Keeping Up Appearances

This is a request I was given (sorry for taking so long to work on it),
in which Applejack attempts to coach Rarity in how to appeal to Trenderhoof--in a less-than-marelike manner.




Keeping up Appearances

"Oh, it's just not fair, Applejack." The ivory equine winched forlornly to her friend.
Applejack simply rolled her eyes and sighed deeply, growing tired of Rarity's consant worries and problems. "Perhaps he just ain't yer type." She responded, trying to appear concerned with a watered-down grin. Rarity turned her nose up at Applejack and turned her head away in disgust. "Well it's alright for you, Applejack. Trenderhoof is all over you!"
"If ya'll're really so worked up about all this, maybe I could just show ya'll how to attract Trenderhoof.."
Rarity perked up. "You.. You could do that?!"
"I reckon so. It seems like this Trenderhoof is attracted to me 'cos I'm a little more... rough than ya'll."
"Rough?! What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well... you don't much like gettin' covered in dirt, right?"
"Of course not. I would disrupt my mane."
"There ya go. I don't give a flyin' feather about gettin' a little mud on me. Maybe that's why Trenderhoof likes me more."
Rarity spiked up again with flustering optimism. "You know, Applejack, I think you might be onto something! All I need to do is dirty myself up a little and Trenderhood will be flinging himself right at my hoofs!"
"Right; but do you know the first thing about being dirty?"
"..No; but you could teach me!"
Applejack smirked. She hadn't ever had the chance to have a bit of fun with Rarity, and it was something she desired greatly. She trotted over to the barn door, sealing it shut with a large levered plank of wood.
"Wh-Why are you locking us in, Applejack? It's positively clammy in here."
"It's about to get a little more 'clammy'" Applejack remarked softly under her breath.
"Well we don't want Trenderhoof comin' by before you're ready for him, do we?" Applejack grinned in response to Rarity's question, blowing her matted mane out of her eye.

"No... I suppose not."
Applejack chuckled internally as she smiled at her plaything, feeling the aftermath of her carb-heavy dinner welling up inside her.
Farting was no bringer of shame to Applejack - this was a fact. It was actually somewhat of a speciality of hers: her mind recalled the long summer days when she and her family would spend all day on the farm, holding lengthy fart contests which left Sweet Apple Acres stinking like a sewage plant on a hot day.

It was no lie that Applejack had produced just about every fart in the book: long ones, short ones, wet ones, airy ones; she knew perfectly how to form the perfect air biscuit.
She made her way over past Rarity again, facing away from the confused pearl-white pony.
"Well... Are you going to teach me or not?" Rarity inquired rather impatiently, bringing her face ever closer to Applejack's rotund rump; her straw-like tail hiking slightly.

She knew just how to drop a silent fart using a contrived contraction of her corn-fed glutes; doing so and letting loose an inaudible plume into Rarity's face.
She reacted mere moments later, spluttering and turning away from the sharp, sour stench which had somehow appeared around her.

"What is that scent?!" She cried, as Applejack turned to her and chuckled.
"Sorry, partner. Been holdin' that one in all day."
Applejack leant her neck forwards and took a sniff of her own gas.
"Hoo-eey! That's a stinker!" She exclaimed, giggling and letting an audible rip escape from between her thighs.

"That's disgusting, Applejack! Oh, my; I can taste it!"
"Perfect."
"I fail to see how this is perfect."
"Well... Ya'll want to be dirty for Trenderhoof, so what better way than to let a few steamers go?"

Rarity's eyes widened and mouth levered open. "You're surely not suggesting-"
"I am."
"But that's so... Unladylike! No - I refuse to expel gas in such an uncouth display."
Applejack grinned again, leaning forward her stance and flicking her eyes to Rarity with teasing mischief.
"I thought you wanted Trenderhoof to like you, Rarity. This is the best way."
Rarity gradually diminished her uncertainty and reluctancy as she remembered her passion for Trenderhoof.
"Very well."

"Great. Now just let me get a good sample and we'll see if ya'll're ready."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means I need to sniff yer fart and see if it smells rank enough for Trenderhoof."
"I... Suppose you can do that." Rarity replied, turning her rear to her friend and shifting her tail to reveal her plump buttocks beneath.
"I think I can feel something coming." she sighed, glaring down at her paunch and rubbing it slightly to stimulate a shift of gases.
Her belly let loose a mighty roar, which took Rarity slightly by surprise. "Good heavens; did that noise really come from me?!"
Applejack chuckled. "Just wait till you hear the noise about to come from you in a minute." she grinned, brushing her face past Rarity's tail and catching it between her two rounded globs of fat, ensnaring her nose in the musky chasm between.

