Karen

Part I

Fuckin' rioters. My head is killing me. It's just a little blood. I'll be fine. Things have got out of control since it appeared. Shit! Karen? Where is she? The city streets are deserted. Not a bit of life, only the broken glass left from looters and small fires left from riots. Everyone moved on I guess, thought I was dead. I'm not surprised there are a few bodies in this empty, cold and dark city street, but where is she? I can't think straight. She was there, calling my name when I fell to the floor. It was light out then. People were everywhere. Shouting and fighting, it was chaos, everywhere people were going crazy because.. because it grew again. “Karen! Karen where are you?” Screaming out and I get no response. Think Trey, just think where could she be. Little sis, where could you have gone? I can't have lost you. I promised. I promised that I would make sure that you'd be okay, you were the one the family had high hopes for. I'm tired maybe some sleep and I'll find her.

Well the sleep didn't help my head none. Not that the concrete bed helped much. At least light out now. Damn it, it's gotten bigger again. The giant break in the sky. Like as though the sky is a sheet of glass which covers us all, and that sheet has a crack in it, ready to smash at any minute and it's coming. Every single day the crack which makes the world tremble in fear, the break that is ripping apart the heavens, which has led to mass hysteria gets bigger and bigger. Covering the planet in an apocalyptic tare. I thought I'd in with the looting. Everyone was going crazy at it, I just thought it was a chance to get Karen things we never had. What am I going to do? Give up again Trey? No! Not this time, I'm going to find her. I will. As I look up from my dirty and blood stained hands I see her. Turning into an alleyway. Her long flowing brown hair, tied with a golden yellow bow. Her small legs skipping around into the dark alley. No time to think. I run after her, what is she playing at? My legs feel weak, they could give way any moment. Across the desolate street I bound myself. To find her. My dear Karen. No one! The alley is empty, just a few bodies and trash. She isn't here? I saw her. I know I did. It had to be her, who else skips with such joy during these hard times. My head, it hurts. Make that noise stop! It's screeching and it's piercing through my head. I clench my my head and fall to my knees in agony. My vision is fading, getting blurry. This is it. “I'm sorry Karen.” Wait there she is again, looking at me. Her blue cardigan. No don't go, don't go to turn the corner at the end of the alley, you don't know what's there.

“You okay there brother?” A voice, out of nowhere is calling at me. Who is that?
“Danny? Is that you?” I call out, my eyes are not opening, I'm trying but it's hard.
“Danny? No mate, why don't I get you some water aye.” No that's not him. This man, he speaks awfully quickly, with an accent. A bizarre one. Irish! That's what it is, a thick fast talkin' Irish man has what I can assume saved my life. I open my eyes, vision still a bit blurry but I'm inside now. On a sofa, I can see him getting me a glass of water from afar. He turns around and comes back my way. Gets to his knees and starts pouring the water down my throat.
“Thought you were a goner for sure. Glad I could save someone. Hopefully you ain't another one of them nut jobs. It would kill me if I'd have to kill the man I saved now wouldn't it.” I can't tell if he's joking or not. The way things are probably not.
“What happened? I saw her, I swear I did.” I'm still confused but my vision is coming back, and I see the blue of his eyes starring at me kindly, not something I'm used to. A small goatee covers his chin and his brown hair is slicked back, a dirty face not a whole reason to wash any more.
“Don't you know what's going on? You know the smashing sky, the whole world gone mad thing? How long have you been out anyway?”
“What? I haven't been dead, I am aware, just what exactly...”
“Are you doing here?” Interrupting me quickly and ecstatic, he jumps to his feet. Fidgety but he looks strong. Someone who's been in a few bar fights. Someone who has to be strong to not turn into the nut jobs and is able to help a man.
“What you are doing here my friend is you had a nasty knock on the head and I helped you in. Nothing to it really.” I gathered that much. I need to leave soon. I don't suppose he's seen my Karen. I am just left dazed and confused as he drinks something from a mug while looking down at the streets. I then notice how high up on an apartment building we are. Far away from everything.
“Hey have you seen this girl?” I reach out to my wallet and take out the folded picture with Karen's face on it. He goes to take it out of my hands to get a better look at her but I make sure to hold onto it.
“Sorry there, never seen her.” He looks serious, as if he really tried hard to think about it. It was a long shot anyway but it couldn't hurt to ask. I get up from laying on his sofa. My head still hurts but the bandage he put has stopped the bleeding. I remain silent after he goes back to the window. All he does is stand there watching the ground and occasionally check the sky. This apartment has no electrical power, or none switched on anyway. No lights are on, it's dull grey interior almost gives me a headache.
“What's your plans for all this anyway?” I thought I'd break the silence, even though he looked deep in thought. He then put down his mug, ran his hands through his hair and then turned around and lent against the glass door.
“That is a very good question my friend. I think I'm going to stay here and watch it all happen. You know the world burn.” I could here grief in his voice as if he's given up on trying. I don't blame him. “What about you lad?”
“For now find my sister, I know she's out there.”
“That her in the photo?” I nodded sinking back into the sofa. “That's good. Something to keep you occupied while all this is going on.”
“It's not just about keeping occupied, it's about keeping a promise I made.” He looked at me and smiled. Then I notice as he went to take another swig of that drink that he is wearing a wedding ring. I stare at it as he put his mug back down. He noticed straight away that I was interested in it, in him. He removed it from his fingers and looking through the golden ring pointing it up to the ceiling. “What happened to her?” I ask knowing he is going to tell me one way or the other.
“Her name was Elaine, I loved her dearly and she killed herself about a week ago.” All that is laid on his face is an apathetic look. He's made peace with the situation but it's left him numb.
“We were going to have a child too.” I remain silent, waiting for him to finish his tail of tragedy. He then moves to sit down on one of the chairs and puts his ring back on while doing so.
“When the sky started to crack here too, people went mad, they were violent and just wanted this as their excuse for mayhem. During the chaos of it all, when things were starting to get out of hand, someone pushed Elaine over. She fell down a flight of stairs while escaping the building. We lost the baby. She couldn't recover and she didn't have any will after that. A few days later I found her hanging in what was to be the babies room.” He looks straight at his mug and remains dead quiet after that. Anything I think of saying isn't good enough. This is the chaos my baby sister is lost in.

