Angel

“I love you Teddy”

“I love you too Angel”

She snuggles closer and kisses me in the ear, puts her little head close to mine and sighs. I watch Her closed eyes and listen to Her breathing closely. Soon Her breath comes in a steady rhythm and Her long eyelashes stop trembling, having finally caught the first dream of the nigh in their luscious net. That is the magic moment that only I get to witness and only I have the power to bring about. This is the moment I live for.

From dawn to dusk I watch the crazy world twirl around me so much like a carousel we went on for a ride on Her fourth birthday. Each morning She opens those enormous brown eyes to the world, eager to get a chunk out of it, bigger than she had they day before. First drag mommy out of bed for some breakfast, then get washed up and dressed up and rush out the door for another adventure that awaits Her on the other side. I always worry at that moment, when She eagerly pulls at the door handle…

Will She ever come back to me again?...
                                                          What if the adventure She finds there, where I can’t follow, will take Her away from me?   

That thought just tears my stuffing out of my chest each time I think of it, and I can’t help but cry my beady eyes out, wrecked with fear, anxiously waiting for Her voice to come trailing back to me through that same cursed door that cut it off in the first place.

When She’s safely back inside our room, Her soft little arms around me, telling me about the wondrous things She has discovered out there, in the big wide world, I can start breathing again. She strokes my head and makes all of my fears melt away. Then we brush our teeth and put our pajamas on and off to bed. Kiss mama good night and turn off the light. Here, under the covers, hugging close, Her world shrunk to the only world I want to live in, deep in her embrace, I can only hold on as tight as I can and watch for that magic moment.

“I love you Angel.”

“I love you too Teddy.”