Rarity's butt was certainly well cleaned. So much so that not a single foul whiff could be detected coming off from it. In fact, it actually smelled quite pleasant.
Rarity continued to try and work the small pocket of wind through her colon via perfectly ordered strains of pressure.
The fashionista didn't ever break wind in front of other ponies; she waited until she was alone in her room to relieve herself of any putrid vapours, before airing out the room and acting as if the corrupt actions had never taken place.

It felt rather close to its escape now, and Rarity braced her behind for the discharge.
"Are you ready Applejack?"
She nodded as best she could, and nuzzled further into the uncharted realms of Rarity's plot.

With a startled yelp and a short squeal her first flatulent release flooded her perfect plot, soiling the carefully-prepared sweet scents it possessed not moments ago.
Applejack took a strong snort of the fart, savouring its odour before taking a small sample into her mouth and rolling about her tongue.

"Hmm... Boiled broccoli and cabbage.. I think that's a dash of cheese.."
Rarity was a little weirded out to say the least. "What are you doing, Applejack?"
"I'm just testing this fart. It needs to be putrid enough to get Trenderhoof interested, after all."

Rarity sighed for the umpteenth time. "It's making me feel uneasy. Doesn't that smell disgusting?"
"No, and that's the problem." Applejack snapped as she pulled her muzzle free from its humid prison.
"We're gonna need to do somethin' about the smell. It's just not extreme enough."
Rarity tittered at the ludicrousness.
"I fail to see how we could alter the smell of my gas, Applejack."
"It's easy. We just mix up a little somethin' somethin' and wait for the results to kick in."
"What in Equestria do you mean?"
"Follow me." Applejack said shortly; sternly, before leading out of the barn and gesturing for Rarity to follow her.
The two made their way to Sweet Apple Acre's kitchen, and Applejack got to work with rooting through the cupboards and drawers.
She placed a bowl on the table, pulling out an array of bottles and vegetables and placing them around it.
"Right. I'm gonna mix up the perfect recipe for gas, an' you're gonna eat it."
Rarity silently nodded, still bemused and disgusted; but willing.

Applejack flung the different ingredients into the bowl; onions, carrots, cabbages and artichoke amongst other things, in a way which suggested she'd done this before.
"You certainly seem... Learned in this, Applejack." Rarity hastily observed.
"Sure I am. Me and sis used to always do this: see how rancid we could make our... Backwind stink."
She continued her task, experimenting with a few potent spices and herbs, before finishing up.
"And there we go! Eat up, Rarity!" The orange cowpony grinned as she offered the questionable gunk to her friend.
"Oh.. And ya'll might want to use this.." She laughed, giving Rarity a wooden clothes peg.

Uneasily, Rarity took the bowl in her hooves, peg on muzzle, and began to pour the disgusting potion down her throat, loudly gulping and cringing at the sharp taste. She managed to finish the bowl completely, shuddering and wiping her lip.
"Well.. That was absolutely repulsive. What now?"
"Now, we wait."
"Wait? For how long?"
"Till yer digestive system's gone and done its job. I'd say till perhaps tomorrow mornin'"
"You want me to come back tomorrow morning?"
"Eeyup. We'll take a sample then."

Rarity grinned uneasily, stifling a toxic belch and making her way out of the farmhouse, giving her farewells to Applejack.


~




The following day, Rarity made her way into the cool barn, her belly rumbling and shaking wildly.
That mixture she had eaten yesterday was certainly taking its toll on her gut, as was obvious with its violent cramps and pains.
Applejack was waiting in the barn eagerly-it seemed as though she had more enjoyment for flatulence that she let on- as she grinned while the pained pony trudge into the barn and slam the door.
"Uuuurgh~ I really hate you right now, Applejack." She groaned, which evoked merely a chuckle from her palomino friend.
"Well I'm glad you find this so -ugh- amusing, Applejack; it's most certainly not a laughing matter for me."
"Simmer down, Rarity--it's just a little bout of gas! Nothin' any other pony can't handle!"
Rarity petulantly glared to Applejack, rubbing her belly slowly and angrily.

"Well I'd rather get this done and dusted as soon as possible." She said at length, her stomach making the vote unanimous with a low growl.
Rarity's shoulders jolted, her mouth levered open, and a long, low, drawling belch rattled her throat and filled her mouth with the abhorrent taste of yesterday's "meal".

Applejack took a brief sniff of the gas before steadying herself in preparation of a sample from the other end.
Rarity sighed, rolled her eyes, and then turned clumsily to meet her plot with Applejack's muzzle.
She kept her head at a minimal distance from the ivory unicorn's plot, allowing it room to still generate an impressionable sound.