We spend the next half hour talking about just what we used to do, jobs, hopes for the future. It was nice to see at least some sanity left here. I need to get back though. He suggests it by saying “Shouldn't you get back to your search, no need to bother yourself with someone like me.” He was right, my next stop will be our house. Maybe she went back there. Maybe she's alive and well. That 'maybe' is all I need. I don't reply to him I just walk out and as I reach the door say “thanks for the whole saving my life thing. Good luck watching the world burn.”

Part II
Maybe I should've asked his name. I don't think it would have made a huge difference though.
All I'm doing is walking through the silent and desolate streets of the city, trying to reach home. Karen, I hope you are there. I'm running out of cigarettes, after the one I'm smoking at the moment I only have two. The sun is setting and the orange glow from it covers the city, complementing the small but furious flames which are dotted around the city. The flames make the shards of glass glisten and the reflection of the sky's scar reflected on each and every piece. It's grown again, almost like a giant spiders web is covering the sky now. Reaching past the view which is blocked by the skyscrapers, and further than that still, it causes panic to those who see it. Nobody knows what it brings but everybody is scarred.

Not long till my house now, from passing the old corner shop, with it's smashed windows and vacant stock I know I'm close. From afar it looks as though there is a stage, candles surround it and what looks like a thick white cloud is huddled around it. It's the nut job, gathering to prey for salvation. I don't want them to see me, but they block the only direct path to my house. I'd better take my chances and get past them. The herd of white hooded, and white cloaked people who have given up hope and have decided just to wait for the end. I try not to get spotted by them. As I approach the crowd of at least twenty people I notice the man on stage.
“We who stand here today beg for your forgiveness. We apologize for our sinful lives and think your punishment is just.” The booming voice from the stage captivates the audience. They look up at him through their hoods. All of them are controlled by the fear of the sky. It's pathetic how they have given up hope. I take the last drag from my cigarette and feel the smoke rush around my lungs calming my body before walking past the nut jobs. The old man on stage is still giving his speech. I choose not to listen all the bullshit from the stage. Karen?! I see her again walking into the mass of white cloaks. Her brown hair trailing behind. Is she really here? Or is this like the other times. I can't miss the opportunity. I join the mass of people, manoeuvring around them. They don't bat a second look at me they're all too manipulated by the man on the wooden stage. I look down through them to see if I can see her. All I can see are small squares of paper all over the place. Some of the people are dropping them on the ground. What is going on here?

