running out of breath

Running out of breath



Running out of breath, what is it like? I can recall as a cross country running out of breath and needing to slow down. I have difficulty with asthma and have been sick enough with Bronchitis that I wondered if I was nearing my last breath. My mom is scared, even terrified. They cannot get her oxygen levels up. I was called at work by my sisters who were doing the best they could to be supportive of mom and each other. It hurts to be so far away from all of them. I was at work when I got the phone call telling me about how mom was swept into the hospital and was faced with spending more time there than she would like. She always hated hospitals. My coworkers immediately reached out to me. They had stories of losing loved ones. They gave me permission to leave work. I am in Kansas and all the rest of my family are in Massachusetts. I decided to stay at work knowing that death does not give a time of departure.

I feel like I am stranded on a desert island with the bare essentials, wondering how long I can survive. I am running out of breath. In the end I will need to say goodbye to mom. It will not be easy. I am already learning that God is going to find ways to get breath (comfort) from others so that I can stay in the race in ways that I can be of best help to others who still wait for Mom to let go. None of us wants to see her suffer any more.*Pthb*