Thoughts that circulate around your head when a relationship has ended. |
When I am all alone in bed I think of you and her and then I am dead. You are happy in new lover's arms, thinking only of you and her intertwined, thigh to thigh, palm to palm. All I have for comfort now is a pillow and my duvet spread, which once caused joy and comfort, bring only now dread as I have no one to share them with. I am reminded of who is not there and although I try to not despair I cannot help but sob as you're with her not giving a sod; not giving a second thought to me and you. You and me were meant to be keeps going round and round as I lay my head down I cannot rest. I know I did my best and tried to give myself completely- Willing myself to stop this tiresome train of thought I hate myself slightly for letting me be so hurt. If my child self could see me now she'd laugh and jeer as I never gave into peer pressure back then and sought only my own comfort and joy, which came from me like a self-sufficient tree. I close my eyes to sleep on these child-like musings and it all becomes confusing, as thoughts of Shakespeare's infamous: 'better to have loved and lost then not to love at all' ring through. I cannot sleep and as if on repeat every moment of our two year tenure plays on until it comes to that tragic scene where you tell me that it's over now, for no good reason, other than for you the relationship's dead. And Shakespeare's voice interrupts: 'better to have loved and lost...' Cobblers! I am forever altered and marred. Never shall I think back on our two years together with pleasure. Two years of my life are gone. And what am I left with? Thoughts of you and her together and I alone. |