I am surrounded by a horde of mindless people, all converted and believing this is the end. I don't care about any of that I just want my sister. I fall to my knees and no one notices. I cry and no one notices. Then one person does. A girl, she sees me in pain on the floor. With a bandage on my head, on my knees, I must look pathetic. She tells me “get up,” with a soft and calm tone and I do with her help. I look into her eyes then. Her green, sparkling eyes. She's young. Only about eighteen, same as me. Her hair which peeks through the white hood is blonde. Beautiful but corrupt since she's here. All she does is look up and stare at the tears in my eyes. I don't say a word. Part of me wants to leave but part of me wishes to stay here, with her. Then the nameless girl approaches and stands close to me, our bodies touching. She smiles with her beautiful face up at me and says “cheer up.” She then makes a move, and kisses me without hesitation. Her lips are soft and tender. What is going on? Then I hear the speech as she kisses me. “and so we return our bodies to you. We apologize and hope you accept us through the golden gates instead of staying here and being destroyed because of the mistakes that the people have made. We have seen the light and wish to continue our existence.”
Before I pull away from the girl she slips something into my mouth. I step a few yards back, my eyes wide open, scarred of what is to come. My heart races, this can't be happening. The nameless girl then looks at me and says with a deluded smile “See, everything will be okay.” From her long white robes, she points it to her head, and I see past the long flowing sleeves what I feared. Everyone, even the man on stage points it towards their head. Only she is looking straight into my soul. Her smile, her soft lips. “NO!” I scream as she gives out a last innocent chuckle but then it was over. A deafening bang from all directions. A flurry of them as if a flock of birds had taken flight. She is no longer standing. None of them are. The searing pain in my head from the bangs don't bother me. I only stand in absolute shock. Their robes are no longer pure white. They are stained, stained with a horrid red.

A mass suicide had taken place in the middle of the street as the sun went down. All of their bodies are now lifeless after shooting themselves dead. They believe that they have gone to a better place. I can't stay for long. I then spit out whatever the girl had put in my mouth. It's a small square of paper, like a stamp. The same ones which are on the floor. That's when I decide to run. Before I do, I recognize some faces from my old life. The pair of them. I'm not surprised they ended here. I'm not sad they died here, drowning in the blood of idiots. The entire floor is red now. I almost feel like laughing at the site of them. I remember my priority. Karen! She was never here. It was just my mind playing tricks again. I run as fast as I can home. I've got no qualms with the dead, no need to stay.

I move without taking a breath. She has to be here. She has to. There it is. The house I grew up in, the big detached house standing as ruins. The windows are smashed, the front door broken down violently. I'm out of breath now, I don't know how long I was running for. As I catch my breath and take in the site of my home something starts. The walls of my house begin to shake. No not shake, their waving as if they are waves of the sea, gently pulling and pushing the air around it. The sky is starting to shift, and pulsate in colours. Green, then blue, then red it flashes before my eyes. I'm left starring at the anomaly in awe. It leaves me speechless. What is going on? My heart, it races, out of control. Why am I trembling so much? This can't be real. The broken glass on the windows, the shards, the teeth. They smile at me, they want to devour me. I can't turn back but it's not right. My head, it hurts again. What is this world I have plunged into? It's madness. As I step up onto the porch of my house in hesitation I feel like the wooden floor boards are melting. They ooze, I'm disgusted it looks like all the ooze of the wood is moving towards me. I'm going to sink into it if I don't move quickly. Bursting and stumbling into the house, nearly breaking the door I fall to the ground. I close my eyes, I don't want to see any of this. Who are you? Watching me as I lay on the floor of my home. I know your there, starring at me, judging me. I look up and see him standing in front of me. Tall and proud, it's how he always was. His face isn't there! His head is, his hair, his ears but there are no facial features on this being standing in front of me. Why can I feel his eyes piercing my soul if he has none. As I get up he disappears into all directions like sand dispersing in the wind. “Danny, I'm sorry I let you down. I said I'd look after her. Easier said brother.” I stumble about my house, looking at the remnants of the past shift into life around me. They move and pulsate almost to the rhythm of my quick heart. Nauseating but also amusing. I can't help but to laugh in hysteria.

We played together, the three of us. Me, you and Karen. On that tire swing out back, we played. I can see you standing there, faceless and in the clothes we buried you in. Still looking at me, tormenting me. You could never hold a grudge, but I can imagine your disappointed. “Do you know what happened after you died?” My mind is still showing me the world through warped eyes but I remain calm, I know this overwhelming feeling I am getting which circles my body. A sense of euphoria. This is the only chance I'll be able to talk with him.