"Now, Rarity; make sure you make this one as long as possible: I want a good sniff."
She sighed; there was so much violently expanding gas in her gut that it would not be hard to sustain a continuous flow of this flatus, though the idea still seemed awfully uncouth.
She cleared her throat, and then slowly un-tightened her anal sphincter, allowing a soft, silent hiss of gas to emerge from her once recherché butthole.
Applejack felt the warm breeze brush her face, basking in the steady release as it drew out into a far louder, more explicit popping sort of flow; loud and powerful.
Already Applejack was taking in multiple lungfuls of the veritable gas cloud forming over her face, moaning quietly to herself as the sheer potency burned her nose.

Taking a quick breath, Rarity's rumble came to a momentary stop, before soon starting up again, but much deeper and wetter; bassy and juicy.
Her face began to turn a shade of red as her strain and lack of breathing began to affect the poor unicorn, and she stopped the fart again--this time for good.

"Oh, my. I'm sorry, Applejack, but I think I'll pass out if I try and pass anymore. That was... Quite impressive though, surely?"
"You still got more inside you after that one?"
"Why heavens, yes; that concoction you fed me really treated my tummy illy. I feel like a balloon."
"Holy hay! That's perhaps the longest one I've ever heard--beside Big Mac's boomers, of course."
"And length is a positive factor?"
"Course! Trenderhoof will be mighty impressed by a long fart!"
"You think so? Oh, that's great! I could have easily sustained that for longer, but you see I do need to breathe.." Rarity boasted, beginning to feel proud at her lengthy release.

"And the smell? It's satisfactory?" She inquired, said smell slowly curling into her nostrils.
Applejack made certain with a long, hard sniff into Rarity's backside, taking in as much of the scent as possible before coughing and gagging.
"Oh, yeah.. I'm pretty sure that's... Strong enough... Celestia.."
The cowpony used her hat to try and fan some of the air in another direction, her eyes watering and her nose still sore.

"Splendid!" Rarity exclaimed, a splutter escaping with joy. "All we'll need now is Trenderhoof; Oh! I can't wait!"
Applejack warmly grinned, moving from the heated barn out onto Sweet Apple Acres. "I'll be back in a tick!" she shouted, as she left Rarity alone with herself and her gut, which was still considerably full despite her evacutation not moments ago.
She grew weary and desperate as the time Applejack had been gone seemed to grow painfully longer and longer still, until at great length the barn door slowly opened with that familar signal of bliss. Not hesitating a moment Rarity stuck her rear to the door, and let rip.
Just as before, this fart was also powerful and deep; resonating loudly through her cheeks and complementing the air with a growing cloud of that putrid combination of every disgustingly gas-inducing food that Applejack had fed her. She gasped and tried to simultaneously take in breaths as the fart was still releasing, being successful as she could still feel that huge bubble squeeze through the threshold of her quivering anus, emptying repulsively into Trenderhoof's face. She wanted to make sure he got a pure, serious whiff of what she had to offer, using her butt to fumbly feel a head behind her and trap it between her cheeks with an effort of squeezing her buttocks together, aiding the tone with a constantly ululating buzz. She gasped again, almost orgasmically, as she felt the slow struggles against her, the gas she had been holding in for so very long now flowling free in rich, rife, wet bubbles of pure pony methane expelled via her rump, the astonishing length still petrifying to the pony.
Even the gassiest of ponies cannot release a fart of impossible length, and Rarity soon felt the gas flow reduce slowly to a whispering, saturated rasp before coming to a squelchy end.
She sighed the longest and hardest she ever had, wishing she'd tried at some kind of world record attempt.
She turned around, and found to her complete surprise not Trenderhoof; but Applejack, laying on the floor and desperately gasping for a breath of breathable air.
In a few short moments Trenderhoof arrived in the barn's doorway, clearly some way behind the eager cowpony. Trenderhoof could not avoid bringing some of the gas in through his nose, his eyes widening as he did so. "Oh, Celestia-" he said slowly.
Rarity seized in anticipation. Trenderhoof gazed to her, his eyes fixed on her directly. "This... Oh- this is wonderful!"
She blushed, her mane falling over her face as she giggled girlishly.
"Oh, Applejack! Even your flatulence possesses the smell of pure heaven!"
Both Rarity and a depleted Applejack were shocked.
"No! It- It wasn't me! It was Rarity!" Applejack hurridley slurred, shaking her head frantically.
"Now now--there's no need to be so modest!" Trenderhoof replied, leaning down to Applejack's rump and taking in a hard sniff.
Shocked, unsure of what to do next, both Rarity and Applejack stared at Trenderhoof - dumbfounded.



~