLEEPING BEAUTY PARODY


CASTS

-Narrator
-The King
-The Queen
-The Evil Witch
-Princess Aurora
-Fairy 1
-Fairy 2
-Fairy 3
-The Prince



SCENE 1

(Narrator) Once upon a time, there lived a happily married couple. They were The King and The Queen themselves.

One day, they held a big party for the birth of their daughter. Everyone was invited, except one... In the ballroom...

Fairy 1: "I granted cunningness in this kid!"
(Waved pink wand)

Fairy 2: "I granted funkiness in this kid!"
(Waved yellow wand)

Fairy 3: "I granted..."

Suddenly, the Evil Witch appeared in the middle of the ball-room!

Evil Witch: "How dare you not invite me!

Queen: "It's not what we meant to do! You see, you were in Maui when our men delivered the invitation!"

Evil Witch: "Shut up! Don't make more excuses!"
(Pulled out wand)

King: "But we ARE telling the truth!"

Evil Witch: "I don't care! Anyway, I'll give your daughter a gift! Let's see... Deadly-O-Poison, nah, it tasted bitter! Hm... how about a Swiss Army Knife? No, it's too expensive! Oh, heck, let's follow the original script!"

Evil Witch: "When the spinning wheel gives its first ray, your daughter'll die on her 17th b'day!"

Queen:"You are such a bad poet!"

Evil Witch: "Oh, shut up!"

(Evil Witch disappeared)

Queen: "Oh, no! What must we do?!"
(Tears rolling down)

Fairy 3: "Don't worry, Your Majesty!"
(Acted assuring)

King: "Whatever do you mean?"

Fairy 3: "She won't die, she'll only be asleep!"

Queen: "For how long?"

Fairy 3: "About a hundred years."
(Said matter-of-factly)

Queen:" Then what's the difference?!"
(Became more frustated)

Fairy 3: "She will only be awaken if a prince is willing to kiss her... Just wait!"


SCENE 2

17 years later.....

Queen: "Aurora! Aurora!"
(Shouted till cheeks became red)

After 1 hour, 34 minutes, 56 seconds, and 5 milliseconds, Aurora came

(Came a teen with a tank top and a mini skirt. She tied her hair in a ponytail; a fluffy, red ribbon popped up from behind her hair)

Aurora: "What?! I was doing my beauty ritual!" (Said annoyingly)

Queen: "Today is your birthday, do you want anything?"

Aurora: "Well, not much, how about a Rolls Royce, a huge TV, and a condo?"

Queen: "Aurora, there aren't anything like that in our time!"

Aurora: "Awe, I wish I lived in the 90's! Very well, just give another bucket of golds to the poor!"

Queen: "That's so generous of you, Aurora!"

Aurora: "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, can I go now?!" (Rolled eyes)

Queen: "Of course, go prepare your birthday party tonight!"

(Aurora left to her room, The King came in)

Queen: "What must we do?! Today's her birthday! Do you remember what the witch told us?"

King: "I know! That's why I ordered everyone to destroy all spinning-wheels in the village!"

Queen: "What if something happen to her?!"

King: "We can just hope that she will be okay..."

Meanwhile, Princess Aurora was wandering in the castle, until...

Aurora: "I'm LOST! Whoever designed this castle will get a really BIG problem!!"

Old Woman: "Princess Aurora?"
(Wore a black hood with holes on it)

Aurora: "Who are you?!"

Old Woman: "That's not important, but... do you want to see a magnificent thing?"

Aurora: "If it's a spinning-wheel, then forget it! I still have a lot of things to do in this world!"

('I must remind myself to NEVER tell my plan to ANYBODY!') thought The Old Woman.

Old Woman: "Err... How about a diamond?"

Aurora: "WHERE?! GIVE IT TO ME!!"

(Took it rudely and accidentally cut her finger with the tip of the diamond)

Aurora: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCHH!!!!!"
(Fell to the ground)

(Old Woman turned into the Evil Witch)

Evil Witch: "Ouch, my ears hurt! (Held her ears) Anyway, she's dead now! DEAD! That's the consequence for letting me down! HA... HA... HA!!!!!"

(Disappeared again in a puff of smoke)


SCENE 3

Queen: "Oh no! I heard a scream!"

The King and The Queen quickly rushed into the tower where Aurora 'died'.

Queen: "Aurora! Oh, dear! You're DEAD!"

Aurora: (Suddenly awoke) "Am NOT!! I only fell asleep for a hundred years!"

(Aurora fell asleep again)

(A minute of awkward silence...)

Fairy 3: "Don't worry, a prince will soon come and kiss her!"

King: "Yeah, about a hundred years from now."

Fairy 2: "I'll make everybody fall asleep too, then."

(Took out a box of 'Guaranteed To Make You Sleep Like A Pig!' Sleeping Powder, and made everyone sleep like pigs! :P)


SCENE 4

A hundred years later...

(A young prince emerged from a dark forest. He wore a long, silvery coat with tiny, gold letter of "The Charming Prince" written on his chest)

Prince: "I've heard rumors about a castle with people who sleep for a century. And they won't wake up until a prince kiss the princess..."