“Well Danny, the world went to shit is what happened. You wouldn't believe me but I actually got clean. I was for some time and then madness hit the world. Like a bomb, sudden and devastating it shook everything. As you can imagine Mum and Dad ran using the first chance they could. They never cared about us. We had each other, right? I doubt they regretted it, they went to join some group. I saw them earlier, being as stupid as ever. The two of them. They didn't even have the decency to say two words to me.” Are these tears? I can feel them scraping sharply down my face, plummeting to the floor and then, they are left as less than a dot on the floor. The walls around me are still like the sea. They still wave with the beating of my heart. What little light around me is glowing and dancing to the sound of the silence which fills the air. I take it all in, breathing deeply and calmly. It'll be over soon. Huh? Blood? My nose, it's bleeding. The crimson ooze seeps out from my nose, trying to escape my body. The blood. The blood is escaping. My eyes are growing weak. Tired, I need to sleep.

Part III

All I feel is falling, deep into a pit of nothingness. Only the feeling of constant dropping. No air rushing or sound to tell me that I fall from some earthly shackle. No, just sinking quickly, lower and lower from the expanses of nothing into the encompassing void which that same nothing embodies. To fall into the same beginnings I fall from. Only this feeling with blinding pain from both my head and the side of my stomach. What exactly is this? I see her in the memories of the void. She is smiling at me as if nothing has happened. Only her lips are broken. They are cracked and as her emphatic smile reaches from cheek to cheek her face turns to ceramic, like a china doll. The cracks of her fragile face grab hold of her entire head like a malicious web, snaring her kindness into the darkness the world has become. Now, no more face, it crumbled and scattered into this pit.

The pain grows stronger, I start seeing light. I let out a wailing scream of agony and I find myself in my old house. Laying down on my living room floor. Silent and in darkness I struggle to move. What little light there is from fires in the nights street shine in from the street gives me a chance to try and grasp my situation. My head no longer hurts but there is a pain in my side which is paralysingly painful. A wooden floorboard, broken and jagged had pierced through me when I collapsed in my hallucinative stupor. I lay my head softly back on the ground. Where could Karen be? I can't stop now. I can try one last place. I might have the strength for that much before either mine or everyone's light is put out. I put a broken piece of wood which from the ground and put it in my mouth. Next I take one big deep breath. Finally one push from the ground to bring me to my feet. I grab hold of the sofa as my legs turn to jelly and the feeling my newly regained consciousness slips nearly to nought. There is no point in trying to put words to the physical pain I am in. Nothing can relate to such agony, and pining over it would get me nowhere. It is what it is, no more, no less. I regain strength and with one hand clutching my side, trying to reduce the flowing blood and the other reaching to rip the curtains from the window. I manage to muster up the strength to tear the curtain down. All that's left to do is wrap it around myself tight. It'll buy some time. With that done, I stumble to my front door and go back out into the chaos laden streets. I leave it only this place with one last sentiment “Goodbye Danny.”

I'm now slowly reaching closer to where I hope Karen is. My thoughts final haven for her safety lay in her school. It was the one place she was safe from Mum, Dad, the sadness of Danny, safe from me. Getting to the hight of a hill which the decent of the other side is the last stretch towards the school, I move as pathetically fast as I can. The sky above covers the stars with the consuming scar of the universe. The mirror of reality is cracked and is about ready to smash into the millions of pieces which the cracks outline in it's mesmerizing patterns of discord. I reach the summit of this small hill and look down upon the desolate road. No soul is in sight. People are probably spending these last moments together, or evacuated somewhere, they might be dead or dying, repenting or running. I can see the school in the distance, and a small slither of light on the horizon behind it of the rising sun. Time to start making my way there. I take out a cigarette from my pocket, the box is red. I light it, take a lungful and start walking.

Wondering down the road, about half way the only person I see in amidst the row of abodes which people once lived in I see an old man sitting on his front porch. A great big white beard and in an old fishing hat, merely watching. He notices me and pays me very little attention as far as I can tell. Keeps looking straight on. As I reach the passing of his gate the old man asks me in a calm manner “Hey kid, you got a spare cig for an old man?” At this point I'm about halfway through mine. I stop and without hesitation open his gate and walk up his front porch. The man doesn't say anything more, his old hat tips up with his head showing his old grey eyes still staring forward. I take out the bloody cigarette packet and offer him a cigarette. “Last one? You sure?” He looks up at me while asking whether I minded. “It's fine, I was thinking of giving up anyway.” He gives a grin at my response and takes it and puts it in his mouth. I take out my light and set it alight. He stops and notices the blood which covers my hand, but doesn't stop long, and doesn't ask anything. “Besides, it's only one cigarette, it's no big deal.” I say as I turn to leave off the man's porch.
“Well, it's a bigger deal than what's going on.” He says with a chuckle in his voice as he slouches back into his chair. When I continue walking down the street I look at him, he merely nods to me and I nod back and then keep going.

