The Toothache Diary Chapter 8

TOOTHACHE DIARY
CHAPTER 8


It’s somewhat quiet now where I am. I can still hear that damn beeping noise though. Where ever I am, it smells clean and fresh. I didn’t realize you still kept your sense of smell in death. Anyway, I feel pretty good. Death isn’t so bad after all. I was always afraid of dying. I watched both my parents die from cancer. It wasn’t a pretty sight. It changed them physically and mentally. I think that was the most difficult part to witness. How they changed so dramatically. They were once strong, able bodied, and independent. Cancer took over and changed them to sick, helpless, and frail. I had to sit back and witness this.

Just like my children had to witness my downfall. But cancer didn’t kill me. My addiction did. My hunger and need to “feel better” killed me. Slowly but surely I was killing myself everyday. Even though I feared death, I was bringing myself closer to it everyday. And I did it on purpose. I was tired of my life.

I was tired of all the disappointments and the criticism I got for those disappointments. I didn’t like being a failure. I didn’t like being a loser. I didn’t like being ugly. I hated the way I looked. I used to be pretty foxy back in the day. I had a nice shape, full of energy, and a beautiful smile. My smile was the best feature I had. That was the case until I started losing….wait, I hear something. Someone’s coming. There’s someone here with me. I cant see them but I feel their presence. It must be the angels. The angels are here to take me Home…