Prince: "That prince would be me! The Charming Prince! Hwahahahahahaha!"
(Laughed with somewhat over-proud tone)

Prince: "Come on, Horsey, we go to the castle! Yeehaaaaaaa!"
(Said to his horse and posed like a cowboy before losing his balance and fell down with a loud 'thud!'...)

Soon after he arrived at the castle...

Prince: "Spada! Haaaaallooooooouu! Anybody heeeeeeeeere?"

Fairy 1: "We've been waiting for you..."
(There were black bags under her eyes)

Fairy 2: "WHY DON'T YOU COME EARLIER?!"

Fairy 3: "We've been waiting for you for a century without even blinking our eyes... We're so tired..." (Looked tired and exhausted)

Prince: "Huh... Who told you to do that?!"
(Shook head)

Fairy 1: "Why YOU!"
(Tried to punch the prince)

Fairy 2: "Easy, now..."
(Hold Fairy 1 with a tired expression)

Fairy 3: "Come on, Your Highness! We must be hurry!" (Yanked The Prince in front)

Prince: "Hey! Watch it, will you?!"
(Looked quite annoyed)

Evil Witch: "Hwhahahaha! So, you've come..."

The Group: !!


SCENE 5

Prince: "Whoa! Who is THAT?!"
(Looked very surprised)

Fairy 1: "Why, that's The Evil Witch!"
(Disbelief expression)

Fairy 2: "Don't you ever heard of her?!"
(Also with disbelief expression)

Prince: "Of course I've never! I would never come here if I knew it!"

Fairy 3: "I begin to doubt that this guy is the real prince..."

Fairy 1: "Well, PRINCE! I don't care! You have the obligation to finish this story by killing The Evil Witch!"

Prince: "Okay, fine! Yo, Evil Witch! I will defeat you or my name is not Keanu Reeves!"
(Challenged The Evil Witch boastfully)

(2 minutes of yet another awkward silence...)

Evil Witch: "You are NOT Keanu Reeves..."

Prince: "Whatever! Let's fight!" (Swung the sword, dust came from the scabbard)

Prince: "Hey, what happened?! How come it becomes dusty like this?! I polish it 3 times a day!"

Evil Witch: "Hah! That measly sword won't even scratch me!" (Didn't defend herself due to overconfidence -_-;)

(The sword passed through the Evil Witch's chest)

Evil Witch: "Eh?! NO! IT CAN'T BEEEEE...!!"
(Vanished into dust)


SCENE 6

Fairies: "Yay! We did it! Yay!"

Prince: "A-HEM! I thought it was 'I' who defeated The Evil Witch!"

Fairy 1: "But that was 'us' who put bags of 'Magic Powder' into your scabbard!"

Fairy 2: "It's supposed to strengthen your sword!"

Prince: "Really?! So that's why the sword was a little bit dusty just now!"

Fairy 2: "Never mind that thing! Just go for the final test!" (Looked determined)

Prince: "F...Final test?! There are NO final tests! It's not in the script of classic Sleeping Beauty!"

Fairy 3: "Tsk, tsk, you didn't read the title correctly, eh?" (Said in an insulting tone)

Prince: "Oh, whatever! Just tell me the final test's rules and I'll do it... fast!"

Fairy 1: "It's called..."
(Serious expression)

Fairies: "Who Wants To Be The Lucky Prince!" (Stretched out hands in funny positions)

Fairy 1: "I'll tell you the rules. There are 3 questions. If you get only 1 right answer, you'll be dumped..."

(Suddenly, a trash can appeared in front of the prince)

(Trash) POOF!

Fairy 2: "... If you get 2 right answers, you'll go into what's called 'The Safe Level'..."

Fairy 3: "... which means that whatever happens to you, you'll bring home a new broomstick!"

(A dusty broomstick suddenly appeared)

(Broomstick) POOF!

Fairy 1: "But if you answer all of them correctly..."

Fairies: "YOU'LL GET THE PRINCESS!!"
(Again, stretched out hands in funny positions)

Prince: "Oh... Okay, but what will happen if I don't answer all of them correctly?" (Said rather curious/suspiciously)

Fairy 1: "Oh, in that case, you'll be kicked, stabbed, punched, smashed, crunched, and poisoned by our friend here... Giant!"

(A Giant suddenly materialized in the middle of the room, waving his hands like an F1 winner)

(Prince) GULP!

Fairy 1: "Shall we begin?"
(Said rather mischievously)

Prince: "Oh... Okay..."
(Terrified)


SCENE 7

Fairy 1: "Question number 1,"
(Started in a formal style)

Fairy 1: "What's the square root of 625?"

Prince: "That's easy! 25, right?"

Fairies: "CORRECT!!"
(Rang a suddenly-popped-up bell)

(Bell) Ting-a-liiiiiiiiiiiinng!!

Prince: "Ah, that's nothing! You know what, I've won many math competitions, and I..."

Fairy 1: "Question number 2,"
(Cut The Prince impatiently)

Fairy 1: "Why did The Evil Witch do such evil things?"