My slow pace is unbearable but my body won't go any quicker. I'm reaching the bottom of the street where the school lays. I trip over a broken part of the desolate road. As I hit the ground the pain rushes through my body from my wound and I cough up blood. A pathetic sight to behold as I lay there. Looking back, the old man is out of view, not that he seems the type to run and help, he'd probably just tell me to get up and keep going. That's what I should be telling myself anyway. That's what I'll do. Getting up is a struggle and leaves my head feeling faint. The door to the school is open. Going through the front doors take me back. The days here which I wasted, the kid I was. No lights are on, every class empty and papers from random notebooks and textbooks scattered, fluttering in the wind. “It was a long shot Trey” I tell myself as I look up to the ceiling. I'll go to the roof, see the end there.

Walking the hallways I still think of Karen, how she spent her time here. There were people who cared, looked out for her and back then before all this mess, they did it for no reason. Maybe they pitied her a bit from her background but they never showed it. This one teacher she had, a woman, she was nice. Tried to set me straight a few times. I walk passed her classroom and remember the time that she acted as Karen's mother since ours was nowhere to be seen to protect her from social services. Karen always smiled with her. Then she told Karen “Now go to Danny, he'll look after you, it's his big brother promise.”

Just a few more flights of stairs. My mind is wondering, thinking about the people who would be here after the sun rises. The stories of those who are trying to find a way through this. People look out for themselves most of the times now. The scar scared the survival instincts out of everyone. A worldwide phenomena which no one could explain but yet we fear it because we were told it's dangerous. We really had it all figured out huh. How many people are left who haven't been indoctrinated by cults or killed, or who have killed. The shift which occurred was seamless. No question, just chaos. I never questioned. Just joined in with the madness, and that made me break my promise.

Third floor. Next stop the roof. The last hallway I have to cross seems long. It's nearly over. What is the Irishman who saved my life doing now? Probably just starring out from his perch looking down on the madmen and also looking up at the heavens where his wife lays. What became of the bodies of the suicide? My guess is that they are still there. Just laying down from the rising sun. Their bodies submerged in their blood, rotting, eventually turning to dust in the wind. No one would bury my parents who lay there. To anyone to pass that site of the self inflicted massacre they are just to people who couldn't handle reality. Then what will I be? What will be thought of me when or if someone finds me? Just someone who died alone. Nothing amazing about him. They would be right. There's nothing amazing, nothing amazing about the Irishman, nothing amazing about the dead, nothing amazing about that old man, enjoying a cigarette and isn't that brilliant. A small smile gleams on my face as I think that. These people are just that, people and The person who I promised I'd keep safe is gone.

I reach the top of the last stairs and open the metal door. The strong wind from the tall building throws the door open. My vision is blurring but I can see two figures standing there. Someone tall and someone short. They look at me, the small one hiding behind the tall. I step through the door and feel the rush of the air on my skin. As I make my way forward towards the centre of the roof the two approach me hesitantly. As I look again to the small figure, she comes into focus. My mind can't understand what is going on, my eyes don't believe themselves. I fall to my knees and my hand falls from grasping the blood which is leaking from my side. “Trey? Is..Is that you?”
As the tears fall from my eyes I respond in a whimper “Yes, Karen, it's Trey.” She still clings to the larger figure and is scarred of the way I am, blood ridden and weak. The tall figure bends down to her and then I notice it's a woman. She says to my sister in a calm and welcoming voice “Now go to Trey, he's here to protect you. It's his big brother promise.”
After that before I can make sense of anything she runs to me and into my arms. She squeezes me tight. I have very little strength left, only enough to put my arms around her. I pull her back and take a good look at her. Her gleaming smile and bright blue eyes stare into mine. I brush her long hair and try to wipe some of the dirt of her face only to replace it with the blood on my hands. She's amazing, and now I know she'll be safe. Then her eyes are poised to behind me. Past my head and up into the sky, I'm to much in awe to take any notices but she says “Look, something is happening!” in her innocent voice. I don't look. All I hear is a sound like a million skyscrapers smashing. As I look down to her she looks up at the sky. As I look past her crystal like snowflakes fall everywhere. The colour of my sisters face is now reflecting a mesmerizing purple colour and patterns of unimaginable beauty are in her eyes. Her face is turning blurry, my arms get weak. Out of all this, I'm glad the last thing I see is her amazing smile.


The End