Firing Squad

The breeze nipped at the heels of those brave souls who were venturing out that morning. Each person had a wind-swept skip to their step, the result of the cattle-dog weather, not due to any sort of happiness skipping is normally associated with. Although the lady in the red jacket might have been happy, she seemed to skip a wee bit higher on her way in from the suburbs.

Unfortunately that’s not who this story is about, we’re here to talk about the man who walked past her, the man who sneezed when the cat fur from the lady’s jacket went up into his nose and triggered a sneezing fit.

This man believed this to be another ill-fated moment in his already horrendous day. He was, you see, going into work that very moment, to be fired. As he sneezed the last of the cat’s fur out of his nose he blessed his nose and then his fortune, at least Mrs Marge-Piston his associate had warned him of this impending doom. Mrs Marge-Piston had contacts you know. Her warning had been the dot that connected the meeting he had this very morning, with the poor job reviews he had been getting.

He walked into the office lobby and saw Mrs Marge-Piston chatting merrily with the concierge as she handed over her jacket, ‘moulting everywhere’, he heard as he walked past with a smile and a wave. Mrs Marge-Piston was always talking about her 3 kids and her 2 cats. Apparently the kids were moulting, or was it cats that did that? Mrs Marge-Piston joined him in the elevator and although he didn’t talk much, Mrs Marge-Piston didn’t mind. She loved to tell him all about how her online course was going, her networking with the big-boys and the like. She could talk all day Mrs Marge-Piston could. But he liked her so he nodded and let her speak.

They exited the elevator and went to their cubical, they both worked, albeit Mrs Marge-Piston worked a lot quicker than he did. It was ‘that online typing course’ she’d done the month before she said proudly.

Before he knew it, it was time for his morning meeting. Good thing, he thought as the smell of Mrs Marge-Piston’s Vegetarian Tofu snacks came wafting into his cubical. He waved at Mrs. Marge-Piston as he left and she managed a wee smile back, the sympathetic kind. The elevator enclosed him and took him up to the boss’ office where he knocked on the door and got welcomed in.

It didn’t take long for him to be fired and for his prides sake, I’ll leave the details out of here. He returned to his office, where he picked up his stapler, picture frame and pack of gum. When he got to the lobby he tried to smile as he waved goodbye to Mrs. Marge-Piston as she put her red jacket back on for lunch, she smiled sadly back at him.

He stopped briefly at the concierge to get the last of his mail then he headed back out into the cold, where he sneezed as he passed Mrs Marge Piston and dropped the mail he was holding. Imagine his shock when the first piece of mail he picks up was an Introduction Letter to the new accountant, Mrs. Marge-Piston. 

Oh bother, it seems I made a mistake, it was the lady in the red jacket this story was about after all.