Prince: "Err..."

(Hands) CRACK!

(Prince) GULP!
(Looked at the source of the sound and gulped when he realized that that was the Giant's knuckles, cracked before doing some 'sports'.)

Prince: "Um... because she is... evil?"

Fairies: "CORRECT!!"
(Rang the bell again)

Fairy 2: "What took you so long to answer that?!" (Said matter-of-factly)

(The Prince rolled his eyes up)

Fairy 1: "The final question..."

Fairy 2: "The toughest question of all..."

Fairy 3: "Many Princes failed here... Despite the fact that it is sooooooo easy!"
(Sighed)

Prince: "Wha... What is the question?"

Fairy 1: "Who are the prettiest persons in this world?"

Prince: "The Princess, of course!"
(Full of confidence)

Fairies: "WRONG!!"
(Raised up some boards with an 'x' on each of them)

(The Giant seemed happy while he sharpened something that looked like a really huge blade)

(Blade) SWISSH! CLANG!

Prince: "W... WAIIIITT!! GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE!!" (Sweating)

Fairies: "... Wait."
(Circling like they were discussing something)

The Prince waited impatiently, but terrified to hear the answer as well.

(The Fairies turned around to The Price.)

Fairies: "Well, since you've gone this far... We'll give you one more chance!"

Prince: "OH, THANK YOU!"
(Said over-gratefully)

Fairy 2: "You have a minute to answer."

Prince: "What?!"

Fairy 3: "56...55...54..."

The Prince thought hard

(Prince): 'Wait a minute, they said 'the prettiest persons'... Could that be... Even if it sounds disgusting enough... I gotta' try!'

Prince: "Um... is it ALL OF YOU?"

Fairies: "CORRECT~!!!!!"
(Cried out pathetically)

(Suddenly, loads of flowers and confetti fell from above The Prince)

Fairy 3: "At last! Someone knows the true beauty of us, The Fairies!"
(Said with teary and sparkling eyes)

Prince: "Whatever, where's The Princess?"
(Annoyed because of the things that fell on him and tried in vain to clean his cloth)

Before The Fairies had a chance to answer that, a room in front of The Prince suddenly opened. And there, The Prince saw a beautiful woman lying in front of him...

Prince: "My Princess..."
(Astounded)


SCENE 8

The Prince, ignoring the overjoyed fairies, went closer to The Princess who slept gracefully. Her curly, brown hair seemed glowing in the room... Her beautiful, white skin (thanks to everyday’s skin care! n_~*) glistened in the pale moonlight that somehow entered the room...

And before this description got more hyperbolic than before, The Prince knelt down beside The Princess.

Prince: "O, beautiful seraph who lay in front of me, who are you? You defy me with your holy light, make me feels like a... a... Err, what's next?! I can't think of other romantic and poetic words anymore!"
(Set pathetic-looking eyes with teary lines)

Fairy 1: "Gee, you really don't suit your role!" (Shook head)

Fairy 2: "Please, don't waste the time up! I have an appointment to make!"
(Look at her watch(?!) impatiently)

Fairy 3: "JUST KISS HER!!"

Prince: "Okay, okay! Don't rush me! I'm nervous, you know?!"
(Frustrated)

Fairies: "We'll leave you here! We still have businesses to do, anyway. Bye!"
(Disappeared in swirls of clouds)

Clouds (POOF!)

The Prince, after feeling free enough, leaned forward to kiss The Princess. But when The Prince almost kiss The Princess(few more inches! :P)...

Princess: "AARGH!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" (Mad)

Cheek(SLAP!)

Prince: "Ouch! That hurts! What did you do that for ?!"
(Rubbed the now-red cheek)

Princess: "How dare you interfere with my sleep! I'm waiting for my Prince to come, you know?!"
(Tidied the dress)

Prince: "But... I am The Prince!"

Princess: "YOU?! Hah! Don't kid me! You CAN'T be The Prince!"

Prince: "I AM The Prince!"
(Said desperately)

Princess: "You can't be, I say! Look at you! So dusty and what's with all those petty papers?!”

Prince: "This mess came from the sky and just fell on me when The Fairies cheered!"

Princess: "Oh, really?"
(Looked at The Prince closely)

Princess: "You... ARE DEFINITELY LYING!! GUARDS!!!"

(Guards came from everywhere)

Princess: "Take this impolite and fraudulent person outta' my face!"

Guards: "Yes, Your Majesty!!"

(The Guards dragged the struggling Prince out)

Prince: "BUT I AM THE PRINCE!!!!!"
(Had many cartoonish teardrops from his eyes)

Princess: "Hmph! I don't even want to look at you! Now, I have to 'die' again till my real Prince come!"

(Before the princess could pretend to die again, The Evil Witch Suddenly appeared in the middle of the room)

Evil Witch: "I'm sick of being an evil witch! Move over, Princess!"

(Chanted a spell that turned the Princess into a mosquito)

Evil Witch: "Now I shall wait for the prince! Yay!"

(Pretended to die...)

And they live happily ever... after?!

~THE END~