Lucky Item Indeed

Lucky Item Indeed


          On a particularly unspectacular audition, where she has already been forgotten – even before leaving the room – “That’s it, I give up!” Kristina thinks to herself while she gathered her things before leaving the room.

          When the elevator doors opened, a nobody-intern, a kindred spirit possibly, rushed off, knocked Kristina over and spilled out the contents of the box he carried to the ground.

          “Watch it!” he spewed. 

          Ignoring the fact that he crashed into her, he started shoving things back into the box and rushed away without helping her up.  Ticked-off, she picked herself up off the floor, but before walking away, she noticed that jerk didn’t get everything. 

          After seeing what she picked up, she rolled her eyes and thought, “oh how perfect.”  A pair of hillbilly teeth.  It couldn’t have been something useful or good, like a chocolate bar, or money.  No!  It had to be fake, ridiculous hillbilly teeth!

          Later, when she arrived at her third part-time job, she told her best friend Geoffrey what happened.  He looked at her with pity then burst out laughing.  She threw her order book at him, naturally missing him completely.

          “I dare you to wear them!” he grinned. 

          Her reply was a snarky glare.

         “I’ll make it worth it”, he said seriously, adding “I’ll give you $ 20 bucks to wear them the rest of the night, AND, you have to invent a persona to go with it.  You can’t break character or you’ll lose!”

         “And if I lose?  You know I don’t have…”

         Geoffrey interrupts, “You treat me to my favorite embarrassing story of yourself, acting it out, with the voices, props and all the trimmings!” he finished giddy as a child. 

          As she thought, he added, “It will be the perfect thing to let you practice your acting skills in front of people.”

        Kristina sighed.  She agreed with him.  What else did she have to lose?  Her dignity?  Ha.

          After putting in the teeth, she looked in the mirror.  Geoffrey fell to the floor with loud, uncontrolled laughter. 

          “Oh…my…God!  I look…I look…” mouth gaping, unable to finish speaking, she stared at herself horrified.

          “Shut up Geoffrey!” she yelled at him, he was still on the floor.

          Struggling to get composed, he told her “No matter what, don’t break character.”

        As she turned to face him, her “teeth” showed through her still gaping mouth – Geoffrey fell to the floor once again.

          Coming out from the back area of the restaurant, Kristina walked with her head down and moved like she was walking through thick molasses, thought to herself “How do I keep out-humiliating myself?  How?”  She saw Geoffrey running up to Tony, the restaurant’s owner, and knew he was telling him everything.  “They will have a field day with this.” she sighed, then prayed no one would be at any of her stations, however, why would anything go her way at this point?

          Because it was early, and because it was Kristina’s natural luck, a man, dressed quite well was seated at her station while all the surrounding stations remained empty.  She sighed again.  Standing near the back wall, she fiddled with her apron, wracked her brain to come up with a character to go with her “new look” and thought that she has no business being an actor. 

          Tony came up behind her and bumped her shoulder with his.  Tony, the owner of the restaurant, was like a grandfather to everyone who worked there.  He also had a somewhat mischievous and practical joker personality.  He gave many people a chance, and was very kind, and she adored him.  “How do these things happen to you?” he inquired.

“Believe me, I’d like to know myself.”

“Well, I’ve got $ 20 riding on you kid.”

        “Oh great!  Everyone’s betting?!” she let out a long groan.  Tony let out a laugh and patted her shoulder.

          Maria, a waitress who has been there for years, came running over.  “Just go!  Don’t overthink it, just do it before you lose your nerve and lose to Geoffrey!” she encouraged Kristina and pushed her forward hard.

          She shuffled slowly, closer to her customer, sweating.  “H…Hi.  I’m your waitress.” She oozed a weird southern slash hillbilly drawl, and it was bad.  Out of the corner of her eye, Geoffrey was looking at her and laughing, she squirmed.  The man’s first impression was hard to miss, his eyes bulged and his head jerked as if startled for a second, but he pulled himself together quick.  At that point, Felix came out from the kitchen and put a water on the table and stared at her. 

          “This was nerve wracking”, she thought, but it would only get worse.  As she handed him a menu, she knocked the water over, all over his lap.  She let out a squeal-like gasp.  She grabbed for the napkin and started blotting his jacket, repeating “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” with the same weird accent that just sounded as if garbled, like she had marbles in her mouth.

          He grabbed the napkin and told her “it was okay”, with a mixed look of pity and annoyance on his face. 

          They got through to the entrée without incident, which helped ease Kristina’s nerves.  He asked a few small-talk questions, until he got to “why are you out here in LA?”

        After explaining that she wanted to become an actress, he raised an eyebrow, but was kind enough at least, not to express the thought behind the raised brow.  The kind of thought that would say “Are you crazy?  You’ve seen your teeth, right?!”

        When came back with his credit card, he handed her his card, telling her “I’m a guy with a lot of influence, and I think you should get your shot.  Your teeth make you “unique” (a kind way of putting it) and I like unique.”  He handed her $ 1,000 tip and walked out. 

          Stunned, she thought to herself “Ohhhh great, if I get a career, they come with the teeth!”